Who I Am...

Many moments of my day-to-day life, I simply sit & reflect. Not always sitting but always reflecting... I find myself thinking, considering & examining the reality of this life that God has given me...and entrusted me to live.

A wife...
A mom...
A child of His.

A daughter...
A sister...
A child of His.

A friend...
An acquaintance...
A child of His.

A sister-in-Christ...
To some, simply a person...
A child of His.

I, as well, know that to some I am an annoying burr who is a constant source of irritation & discomfort. I would be in a grave state of denial if I didn't acknowledge the fact that some people simply don't care for me... But is it me, myself, that they are appalled by? Or is it who I am?

The shell?
Or the person?

As I think about it all...the roles listed at the start, I am reminded of something I have heard my dad say a multitude of times in sermons from behind the pulpit & even most recently,

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"

Although I've heard that question more times than I can count, this time around has had me doing much thinking & considering...

What do I see?
Who do I see?
What am I looking at?

The Holy Spirit has compelled me to examine further...

When I look in the mirror do I look only at the physical image...

Or at the spiritual as well? 

Which do I most examine? 

Do I even look past the surface...past the flesh of my face & the state of my hair?

I will admit that upon considering the questions above, my main reason & motive for looking in the mirror is to examine the physical. To evaluate the hair... What do I do with it today? To determine the skin... Cover it or leave it bare? To conclude whether I am presentable for public appearance... Yes, no, make adjustments. Of course this isn't what my dad was proposing when he posed the question, "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" yet personally, from my side of answering, it never moves past the physical when I stand before that piece of glass & gaze upon the reflection before me. But as I have pondered upon this discovery, the Holy Spirit has compelled me to examine further...

Do I look myself in the eyes...
And examine what is beneath?

In Matthew 6:22 it says, 

'The light of the body is the eye: 

if therefore thine eye be single, the whole body shall be full of light.'

What resides past the physical?
What dwells under the surface?
What is present in the inner places?

Light?
Darkness?

Understanding?
Indifference?

Do I contrive to return the glory to Christ or to honor myself?

Compassion?
Condemnation?

Humility?
Pride?

Do I simply look for the assurance of Christ or to the applause of men?

Quietness?
Whisperings?

Gentleness?
Rigidity?

Do I strive to walk in meekness as Christ did or do I attain to point prove?

Submission?
Control?

Love?
Disgust?

Am I courageous enough to "go there"?
Am I humble enough to acknowledge the rawness of reality once I arrive?

Am I the former or the latter? All too often, if I am honest, although I may attempt to display the former, the latter is what truly resides. In time, the faux can no longer be disguised. Even if man can't see, God does & so do I.

What does it take to see past the image in the mirror?
To see past the surface...
To see past the flesh...
To see further than the shell that carries who I am around?

The hair & the skin & the limbs are simply a vehicle by which my spirit is seen. Those components aren't who I am...my spirit is who I am. The inner man is who I am.

As I thought & prayed about this, the Lord placed on my heart Petra's song, 'Take Me In'...
Take me past the outer courts...into the holy place;
Past the brazen altar...to see the Lord's face;
Past the crowds of people & the priests who sing His praise...to the righteousness of Jesus.

Take me past...
Take me in...
To satiate the hunger & thirst for Jesus that writhes within me. For it's not found in the outer area but the inner, intimate places.

The temple or the tabernacle themselves weren't Jesus, Himself, they were simply His dwelling place. His place of residence. Therefore if I merely look upon the structure, I will fail to see the depth & the height...the richness & the glory...the wisdom & the grace. I will fail to see His beauty & I will never know the redemption of His salvation. It's moving past the tangible in order to see & understand that which gave all He had in order to rescue me from the dominion of darkness.

So who am I?

What lies past my shell? The surface? The flesh? My structure? For what lies past is what drives my every action, word, decision.

What lies past is who I am.

Just like Jesus isn't a concrete structure, I am not merely a shell of flesh.

Going deeper & considering all of this sharpens me to intentionally & genuinely examine my heart. To see what Jesus sees. To be real with myself. To acknowledge where the latter overshadows & trumps the former. To take those things & those areas & those attributes that mar my inward reflection of Christ & place them at his feet. To seek Scripture for instruction to correct that which mars & to search for tools to equip & empower me to emulate Him all the more.

Love... Joy... Peace... Long-suffering... Gentleness... Goodness... Faith... Meekness... Temperance...

Love... Joy... Peace... Patience... Kindness... Goodness... Faithfulness... Gentleness... Self-Control...

Regardless of how you word it, describe it or display it, the reflection is Jesus.

