I.Will.Remember.

It's a quiet evening here tonight.
The moon shines brightly from where I sit.
David Nevue is playing on the stereo.
Supper is warming in the oven.
Laundry is being washed & more waiting to be folded.
I'm the only one home at the present moment.
A rare occasion.
One I savor, when the opportunity arises.

At last things have slowed down & I.can.breathe.
Finally all the hustle & bustle of Christmas is past.
The presents are unwrapped.
Our decorations are taken down & neatly stored away until next year.
The house & our lives have returned to simplicity.
We are back to somewhat of a healthy eating pattern.
Having Kyle here at home is bliss.

The past week for me has been so full.
So good.
So special.
So enriching.
For 36 continual hours, we were with my side of the family.
Eating.
Laughing.
Swimming.
Playing.
Visiting.
Sharing.
Loving.
Remembering Aunt Renee'...

Being together was so good.
So wonderful.
So fulfilling.
So healing.
I miss each of them so much.

I'm thankful for pictures...
I'm thankful for memories...
I'm thankful for the gift of their lives.

As I have thought so much about this Christmas season, my heart is convicted. So much time that I spent on the "preparations"...rather than on the Person. Where my focus was somewhere other than on Jesus... The other evening as I was praying & reflecting, God ever so gently said to my heart, "Who are you kidding? You say that Jesus is the Reason, but do you live as though you speak? You do all of this in His name yet has He really been your focus? What about the days that you started early & ended late...weary, worn & depleted of joy?" He was right. I wasn't even going to attempt to justify. My heart was sorry. I repented. Next year, I.Will.Remember.

My heart has been restful the past few days & in that rest, I have started looking towards the new year. I'm not a big one on new year's resolutions yet I do love the idea of a fresh start, a clean slate & a renewed vision. I'm praying about a "key" verse to focus on, a new word to purposefully walk in (last years was "extend") & various areas of my life that the Lord would have me to find healing, surrender & restoration in. The more I pray & meditate, the more hopeful I am & the more eager I find myself.

Kyle & the girls will be home soon, so supper preparations are awaiting me. I pray that this finds you restful, overflowing with peace & filled with hope as 2012 approaches its arrival.

Much love to each of you... ♥

"Come unto Me, all who are weary & heavy laden, & I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you, & learn from Me, for I am gentle & humble in heart;
& you shall find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy & my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28~30

The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Psalm 126:3

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm Looking At Jesus...

Today is the first day in nearly six-weeks that I truly feel as though I can "breathe". There has been so much chaos. There have been so many responsibilities. There has been an intense amount of turmoil. There have been numerous amount of preparations. The calendar has been full. It's literally been go here, go there, do this, do that... For the past six weeks, the second my mind is "with it", the order of my day has been reeling... The "To Do List" stacks in my mind... Knots begin to form... Stress begins to build... Anxiety peaks... Sure, I've been able to keep it "in check" but not without a cost.

A mental cost...(insanity)
A physical cost...(exhaustion, raw gut)
An emotional cost...(cranky, unstable)
A spiritual cost...(no time in God's Word/presence)

This morning I awoke & although I have much to get done today, I can breathe.

A dear & precious friend sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago in reference to some "junk" our family has been dealing with. The e-mail contained a devotion that spoke of Jesus & the disciples in the middle of the storm in the middle of the sea.
The disciples were afraid...stressed...anxious...worried.
Jesus, He was asleep.
Why?
The disciples had allowed the storm "to get inside of them".

You know, I will humbly admit that I myself have done the very same thing. The storms of life have controlled me...my emotions...my decisions...my perception...my walk...my time in God's Word. I've felt so overwhelmed that I haven't taken the time to stop and regroup. Instead, I've just kept going.

Today, I awoke, purposing to see Jesus rather than life.

No doubt some of the stuff we've had to face has been unpreventable yet that doesn't change the sovereignty & perfection of God.

No doubt some of the storms that have fallen down upon us have been out of our control but God is still on His throne & He promises to work ALL things for our good.

