Bankrupt On Time...

So many times I find myself asking, "Where did the time go? Where has the time gone? How did another week get by me? Can the weekend be over already?"

The other morning as I was making Kyle & I's bed, my mind was buzzing with all of the things that needed to get done, that had failed to get done, that were hovering over me like a black looming storm cloud. In that moment, the Lord ever so gently spoke into my ear, "Mendi, why are you always so bankrupt on time? Have I not set the days and weeks into place according to My will? Have I not given you sufficient time to get those things accomplished that are yours to do? Why are you always weighed down with what is yet left to do? Are you doing things I have not instructed? Have you committed to things I have not ordained you to do? Are you being a good steward of your time?"

I've thought alot about this conversation that the Lord had with me about a week ago...

It's really left me thinking... Pondering... Considering... Analyzing...

Again this morning as I was reading out of the book of Exodus the concept of time was reaffirmed in my heart. Moses assembled the whole Israelite community and said to them, "These are the things the Lord has commanded you to do: For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the Lord. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death. Do not light a fire in any of your dwellings on the Sabbath day."

Why does there never seem to be enough time?

Why am I always hurrying, scurrying and keeping an eye on the clock?

Why am I inevitably thinking of what is next on my list to do rather than enjoying the task at hand?

Why does it seem that I continually come up short?

God has given me ample time to accomplish that which He instructs me to do. It's all the little distractions... It's all the extra commitments... It's the lack of priorities... It's failing to give Him the firstfruits of my day... It's falling short of simplicity... It's choosing to hang onto my agenda...

Most people think of bankruptcy in reference to money but could it mean time as well?

These are all things I am praying over...

I realize that the fault is all mine...
I am thankful there is resolve...
I am grateful that God will show me...
I am humbled by His grace...
I rejoice that as I seek, listen and obey I will discover the abundance of time!

Repenting...
Letting go...
Realigning...
Putting Him first...
Choosing simplicity rather than complexity...
Disciplining the flesh in order to follow the Spirit...

Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul...
Thank you, Lord, for making me whole...
Thank you, Lord, for giving to me...
Thy great salvation so rich and free...

It Makes All The Difference...

Sunday ~ An unsettled spirit the majority of my day... A heavy spirit in which the Lord said, "Pray... Pray... Pray..." An evening of AMAZING and INTIMATE worship to the Lord...


Monday ~ A painful, draining, intense and weighted visit with someone I love deeply... A visit where much was talked about but nothing profound was accomplished... A visit that grieved me... A visit that only by God's grace was I able to speak the truth in love all the while refraining from becoming anxious.... A visit that for once in my life, I KNEW that I was settled in who I am in Christ and how our family lives, functions and abides in Christ... A visit where I wasn't rattled, shaken or vulnerable... A visit that was changed half-way-through by a phone call from a friend that I love with every fiber of my being... A friend that I have prayed for and longed for for so many years... A friend that God has so richly blessed me with... Letting me know that the biopsy was positive... That the results showed the big, ugly, unwanted "C" word... A reality I feared... A day filled with many tears... A day I won't soon forget... A day I saw God work in me and through me in miraculous ways... A day that I was weak but He was incredibly strong...


Tuesday ~ Woke feeling "removed"... Heavy... Prayerful... Knowing I had a long list of things to get done but lacking the motivation to move... I somewhat wandered from thing-to-thing-to- thing... A quick trip to town with my girls renewed my perspective... A trip of laughter, music and fellowship... A trip that brought me out of the dungeon and into the light... An afternoon of tomatoes, tomatoes and more tomatoes resulting in lots of yummy salsa for the winter... An afternoon with MaKayla & Mal in the kitchen... Peeling... Chopping... Stirring... Just being together... Having My Man come home from work and greet me with a hug, kiss and "Oh, I'm so happy to be home with you..." A relaxing evening with Kyle & the girls... Including supper on the patio... An evening ended with a blessed, rich and precious facebook message from a friend... A seasoned friend... A friend who knows me like most don't... A message that was a TOTAL surprise... A message that I needed... A message that showered my day with everything YELLOW and HAPPY...


Wednesday ~ Woke being reminded of the Lord that when He shows Himself to me in miraculous and amazing ways... When He uses our children to be His hands and feet to my life... When He allows rich and seasoned friends to shower my day with HAPPINESS...

It makes all the difference...

Now I desire to make that difference in someone else today...

Thank you God for all things good!
You are amazing...
You are wonderful...
You.are.God!

We Were A Family...

It has been such a fun day for Kyle, MaKayla, Mal & I as we took a fun little family road trip... The company that Kyle works for hosted their company picnic at an amusement park in a city a few hours from here that I used to visit nearly every year as a child and where Kyle celebrated his bachelor party. This is the first time that either of our girls have been there so it was an all new and eye-opening experience for them!