And it doesn't matter what role I am walking in...whether I am being a wife or a mom, a daughter or a sister, a friend or an acquaintance, a sister-in-Christ or simply a person, who I am should never fail to show forth Jesus. In both the spiritual and the physical for the physical typically follows the lead of the spiritual.

I want my whole body to be full of light...the light of Jesus.

The light of the body is the eye;

if therefore thine eye be single, the whole body shall be full of light.

~Matthew 6:22~

And my eyes will show forth how bright or how dim I am allowing that Light to shine.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Who do you see?

So Is God's Correction To Me...A Sign That He Loves Me...

I check the blog...
Five months passed...
Five months & one day.

How do the days trickle by & the months pass so quickly? 

Happy April! 🌷

A few weeks back I told both MaKayla & Mal that the only thing I wanted for Mother's Day was for the outdated blog to be updated. That's it. That's all. Nothing else. And if you're visiting for the first time in awhile, you can tell that they jumped right on my request. Working together... Side-by-side... And after a few long days... It was done & I was thrilled. ♥ Fresh pictures. Unnecessary components removed. A new music play list. The previous one kept throwing errors & playing advertisements which was something that drove me loony so, after much research, we decided it was worth a small monthly expense to create our own list of sounds that we regularly listen to here at home & make it available to you in yours. :) If only I could provide flickering candlelight as well... :) We'd like you to try it & let us know what you think... Unlike the one before, you will need to click the play button in order for it to produce sound rather than it automatically playing. As well, if you desire to listen from your phone, you will need to download a Spotify app.

It's hard to compile life's happenings over the past five months... So many happenings. So much learning. Innumerable experiences & a plethora of lessons. In it all & through it all God keeps teaching & correcting & guiding & strengthening... Grace upon grace. ♥ Daily instruction laced with His continual, unconditional presence. For such, my heart is inexplicably grateful.

I will share that after much prayer & consideration, the Lord repetitively showed me & faithfully confirmed in my heart that He wanted my word for the year of 2017 to be...

HUMILITY.

As I look back on the last post that I put together before such a lapse, I find that the word He so specifically placed on my heart, mirrors the very thing He was preparing to instill within me. Preparation. Preparation without me even fully realizing.

As I continue on, day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, I see God affording me opportunities to learn a new depth of a virtue I only remotely understood & minutely grasped. Sure, I knew what it was & what it meant, but knowing what it is & means is quite different than applying it & living it out. One is an idea, the other becomes a reality. One is considering, the other owning. One is entertaining, the other being intentional. Not giving self the option to dismiss, suppress or ignore. God seeing the truth & rawness of our hearts seems as a double-edged sword... The discomfort of correction yet the freedom that comes when that which needed correcting is clearly seen for what it is... That which was contaminating is as dross being skimmed.

Initial discomfort superseded by freedom.

Truly, I'm just incredibly thankful that God loves me to the degree that He corrects me & invests in refining my being in order that I can be more of a reflection of Christ. He reveals & discloses to my heart those things that impede me from being salt & light to others... Those areas of life that I fall short in bringing Him glory whether that be my countenance, my responses, my attitude. Just like a parent to child, so is God's correction to me...a sign that He loves me & desires something better. ♥ Never see correction from God as negative or unloving or shameful... Absolutely the opposite of all three...

Correction shows:
♥ Favor
♥ Care
♥ Affirmation

It shows that He has something more...
It reveals that what I am lacking, He wants to provide.

It shows that He has wisdom...
It reveals that where I am ignorant, He has the means to tutor.

It shows that He is Lord...
It reveals that when I am stubborn, He summons submission.

I wonder why we always correlate correction with an adversary...

He is not my enemy...He is my Savior.

And not just mine, but yours as well... ♥

My intention now that things are up-to-date with the playlist functioning properly, is to do more blogging here & less on Facebook. Short, simple things there...more in-depth sharings here. :)

Life is well for us...busy, but well. Kyle is working much overtime & Mal has been diligent beyond explanation with her studies. I see so much change in both of their hearts as what both of them once dreaded & abhorred, they both have learned to appreciate & find purpose in. ♥ Blessing upon blessing. ♥

Due to God extending an opportunity, Dillon & MaKayla have recently relocated. It's further from us however Kyle & I see so much purpose in what God asked & instructed them to do & for a parent, seeing your children take uncertain steps of faith as a means to obey, there is truly no greater reality. We still see them regularly & FaceTime daily & have even spent a night with them. Such a blessing they are to our lives...

~Never a dull moment...

~Ever.

~Learning the Keurig...

~Latte goodness...

~Enjoying coffee together...♥

(Mal was present but was currently getting around for church when all of these were snapped...)

I'm super excited to be back "home" in my blog & am eager to share with you, not only the happenings of our lives, but most importantly the goodness & grace of Christ.

Much love...