No doubt some of the "junk" that has been thrown at us seems menial & ridiculous however God has allowed it for a purpose & He desires that we allow Him to transform the "junk" into praise & glory for Him & Him alone.

He's sifting.
He's refining.
He's straining.
He's drawing me back to Himself.

It's a new day!
It's a new week!
Instead of seeing what's left to do,
I'm looking at Jesus.
What a glorious sight!

Aunt Renee... She Was...

Last weekend Kyle & I were able to get away for a few days to do our Christmas shopping. Typically this annual get-away is a relaxed, fun & exciting time together but this year we both had so much on our hearts & minds... It was still wonderful :) as we sat each morning & visited over a cup of coffee, got around for the day & then strolled through malls & stores yet our hearts were heavy. We talked through a lot of things that were weighing in on us, opened God's Word for direction, encouragement & wisdom & just relished in being together...alone!

Saturday morning as we were lining out the remainder of our time, I received a text from my mom that immediately indicated something wasn't right..."Call me"... It's not like Mom to be so pointed & abrupt so I immediately opened my phone & dialed her number. "They think that Aunt Renee' has had a heart attack... Uncle Randy called trying to reach Troy... The ambulance was called... They have life-flighted her... I will let you know when I know more..." We were two hours away in either direction... Two hours from Dad & Mom... Two hours from where Aunt Renee' was being flown... A feeling of helplessness to say the least.

Within an hour, Mom called back to say that this one I deeply loved had entered into the gates of Heaven... Into the presence of Jesus... Most probably a virus that directly affected her heart...

I wept...

This has been one of the hardest realities that I have ever had to face in my life... The loss of someone I loved with no real explanation... Not a car accident... Not cancer... Not sickness...

She was...
*young
*vibrant
*full-of-life
*overflowing with love
*the definition of joy
*as near perfect as one could be
*gracious
*kind
*beautiful
*always smiling
*angelic in nature...spiritually & physically
*the one who "introduced" me to "the city"
*the one who bought me my first pair of "high heels"...cork none-the-less...
*the one who applied my first lip gloss
*the one who gave the funnest Christmas presents
*the one who took me on vacation with their family

Aunt Renee'...
*never slept
*always gave
*never criticized
*loved her kids like no other mom I know
*adored children
*had a passion for horses
*literally glowed
*never complained
*very rarely got "worked up" about anything
*had the curliest hair & most beautiful dimples
*was simple
*was the definition of wonderful

(Aunt Renee' holding Mal/protecting her from Uncle Randy :)
on one of our many family cruises together.)

It's been a painful reality for our family to face yet God promises hope in the midst of heartache. He promises peace in the midst of trial. He promises strength when we are weak. He promises certainty even when we don't understand. He promises that He is sovereign when we are inclined to ask "why". He promises that He has a reason & purpose for ALL things. He promises that His ways & thoughts are higher than ours. He promises that His grace is sufficient. He promises that He will walk with us even through the darkest of nights. He promises Heaven for those who walk with Jesus. He promises life & life more abundant...

Remembering someone who has forever changed my life...
Remembering someone who I can learn much from...
Remembering a beautiful woman who I can only hope to emulate...

She has cast her crown at the feet of Jesus...
I can only imagine what her eyes behold...
I long for the day that I will one day meet her on the other side...

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

"It's Gonna Be Alright..."

