Meanderings...

This morning I have so many wonderful things floating through my mind that I just go from one happy moment to another. It's a reality of blessedness after the roller-coaster the past few weeks have been...

♥MaKayla has been quite the busy bee running from one responsibility to another. Kyle & I have been very vigilant in protecting her from burn-out in her teenage/high school/growing up years. We have always felt that "adulthood" would come soon enough & we didn't want to "burden" her with the weight of that any sooner than was necessary. Although I've been confident in that decision over the years, I would admit that I have wondered how God would open doors in order for her to learn responsibility outside of her dad & I as well as outside of our home. Just like God, He has been faithful to bless her with multiple opportunities over the past months, weeks & days. It's been such a blessing to see her "step up" & "step out". Mal has been able to accompany her in some of her adventures which has been neat to see as well!

♥The weather where we live has been extremely HOT the past several days/weeks. Much to Mal & I's dismay, Kyle betrayed blessed us & turned the air on last week. MaKayla HATES to sweat yet Mal & I love the HEAT! We love the windows open, the song of the birds, the breeze whisping the curtains but in all realness, the humidity makes Kyle c-r-a-n-k-y... He would very willingly admit it so he won't care that I share it!!! :)

♥We've been enjoying produce from the garden since it won't be long & the plants most definitely will be burnt to a crisp. Repeated 90-100 degree days with absolutely no rain leaves things thirsty & withering.

♥The reality that we only have to purchase curriculum for one child this year still hasn't completely set in & I'm not sure if it's because I haven't given much thought to the idea or if it's because I suppress it when it does. MaKayla says she's ordering something regardless of the fact that she is graduated. She can't stand the thought that the Rainbow order would arrive & her "stack" would contain nothing but emptiness... I'm right there with her...

♥I conquered my first day of a sugar fast yesterday & it felt wonderful! I've realized time & again over the past several weeks how much sugar makes me feel N-A-S-T-Y. One day when I was feeling less than desirable, the Lord said, "Why do you repeatedly do things to yourself when you know what the consequences are gonna be?" That's all the motivation I needed to cut the sugar! You know it's bad when the thought of putting fru-fru stuff in your coffee nearly makes you gag... Blech! So. Long. Sugar.

♥Learning seems to be the focus of life for me right now. The Holy Spirit has laid several things on my heart & in my lap to learn from/about & I. Am. Loving. It. Hindsight says I was a crummy student in school because of all the distractions. I'm finding that I could very easily be a full-time student...especially when it is in regard to how I can be a better wife, mom & child of the King. I'm being challenged & it is exhilarating to my spirit!

 ♥I had a little big meltdown Tuesday evening when I received a text from my dad that began like this, "Hi Sweetie. Need you to be praying for the bike..." That's where I stopped reading... My brain went into freeze mode... My heart dropped to my stomach... My mind started imagining the worst... The floodgates of my tear-storehouse opened & I cried... Dad & Mom are on a bike trip to one of the coasts (remember, I did crummy in school) & when I read that Dad wanted me to pray for their Harley, I immediately went into panic mode imagining that they had had an accident... After I settled down & finished the text, Dad asked me to pray as the bike was making some loud/strange/unidentifiable noise & the nearest Harley dealer couldn't work them in for maintenance. I text my sister. I called my brother. "Did Dad call you? Did Dad text you? Do you realize what this could mean???? Especially with 100+ heat...If stranded,  Mom could stroke out... The bike could just quit... I'm NOT okay with this..." Dad reassured me that they would be fine & he just needed me to pray & trust. That is what I have been doing... When he called last night to let me know that after a 10+ hour day yesterday, they were safely in Salt Lake City for the night, all I could do was PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

♥Although I do miss the girls tremendously when they are away, I can't tell you how much the quietness & alone time with Jesus every morning this week has refreshed my spirit.Something I was very much in need of.

♥After a stint with blatant laziness, 5:00 mornings took up residence in my life again this week! Painful yet wonderful! I am one who, although it's like pulling teeth to pry my rear out of bed, I function so much better when I am up & going well before MaKayla & Mal emerge! It also gives Kyle & I an opportunity to chat, visit & spend time together before "duty calls" & he has to leave for work. Less sleep but I will admit, I have more energy & my attitude is SO MUCH BETTER!!!

 ♥I am SO GLAD that Kyle's place of employment is on four-day work weeks for the next three months! That means today is his last day this week! I so love having three-day weekends with him!

Now off to enjoy the rest of my quiet morning with Jesus! Thanks for stopping by for a quick chat! ♥

It. Was. Wonderful.

Absent.
That's what I've been.
Absent.

Today was Kyle's second day back to normal work after having nearly two weeks here at home with us girls. His place of employment had an eleven-day-shutdown/vacation which we had greatly been looking forward to but then the Sunday before that was to start, his only living grandma passed away which put him off of work two days earlier than everyone else. Although we were saddened by the circumstances, we loved having the additional two days with him.

Still trying to catch up from MaKayla's graduation, we decided that we would use this time to stay home, relax & just be together. It. Was. Wonderful. We went very few places & did very few things. Our goal was to conserve money and invest in one another every moment of every day. We did and... It. Was. Wonderful.

We spent much time in the pool...

We pitched the tent in the backyard & slept under the stars (and moon)...

We cooked over the fire pit. (Kyle did. The girls & I watched. :)...

We studied God's Word together...

We relished in God's beauty...

We worked in the garden...

We celebrated a life well lived...

We enjoyed quiet time on the patio over cinnamon rolls & a good cup of coffee...

We shot off some fireworks...

We spent time with cousins...

We loved being with family...

We celebrated a birthday...

We simply loved life...
We loved one another...
We loved God...

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Through this shutdown time, the Lord has really been speaking to Kyle & I about various things. To be honest, it's been a tough "season" for Kyle... As many of you can relate, specific circumstances & situations have a tendency to "resurface" past pain... Past memories... Past heartache... Past trials...

The past...

We want to ignore it.
We want to suppress it.
We want to deny that which we need to face.
We just want to move on with life & not look back...

Sometimes that's fruitful...
Yet sometimes...
Sometimes it withholds healing...
Sometimes it prevents resolve...
Sometimes it keeps us prisoner to ourselves...

23 years ago Kyle lost a cousin who was also his very best friend...
Kyle was only one day older...
Their birthdays were the same year...
One day apart...

Same class in school...
Same interests...
Same hometown...

A very painful season-of-life for Kyle for many reasons...

It just so happens that the cemetery we laid his grandma's body to rest in is the same cemetery he laid his cousin to rest in as well...

23 years ago...

We don't go visit...
He doesn't speak of it...
It's painful...
It resurfaces things, memories, self-worth, emotions, loss that is easier ignored...
Until...
Until the Lord says,
"Now is the time."
"Today is the day."
"This is the season.""
"Surrender."
"Run. To. Me."

We simply can't have freedom over an area of life we can't bring ourselves to face.
We won't find courage to be who God desires us to be when we deny what we feel.
We will fail to be victorious if we bury the reality of who we see ourselves as.

God's Word is Truth.
That's the hopeful reality...
We must walk in who He says we are...

It has been a wonderful shutdown but a painful one at that.

There have been mountains.
There have been valleys.

There has been laughter.
There have been tears.

There has been conflict.
There has been resolve.

With God on our side, it's ALL good!
Minute-by-minute...
Day-by-day...
Healing is manifested.
Life is regenerated.
We are one day closer to Jesus.
I simply can't imagine life without Him...

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.

 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:1,5