Stirring...

As like so many mornings, Kyle came into the bathroom as I was putting on the finishing touches to my "daily prep"... As he approached me, he said, "I've got some questions for you but you can't answer them right now. You have to think on them and then give me the answer." I'm not very good about things like this as I all-too-often speak the first thing that comes to mind. (I'm still getting the discipline thing down that I blogged about the other day...) Anyway, his questions were as follows:

*Do I believe in my own abilities more than God's?
*Do I think or say that my circumstances are too difficult for God to handle?
*Do I believe in His almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it?

I immediately gave him my "preliminary" answers... :o{ and asked him to write the questions down so that I could think and pray over them throughout the day and give him my "final" answer...

Although I knew he had been reading his Bible and doing his devotion, I wasn't exactly sure where the questions were coming from or what they were pertaining to. As soon as he left for work and I found a comfy spot in our rocker (I love this chair for prayer and study), I did my journaling and then opened Oswald to see how God wanted to speak to me through his words. I was immediately drawn-in and had a new understanding as to the origin of Kyle's questions. Nearly two-hours later, I am still thinking, pondering, grasping, searching, receiving, praying... God is stirring in my heart and I love that realization as I know He is desiring to teach me and grow me in an area that I am lacking.

Last night I had a meeting to attend and every chance he gets, Kyle asks to "take me" so that we can visit and spend time together...yesterday evening was no exception. As we traveled we shared various things...I told him that I had "retrieved" several journals from "the shelf" and as I skimmed over the pages, I stood amazed as to where we've been and how far God has brought us and the blessed things He has taught us. In the back of one particular journal I found where I had taken notes while reading the book, 'The Shack' (I know, it's one of those controversial reads however the Lord used that book to enlighten me to lots of things...). One quote I wrote down while reading it was, "Who wants to worship a God who can be fully comprehended?" Little did I know, Oswald's devotion would center around that very thing this morning.


"The woman said to Him, 'Sir, You have nothing to draw [water] with, and the well is deep'" John 4:11

When it comes to confronting Jesus Christ on the basis of His qualities and abilities, our attitudes reflect religious superiority. We think His ideals are lofty and they impress us, but we believe He is not in touch with reality--that what He says cannot actually be done. Each of us thinks this about Jesus in one area of our life or another. These doubts and misgivings about Jesus begin as we consider questions that divert our focus away from God. Or our misgivings begin within ourselves when we tell Jesus that our circumstances are just a little too difficult for Him. We say, "It's easy to say, 'Trust in the Lord,' but a person has to live; and besides, Jesus has nothing with which to draw water--no means to be able to give us these things." If we are honest, we will admit that we never have misgivings or doubts about ourselves, because we know exactly what we are capable or incapable of doing. But we do have misgivings about Jesus.

My misgivings arise from the fact that I search within to find how He will do what He says. My doubts spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, I should bring them into the light and confess them openly--"Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it."

~Oswald Chambers

The question that was brought to my remembrance from 'The Shack' and then this devotion today made my heart stir simply because this is an area that the Lord has been doing a refining work in our home...specifically in one individual. The area of, "If I can't see it...If I can't understand it...If I can't grasp the "how" it's all going to work out...If I can't analyze the situation/circumstance to the point of having a "mental picture"...If I can't wrap my mind around it, then I'm not sure I can accept, receive it or believe it.

I'm reminded that it all goes back to trusting...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5~6

All of this has brought me to the question of, "What have I not been believing God for? Where have I questioned that the absence of His "bucket" means He can't draw water of provision for me? Where have I allowed doubt to supersede God's sovereignty and power? Why do I blanket every situation with the way one specific situation was answered and provided for?"


My heart is still stirring...My heart is lacking...God is greater than I can even begin to think or imagine and I will never fully realize His infinite power. There is no way I can wrap my mind around what He can do and what He will do if I simply will believe therefore I lay down my weapons, my ideas and my understanding and replace them with a bucket full of trust! I may not understand, but He is God and I am not...I WILL BELIEVE!

He is able, more than able
to accomplish what concerns me today.
He is able, more than able
to handle anything that comes my way.
He is able, more than able
to do much more than I can ever dream.
He is able, more than able
to make me what He wants me to be.

What are you believing God for this day?