It's been awhile, yes I know. I love blogging & totally miss it when time simply doesn't allow but to be honest, life has been crazy. I truly don't ever remember a season of life that has been as overwhelming, consuming & exhausting as the one I have been in for the past several weeks. School, family, Thanksgiving, saying final good-byes this side of heaven to ones we love, difficult decisions, Christmas preparations, church commitments, disheartening conflicts, a shopping trip or two, life... Intermingled in there have been a few threats of depression... You know, not wanting to get out of bed to face the day since there is so much to do & you won't deny the fact that there is no way it can/will all get done as well as that black cloud of what should have gotten done yesterday or a week ago that's still waiting... Several times I just wanted to crawl in a hole & say, "I surrender... I give up... I can't do it..." and then the Lord reminds me of His presence or an unexpected note of encouragement comes in the mail or a friend messages me on facebook or a specific scripture is brought to my remembrance or one of our beautiful daughters gives me a hug or Kyle sits me down, looks me in the eye and says, "It's gonna be alright..." It's a scary feeling when you start asking yourself, "Am I going c-r-a-z-y???" Is this really me?" The other day as I sat with my Bible open, my journal before me & my pen in hand, the Lord specifically spoke to my heart and said, "Mendi, if there is more to do in your day than you have time to get done, you've taken on more than what I've asked of you. You've taken on things that I didn't ask you to do. I will NEVER give you more to accomplish than what time I give you to accomplish it in. You need to evaluate. You need to prioritize. You need to scale down. You need to let go. Life is not a burden, it is a blessing. Life is not a yoke, it is freedom. Life is not drudgery, it is joy." It's time to refocus on simplicity...

The teapot is hot & I'm eager to start my day but first a few special moments from the past several weeks...

(Kyle & Mal searching on-line for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.)
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(Tuck...no other explanation needed other than PURE SWEETNESS...)
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(MaKayla's homemade biscuits...yum-oh!)
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(Friends...sisters...sisters-by-heart...M ♥ M ♥ M ♥ M ♥ )
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(Our awesome Pinterest creation that turned out perfect!)
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(Taste-testing the Pinterest creation...delish!)
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(Kyle creating his MU tie-blanket. So cozy!)
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(Love my girls... ♥ ♥ ♥ )
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(Science project with Dad...)
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(A special something, a special someone surprised me with for breakfast! ♥ )
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I have many pictures from Thanksgiving & Little Man's special birthday celebration yet they deserve their own post. :)

Be blessed today & remember to diligently seek God when allotting your every minute.
His plans may be very different than your own!
His plans define simplicity.
His plans bear fruit.
His plans bring freedom.
His plans are filled with JOY!

Love to each one who reads... ♥

Full To Overflowing...

It has been a crazy week to say the least and it seems that there has been no "window-of-time" for blogging, so as I awoke earlier than everyone else this morning, I decided to settle in a comfy place on the couch and let my heart spill over.

This week has been full to overflowing and there have been so many times in the past several days that my heart has cried, "It's too much! I just can't do a-n-y-m-o-r-e," yet the Lord has faithfully reminded me that His grace is sufficient and his strength is perfect. Now that it is Saturday, I've had a little rest, we have an uneventful weekend ahead and I can look back on the week, my heart is bursting at the seams. Even though school-work is still strewn across the dining room table and the house didn't get cleaned, I can say, "It was a full week but it was a great, fruitful, God week."

♥ Our home has been graced with cherished family, dear friends and beautiful toddlers.
♥ MaKayla, Mal and I tried our hands at making our first batch of homemade laundry soap.
♥ Many opportunities to minister to others have been graciously brought before us.
♥ Several hours of knitting have been accomplished.
♥ Christmas program preparations have been organized and reorganized.
♥ Numerous hours of study on natural healing, healthy eating and proper care of our internal bodies have filled my heart, mind and soul.
♥ CD's of quiet music have lingered in the air with a few Christmas songs here and there.
♥ Warm, fleece jammies have been our main wardrobe.
♥ Scriptures of encouragement have given us hope.
♥ Diligent minutes of school-work have increased our knowledge.
♥ Certain Christmas gifts have been completed.
♥ Candles have been burning.
♥ Homemade, whole-wheat runzas were a success.
♥ I was blessed to go on a Date Night with my most favorite man.
♥ God has been abundantly faithful!!!!
♥ And that most favorite man of mine just brought me a fresh cup of hot coffee!!!!