Not long after we left, Kyle realized that he forgot his hat at home so we had to stop along the way and do a little shopping. In the process, I mentioned how much I was craving a cinnamon roll so he pulled in to a quaint little coffee shop that Mom, Marci and I visit annually when we go Christmas shopping & got the four of us two monstrous cinnamon rolls to share, MaKayla a requested caramel-fudge hot chocolate and he & I a turtle cappuccino topped with whipped cream, caramel and chocolate syrup! Yum-oh!!! God truly gave me the most amazing gift when He predestined Kyle to be my husband...not just for what he does for me or how thoughtful he is to me or the incredible way he loves me but simply because of who he is!!! He's incredible! ♥


After we savored our yummy treats and arrived at our destination, we studied the park map for a bit and jumped on the first attraction that caught our eye. MaKayla gets extremely motion sick and I am TERRIFIED of roller coasters so we kept pretty low scale. Twisting his arm, Kyle would admit that as he grows in years, his sensitivity to rolling, twisting, rising and descending experiences at optimum speeds greatly intensifies, yet Mal had never ridden a roller coaster so...!!!


I was certain that Mal would opt for the "chicken exit" before climbing into the ride and honestly down deep that was what I was hoping for. As I saw them leave the track I told MaKayla, "I would rather be going in for surgery than turning my baby and my man loose on such dangerous craziness..." Of course, she just laughed at me and said, "Oh, Mom, they'll be fine. Re~lax..." Kyle tried to get Mal to raise her hands as they were about to take their first intense downward dive however she was far too apprehensive and wisely chose to keep all limbs inside the car. Good girl!!! Momma's so proud of you!! Mal described the ride this way, "Mom, the roller coaster went so fast that it stretched my face out!" She concluded that although it was fun, she thought she'd stay closer to ground for the remainder of our time there.

(Yes, Kyle & Mallary are actually in this picture...)

It was an extremely hot day and after several hours, Mallary decided that she had taken all the heat she could handle. We were walking on hot, black asphalt with multitudes of people bumping into each other and the temperature registering at 95 not including the heat index. One word describes what we were feeling...MISERABLE!!! By the time we made the trek back to the van she was nearly unfunctionable.


Throughout our day the girls repeatedly thanked us for being willing to take them to this event and then on the way home, MaKayla sincerely thanked Kyle & I for teaching and instructing she and Mal the attribute of modesty. In an atmosphere such as the one we were in, you see anything imaginable...literally!!! Pure sweetness... Amazing richness... Divine blessedness... No greater gift than when your children see, understand and desire to honor and glorify the Lord even when it means going against the ebb & flow of what is condoned & popular in our society.


All-in-all it was a fantastic day!! We walked together, laughed together, shopped together, ate together, talked together and shared new experiences together... Although it was an out-of-the-norm day compared to our typical activities, we weren't any different than we usually are...we were a family! ♥


God's blessings are so rich and I am so very thankful! ♥

Reflecting On My Week... Friday Faves

I'm linking up with Rachel at finding joy to reflect on my week and share some of the greatest moments, gifts and blessings that the Lord has afforded me over the past several days...

Having a hot cup of tea/coffee with My Man at 5:30 a.m...
Our time together is always incredibly precious...


Laughing, sharing & catching up with seasoned, tried-&-true friends...





Talking with our girls about the fear that grips us most...
...discovering what their greatest fears are...
...so that together we can be MORE than conquerors in Christ Jesus...


Sitting multiple hours on our monstrous mower...
reflecting on life...
praying for those on my heart...
listening to divine instruction...
repenting of revealed sin...


Seeing, hugging & loving on Tucker...
(it had been over two weeks)



Spending an evening alone at home with Kyle last night...

~He cooked me steak & baked potatoes on the grill~
~Encouraged me to take a short power nap~
~We sat on the patio & visited in the cool evening~
~Took a nice, quiet, leisurely walk~
~Shared some chocolate ice cream~


Watching Mallary take part in being on the Worship Team for the first time...



Enjoying a good cup of coffee over a nice visit with my mom...


A refreshing, peaceful & encouraging lunch & visit with a very dear friend...
~We shared:
*struggles
*triumphs
*homeschool life
*accountability
*laughter
*tears
*THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE TRYING US TO THE CORE...


Relishing lots of needed, nourishing & necessary time with my Jesus...



It's been a really great week and I give God praise for each & every moment He has afforded me to live, breathe & have my being...

Thanks Rachel for letting me hop on and join in on your Friday Faves...
It's been fun...

Fear...

A few thoughts that have been spinning through my mind today...

What do I fear the most?

In humility am I willing to acknowledge and confess that which I fear?

Does what I fear most, interfere with my day-to-day process of life?

Is that fear being imposed on my family?

Are my children "learning" the reality of that fear?

Do I believe the great and mighty God that I serve can conquer that fear?

Can I catch the vision of what freedom would look like if I allow the Lord to bring healing and deliverance from the fear that grips the core of my being?

-fear-
*a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, ect.,
whether the threat is real or imagined;
*the feeling or condition of being afraid;
*concern or anxiety;
*solicitude

As I went about my morning, the Lord revealed to me the deliverance He is working in my life regarding a fear that has riveted me for many, many years. A fear that has crippled me. A fear that has held me captive. Something that would be very insignificant to most people yet very real and gripping to me.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,
being afraid can so immobilize you that you can't move to solve the very problems that are causing you to fear.

Franklin D. Roosevelt's First Inaugural Address
March 4, 1933

Profound words... Been there... Done that... For far too long!

The past five weeks for me have been life transforming... My God is leading me out of the pasture of fear into the land of freedom! He is calling me to step out in courage and trust His power, protection and provision! He is bringing freedom and deliverance into my life and I am unexplainably grateful!

I sought the Lord, and He answered me;
He delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4