I will prewarn you from the get-go that I have no idea how this post will turn out. The Lord reminds me of self-control and the place that it is to have in my life so I will do my best to convey my feelings in truth yet in love. After all, blogging is a means to spill out what is settling on the heart and mind...it's about being real.
Last night was the night for the bi-weekly accountability group to meet that I am a part of. 99.9% of the time I walk away from these times of fellowship encouraged, compelled and with a fresh sense of how I can best pray for the sisters-in-Christ who gather and share. Last night I walked away sharpened, burdened and stretched. I have spent the past 12 plus hours searching, seeking, praying, examining... I walked away being thankful for friends who are real with their own struggles yet who love me enough to say, "That really surprises me to hear you say that after the extensive study you just went through." That comment from someone who I have come to deeply love and appreciate has caused me to really humble myself, fall on my face before the Lord and examine my heart. I am thankful for one who loves me enough and cares for me enough to test me and keep me in check.
As I've thought about this, I have been reminded of two other instances in the past week or so that I have been involved in. One instance where I was put in the position of choosing to correct a close friend where an inadvertent mistake had been made and then an instance where I had made an inadvertent mistake and an individual chose to make that mistake publicly known. As I have reflected on all three of these situations a great deal of light has been shed.
Instance #1... In the situation a week or so ago, I had the choice of correcting the friend and making their mistake known even though I knew the mistake was inadvertent (unintentional). I knew they would eventually figure out what they had done and they did. They figured it out without me pointing it out or telling them yet they asked me, "Why didn't you tell me...?" I explained that nothing drives me crazier than when someone feels the need to correct someone else in order to cover their own insecurities...especially when the mistake really doesn't matter and that in time it will be corrected. Believe me, I recognize this because I used to be one of those people who felt the need to correct. (FYI...it wasn't a moral/spiritual/integrity issue...)
Instance #2... I will not go into alot of detail on this one for I don't want to bash or hurt feelings yet an inadvertent mistake (unintentional) mistake was made on my part and I am thankful it was brought to my attention, I am just sorry for the way it was approached. I am thankful that the Lord afforded me this situation for it was a vivid reminder of who I once was yet who I never again desire to revert to being. (FYI...it wasn't a moral/spiritual/integrity issue and I did correct myself to those who were directly involved.)
Instance #3... Last night's meeting and a sister-in-Christ saying, "That really surprises me..." As Kyle and I talked about it this morning, I shared with him how I knew this friend wasn't questioning me per se, she was just, in love, keeping me in check. There was no spirit of animosity or ridicule or "correction", it was in a spirit of, "Are you sure about what you are saying...?" A spirit of true accountability.
I found this excerpt this morning and I thought it was fantastic...
In spiritual accountability a truly concerned believer doesn’t just ask questions and then remain uninvolved in the changing process. Accountability leads into discipleship. The whole process is asking a friend the hard questions and then helping each other to walk in the victory Christ offers. Real, biblical accountability is beneficial for both the asker and the receiver. On the receiving end, it’s difficult to admit weakness, yet it is the first step in true change. None of us like the idea of someone asking about our progress in areas of struggle. It’s easier to just hide behind a mask of superficial spirituality.The process of accountability also helps the confronter. If done biblically, the person addressing the need must go in a spirit of meekness, knowing that he is very capable of sinning in the same way or some other way but equally in violation of God’s holiness (Gal. 6:1). This humility is a beautiful part of growth into Christlikeness. True accountability is not only helpful because of its reciprocal nature but also because of the mutual study in Scripture to get God’s mind on an issue. Studying Scripture together is always beneficial.
Knowing the benefits of accountability doesn’t give us carte blanche authority to address people in any way we choose. The Bible has much to say about the manner in which we communicate. In the process of accountability, our words must be carefully chosen and wisely delivered.
The first step in the accountability process is to ask good questions. I’ve often heard it said that “questions convict the conscience; accusations harden the will.” Christ used more than 100 questions even in what is recorded in the Gospels. In accountability, you need to be willing to ask the hard questions. People aren’t likely to tear off their masks without being pushed with penetrating questions. Open-ended questions are normally best to stimulate deep conversation.
I am so thankful that in any and every situation in life God gives us the opportunity to learn, grow and be reminded. He also gives us the choice to be angry, hurt, bitter and resentful. One produces fruit. One produces bondage. I am thankful for these three encounters that I have been afforded. Through them:
*God reaffirms the work He is doing in my life which compels me to persevere...
*He gives me a glimpse of the picture of disgrace of the person I once was which reminds me of who I never want to become again...
*I am filled with joy for those He has brought into my life to spur me on...
Preach the Word;
be prepared in season and out of season;
correct, rebuke and encourage--
with great patience and careful instruction.
2 Timothy 4:22
P.S.) Thank you to the three ladies that I had the blessing of meeting with last night. It may have been a "heavy" night but it was a good, fruitful and insightful night in Jesus. It's compelled me to do a great deal of soul-searching.