Even from afar, in the midst of this week, we celebrated a niece's birthday! :)

We remembered a special baby who was born lifeless, motionless, soundless... Brought into this world already ushered into the arms of Jesus... We remembered that season of life... We thought of his daddy & mommy...their faith...their courage...their testimony... We thanked God for precious Quinten.... We thanked God for His abundant grace through such a traumatic situation... We celebrated a life in Heaven...♥

We reminisced Kyle having a minor outpatient surgery one-year-ago, that resulted in a severe infection that landed him in the hospital for several days causing he and I to miss my family's Thanksgiving celebration. The more we reminisced, the more we found ourselves thankful, grateful, humbled by God's goodness and faithfulness in that situation, through that situation and now.

I have seen God's hand in a mighty way the past several days and I am blessed beyond adequate words. My heart's cry is that I will be found faithful with every opportunity that HE brings my way. Not busying myself with fruitless activity, but recognizing & discerning the lives, circumstances and situations that He desires to use me in. My heart's cry is that I will not grow weary in doing good and that I will find my strength in Jesus. My heart's cry is that I will be a good steward of the time, resources, love and wisdom that God has so graciously lavished upon my life...not hoarding them but using them for His glory. I desire to be completely surrendered and abandoned unto Him!

My most favorite man has his amazing waffles mixed up and sausage links perfectly browning... ♥
My precious 11 year-old is snuggled in next to me, knitting away... ♥
My blessed 17 year-old will soon be arising... ♥
My waffle is ready so I must go... ♥

It's gonna be a very good day to top off an amazingly wonderful week!

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, & His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary & increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired & weary, & young men stumble & fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run & not grow weary,
they will walk & not be faint.
~Isaiah 40:28-31

My Baby!

This beautiful woman that has her arms wrapped around me is my angel!! Today has been a day of missing her and her presence around me. I so love her with all that I am and feel such a void when she is gone. She is such a blessing from our Gracious Father...she is a mother, mentor, teacher, and caregiver to my girls. She is my best friend, support, prayer warrior, encourager, and bride. She is so much more than I acknowledge...there is not enough words to describe her, she gives and gives, never to ask or expect anything in return. She loves all of us so unconditionally, she is so selfless, and caring. Sometimes I just get lost in her beauty and gaze uncontrollably at her...I am a blessed man!

This day I acknowledge to say and proclaim that I LOVE YOU Baby! Thank you for your life and the Godly example you are for our girls...thank you for never giving up on me and for saying "YES" almost 21 years ago!

I love you beyond words! Proverbs 31: 10-28

Your Honey! Kyle

He Equips Me...

As I sat in a quiet room this evening listening to the soothing tunes of Jim Brickman, I found myself asking the question, "How does God see me? What is His perception of me in my day-to-day activities? Do I live up to the hopes and expectations He has on my life?" "Does He see me acting responsibly? Does He see me making wise decisions? Does He see an abundance of peace in my life or does He see anxiousness, confusion and discontentment?"

The more I thought about the specific reality of these questions, the more He reminded me that because of His grace, He equips me to walk in the hope & expectancy that He has for me. That's an amazing and encouraging promise for me.

Why do I shortchange His provision?
Why do I choose common-sense, familiar decisions rather than divine, responsible ones?
Why do I settle for less when there is so much more?
Is it because I simply fall into a "pattern"?
Is it because I don't think and pray before I decide?
Is it because a habit reigns, over purposing to do what God would expect/desire?

This may be in regard to:
*how I invest my time
*the way I spend my money
*what or how much I eat
*how I respond to those around me
*the way I care for the possessions that have been entrusted to me
*the way in which I fulfill my personal responsibilities
*how I react in trying, difficult and uncomfortable situations

Each day I am given the gift & freedom to choose...

I desire to live according to the hope and expectancy that God has for my life.

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back for the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. ~Hebrews 13:20~21

I Miss This Man...

I'll be honest, today has been a "down" day for me.

I really have no legitimate reason why.
The sun is shining.
Everyone in our family is amazingly healthy.
We have a warm home.
Food to eat.
Clothes to wear.
Cars to drive.

The reason I am down...

I miss this man...

Yeah, he'll be home before long, 40 minutes to be exact, but lately, I just miss him!
I miss his presence.
I miss his laughter.
I miss his touch.
I miss his smile.
I miss his scent.

10 hours a day is too long to be away from the one who holds your heart.

He is my everything and I thank God for him!

The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." Genesis 2:23

Today...

It's a cool, damp, rainy, cozy morning here. The first we've really had this fall.

Mal & I are here at home alone. MaKayla is away tending to a commitment that she had previously made. Thankfully she will be home soon!

With a chance of snow in the forecast later this afternoon/evening, Mallary begged and pleaded with me to play some "pre-Christmas" music and since I love it as much as she, I gave in! :) Peaceful Jim Brickman melodies fill the air.

I have a Yankee Pear Orchard candle burning here in the living room. MaKayla has a Christmas Cookie candle burning in her bedroom. Mal has a Hazelnut candle burning in her room. Scents of the coming holidays linger regardless of what part of the house we are in.

A fall Hometown Collection puzzle sits neatly completed and put together on the coffee table.

I'm thinking of putting a pot of soup on for lunch/supper. Mallary is quietly working on her History assignment.

The kettle sits on the stove with hot water waiting to be used... Mal is sipping hot-chocolate, I am sipping hot peppermint tea.

The only thing that would make my morning any more wonderful would be to have Kyle here at home with us! ♥ ♥ ♥

I am thankful for the gift of home...♥
I am thankful for the gift of those I love the most...♥

This Is Why...

This past weekend a tragic car accident happened in our area involving the lives of seven young people. Three died as a result of the accident, three were injured (two of them seriously), one walked away. Some of families affected we know personally, some we don't. Heartbreaking... Soul-riveting... Mind-boggling... Reality check...

We know that many people look at the way we are raising MaKayla & Mallary and wonder why we don't lighten up a little. Why we don't relax & enjoy the ride. Why we protect them the way that we do. Why we establish the boundaries that are in place. Why we don't let out the rope of freedom a little more. Why we are adamant about nurturing them in the ways of the Lord. Why we use EVERY opportunity, situation & circumstance as a means to teach, train and instruct. "Can you not just relax a little?"

The events of this past weekend is why. Choices were made and irreversible consequences are now the reality. Consequences that affect so many people.

It burdens me beyond words at how lightly some view what has happened. Yes they are upset, grieving and hurt, but have they learned anything from it. It's not a situation to just talk about, "get through" and then keep doing the same thing that caused the circumstances to begin with.

This is why we don't relax!
This is why we don't take parenting lightly!
This is why we don't view life as a playground!
This is why we don't encourage our kids to gamble with life!
It's not about fun and games...

Life is not a merry-go-round...
When you feel like riding, you hop on and, hey, when you feel like doing your own thing, you jump off.
God calls us to a life of faithfulness...
EVERY DAY...
As individuals...
As parents...

We get one chance to raise & nurture children who love God and follow hard after His will and desire for their lives. It's not something that we can wait and start teaching them when they are 15, 16, 17 years of age. The process begins when they are born and is continued throughout each and every day in which they are entrusted into our hands, hearts and homes.

It's not something where we can just expect to take them to Sunday School & Church each week and expect to see fruitful results. Abundant fruit will abound when we teach them, train them and nurture them when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down & when we rise up. It's an every day process.

It's not something that can be learned with the concept of, "Don't do as I do, but do as I say!" Kids who love God are a bi product of parents who live what they teach. Not just in some areas of life but in all areas of life.

I revisit the events of this weekend...
my heart is sad for those who have lost someone they love...
my heart is broken for those who are hurting and grieving...
my heart is angry for the unnecessary loss of life...

I refuse to "lighten up". It simply isn't going to happen.

This is why...

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 127.3

Grace...

Have you ever been in a situation where you "discover" who you once were by seeing the person you once were in another individual? I mean, you look at the way someone is acting or the way they are conducting themselves or the way they are talking or the way they are responding and just about the time the thoughts in your mind turn ugly, you hear the Lord ever so gently whisper, "Don't judge that person. The reason their conduct is so unsettling to you is because that's an image of who you once were." Believe me, it's a bizarre feeling yet a divine opportunity for freedom. It's one of those times that you are taken back and all you can say is, "Wow!"

I've had the above scenario played out two specific times in my life. Once several years back and another time just recently.

I remember the first time it happened, I was in an unfamiliar place away from all that was comfortable to me besides my family. I can still see the image in my mind. The exact room I was in. The time of day it was. I can still hear myself saying to my dad & mom, "I just saw who I have been and now I see why particular individuals haven't liked me. I see why I have been repulsive to people that I deeply love and why in turn it's has been hard for them to love me. I see the wretched person that God wants to free me from." This moment-in-time was a life-changing experience for me. An opportunity for the Lord to reveal ignorance that dwelt in my heart. Thankfully the person in whom I saw myself had no idea what was taking place and to my knowledge still doesn't know the reality of it to this day. I would never want to hurt their feelings or give them indication that this is how I saw them. In all actuality, it had nothing to do with them but everything to do with what God wanted to do in me.

Just recently, the same type of situation surfaced once again and instantly my heart felt threatened, defensive, ugly...yet as I've grown in the Lord, I have learned to immediately take those feelings captive and make them obedient to Christ. As I prayed, He gave me wisdom in responding to the issue at hand and in turn peace flooded my soul. Again, as I prayed, He gently said, "Don't judge that person. The reason their conduct is so unsettling to you is because that's an image of who you once were." This time the more I prayed the more He spoke..."Respond to the situation in the way I have directed and let.it.go! This is my battle to war. You have been obedient. Listen. Learn. Receive. Let.it.go."

Five years ago, I would have followed hard after a heart of strife, control, manipulation and retaliation yet God has had me on a journey... A long journey... A journey in which I continue to learn, grow and be transformed through His grace.

He answered and said,
Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not:
one thing I know,
that,
whereas I was blind, now I see.

John 9:25

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Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

Simple Pleasures...

Wonderful weekend...
Cherished friends...
Intriguing movie...
Relaxing Sunday...
Festive parade...
Awesome toenails...
Date night with the man who holds my heart...
Beautiful weather...
Healthy family...
Fall puzzle...
Fun photos...
Yummy grapes...
Blessed Kleenexes...
Cuddly cat...
Amazing girls...
Delicious guac...
Soothing tea...
Refreshing sleep...

Simple pleasures...

What If I Woke Up Today...

Something I read on Facebook a few weeks ago really stirred my spirit and in turn I have reflected on it many times since...

What if I woke up today,
with only the things I thanked God for yesterday?

Wow!
Reality check!
Heart refiner!

Do I get so consumed with the blessings in life that I fail to offer thanks and praise to the One who gave them to me?

Am I guilty of taking for granted the comforts God so graciously lavishes upon me?

Are my provisions of the flesh so "common" that I cease to see them as divine resources from my Creator?

Unfortunately, I would have to answer a resounding, "Yes!" to each of these questions.

I would be a lonely, hungry, cold & empty woman if I woke up today with only the things I thanked God for yesterday...

Today, I purpose to recognize each piece of my life as provision from God AND I purpose to thank Him for each of those rich blessings!

I challenge you to do the same...

He Shows Me How...

Lately I've had a situation that is perpetually repeating itself...over and over and over.
A tough situation.
A situation that if I am not diligent to guard my heart, could foster bitterness.
A situation that I have seen as "the other person's" fault.
A situation that is exhausting me mentally.
A situation that I am weary of.
A situation that could cause alot of damage if I allowed it to go to dangerous places.

This morning as I sat with my Bible, journal and pen, I cried out to the Lord to SHOW ME...

In return, through His sovereign, gentle way, He revealed that much of the fault lies within myself.
I am one-half of the situation.
I must be found faithful with my part.

Rather than bitterness, He desires that I choose love...
Rather than pride, He desires that I choose humility...
Rather than self-sufficiency, He desires that I ask for help...
Rather than independence, He desires that I rely...
Rather than pushing away, He desires that I draw close...

I have a choice...

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4~8

That's what love is...
Not by my standards...

But by God's...

I want to choose love...
In every facet...
In my half of the situation, I desire to love...

I am thankful that when I seek God with an honest, raw & open heart, in His faithfulness, He shows me the answer to my need.

He doesn't just tell me to love...
Through His Word...
He shows me how...

With My Every Breath...♥

Today is hard...

The reality of getting back into a routine without Kyle with here with me is gripping...
After ten days of togetherness, a big piece of me is missing...
Oh, I am more than grateful for our family vacation...
It was more than wonderful...
I truly have nothing to complain about...
Many are suffering hardships that I can't even begin to imagine...
But when you love your man as much as I do...
Being apart for 10 hours is tough...

On the flip side...
I am thankful for a husband who loves me more than life...
Who honors me...
Cherishes me...
Adores me...
Protects me...
Laughs with me...
Cries with me...
Prays for me...
Comforts me...
Provides for my every need...
A husband who nourishes my soul...
The man who is my rock...
My Jesus in the flesh...

Although I miss him tremendously, I am grateful to know that when the work bell rings, signaling the production day is over, he is coming home to me...
Not to a bar...
Not out with friends...
Not doing his "own thing"...
But home...
Home to me & our children...

I am thankful that God has richly provided him a secure job, with good hours, which allows him to be home with me every night that meets our physical needs.

In spite of my lonely heart, the Lord shows me how much I have to be thankful for...
And because of that I have hope...

Thank you Kyle for who you are! ♥

♥I love you with my every breath!♥

"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man."
Genesis 2:23

A View...

A room with a view...

A view that was very hard to leave...
(more to come...)

Full...

The past several weeks have been non-stop for Kyle, myself & our girls, with much going on. This week things have gotten even crazier than ever as we plan & prepare for an upcoming, much-needed, family vacation. Before my feet even hit the floor this morning I began thinking of everything that still needed to get done and the various projects that I wanted to have accomplished before we take off. As I thought about it, my mind wandered to the infamous question that so many people ask us & we as well ask them, "How are things for you & your family?" As I thought about the reality of that question, I took it one step further...to the answer. Nine times out of ten the response is, "Busy. We.are.busy." The longer I thought about it, the more the Lord spoke to my heart... "Mendi, your life isn't busy, your life is full... Full of blessings... Full of opportunities... Full of happiness... Full of learning... Full of growth... Full with your husband... Full with your girls... Don't settle for busy... See your life as full..."

As this truth fell on my heart, I sensed freedom, peace & though a weight had been lifted.
My heart was blessed by this simple yet profound conversation with the One who loves me most... Reminding me that busyness much of the time is being in motion and many times getting little accomplished. Yet fullness is being filled...being satisfied...investing...making progress...

My life is full and I am thankful! I don't have time for many of the things that I used to as my every day is filled with Kyle, MaKayla &Mal. Meeting their needs. Nurturing their hearts. Teaching their minds. Being a faithful helpmeet. They have become my first & foremost priority...above anything else. It hasn't always been this way, but it certainly is now.
I no longer meet for lunch with friends like I used to. I no longer attend evening functions like I did before. I no longer put service to other things before my family like I once found myself doing. Some see this as lack of commitment. Some see it as laziness. Some see it as "losing" my identity.

I see my life as full... To overflowing... Abundant... Radiant... Content... Satisfied... Wonderful...
Does this mean we don't have struggles? Absolutely not! We daily have battles to fight just like every other family. Yet what it does mean is that we come together & work together... We encourage each other & help carry the load of those we love most... We laugh... We cry... We share... We pray... We worship... We play... We love...

Our lives are full & I am so very thankful!