Simple and Surrendered...: MaKayla

Showing posts with label MaKayla. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

He Desires That We Do...

To say that life has been utterly, nonsensical, crazy around here would be an understatement. Ever since the beautiful events of June 20th unfolded we have been in a constant state of going, doing, creating, planning & deciding. On June 20th, Dillon asked MaKayla if she would be his forever...

And without hesitation she said, "Yes!"

Many dates were tossed around & considered & after trying to work around various schedules & conflicts it was deemed that a date simply had to be set with the hope & prayer that those closest to both Dillon & MaKayla would be able to be present. Of course the reality of harvest was one of the make-it or break-it considerations... ;) September 6th was Sharpied on the calendar & morning-by-morning, day-by-day & night-by-night, we have been in a continual mode of preparing. We're getting there but still have a ways to go. (A post more specific will come later...when time allows.)

Marci & I are hostessing a shower for MaKayla (and Dillon) on Saturday here in our home & my "things that need done" list are long & wide & deep. Yesterday I began the task of cleaning & preparing... This morning as I began thinking about the things I would like to get accomplished in my day ahead, my thoughts turned to the living room/dining room windows that are adorned with dusty curtains & speckled glass. And as I thought of the window coverings that have been present since we moved here ten years ago this summer, I realized that they really no longer "match"... And then I remembered a conversation with MaKayla & Mal the other day which confirmed that the furniture lacks in the "matching area" as well. Immediately the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart...

"Mendi, how often do you get so comfortable & familiar with something that you fail to see the need for change?

The reality of "unmatching" curtains & furniture...
The reality that they match each other yet they don't match the paint color or decor...
The reality that, though time moves on, things remain unchanged.

Life has been full of transitions & we haven't even touched the surface of the ones about to take shape yet our flesh is tempted to dig our toes in the soil & refuse to move with the transitions. Our hearts see things nearing & we are compelled to hold on a little tighter...a little longer. Our minds recognize the upcoming changes however we choose to not acknowledge them for what they are.

It's easier to not go there...

As I process the physical implication as well as the spiritual application in regard to this moment of instruction from the One who feeds & cleanses my soul, I am challenged & it compels me to examine other areas of my life that need "switched up" & "spruced up". It urges me to evaluate places in my heart that have become stagnant, faded & adorned with cobwebs. It drives me to look around & recognize clutter that needs removed & refreshment that needs to be executed.

Remaining the same...
Resisting change...
Refusing to glide with the ebb & flow of life...

Creates a hardness...
Feeds control...
Inhibits God from providing color to our beings...

Boring.
Lonely.
Isolated.
Dull.
Suffocating.

Although God never changes, He desires that we do...

In conformity to His plan.

No, I'm not changing furniture or window coverings...yet.
We have a shower to prepare for & a wedding to plan! ♥

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The Wait

As I sit down to share the thoughts, feelings & intents of my heart, I notice that my last blogging date was on this day clear back in October...five months to be exact. So many days...circumstances...memories... Life. Uncountable joys...hurts...victories... Time. Birthdays... Holidays... New life & loss just the same. Moments.

My hope & desire is to get caught up... I've missed this time to pour out... It's therapy for me. And it's an opportunity to put "stones" in place for MaKayla & Mal in future years. A place for them to look back & remember... God's goodness & faithfulness & purpose & promise & provision. Even in those moments when the fog was so thick we couldn't even begin to see or understand. And still is. Even in those situations where nothing made sense & the sorting out of it all seemed like an impossible task. And still does. Yet we pray & seek... We rest & wait... We stand firm on the Rock who is secure & unmovable.

But for this evening...

My Dearest MaKayla~

Tonight you are out celebrating... ♥
Spending time... ♥
Relishing... ♥

You are with the one your heart loves. ♥

For so many years you have waited & wondered & waited & prayed & waited & hoped & waited. ♥

The day God jolted your heart & spoke ever so clearly that His plan was different than your own, you have been in "the wait". You traded career for servitude... You exchanged financial gain for simple living... You surrendered a life of independence for a forever of submission... You yielded a 'you life' for a 'He life'. And you have done the trading & exchanging & surrendering & yielding with grace & beauty. You have lived the wait with resolve & purpose & passion & intentionality. ♥

As your momma, there have been times that I, too have wondered, & yes, I humbly admit that I've doubted & questioned as well. Yet in my days of doubt & questioning, you always reminded me, "I know what God has spoken. I am certain of what God has promised. I will wait & He will be faithful." ♥

Sitting here on the couch tonight, I reflect back on days/years gone by & I am inexplicably grateful for how the One who loves you most instructed your pops & I in the raising & nurturing & training of your precious life. How step-by-step He showed us how to bring you up in His image & for His purpose. His desires for you rather than ours... His plans for you rather than the normalcy of society... His perfection for you rather than what culture expects. For the majority of the trek it's been a going against of the grain & so incredibly tough at times yet as we arrive at this place in time, the ridicule & mockery & insults & belittlement have been every bit worth the beauty & delight we now behold. ♥

The signaling of an incoming text on my phone & the subsequent photo that followed (no different than all the others that you send me) filled my heart with joy. And once again made my heart thankful. ♥

For this one that you deemed would never work & could ~~vehemently~~ profoundly list all the deal-breakers associated in a relationship with him... (yet you didn't stand a chance as so many who love you both were intently praying for God to align your hearts to/with one another... ♥)

Has clearly stolen your heart. ♥

And your affections... ♥

Over these past four weeks, we have witnessed the piece of you that was missing, be discovered & strategically put into place through the means & in a way that only God could accomplish. ♥

We've watched you fall in love with this one whom you had closed your heart off to yet God divinely softened & opened so that He could fulfill His, before-the-beginning-of-time, plan. ♥

We've seen you invest yourself fully into this "deepening of friendship" relationship only to discover that he's the one you long to live the remainder of your life with... ♥

We've observed you giving your heart away... ♥

Enjoying this season... ♥

And having so much fun in the process. ♥

The glimpses & peeks & gazes that we, as your parents, are blessed to take in, are so reminiscent of ourselves nearly 26 years ago...and we stand in awe of the goodness & faithfulness & workings of the great & mighty God that set these things in motion. ♥

And as I reflect, I am humbled...

Humbled that I doubted...
And questioned...
And wondered...

Humbled of the uncertainty of my heart.

Yet God reminds me that many times when we doubt & question & wonder, it is then that we are most enthralled & intrigued & captivated through the might & majesty of His sovereign hand at work in our lives. It is then that we know it truly had nothing to do with us but everything to do with Him. ♥

I am thankful. ♥

Thankful that we can't take credit or applause...
Rather we can give Him glory...
And share the testimony of this promise that He spoke & fulfilled. ♥

He is so worthy of our praise.

So as I sit here this night, I am grateful that we encouraged you to not awaken love too soon...
That we challenged you to guard your heart...
And protect your purity (physical & emotional) at all cost.

For the sake of Christ...
Yourself...
And Dillon.

I am grateful that the One who loves you so much more than we, compelled us to raise you with all diligence according to His Word. And that He equipped us & strengthened us & guided us each & every step of the way. And that His grace resolved your heart to wait. ♥

Thank you for listening to His voice... ♥
Considering His counsel... ♥
Obeying His instruction. ♥

Thank you for being intentional & faithful in the wait. ♥

Precious one, you are a treasure. ♥
And we eagerly await in anticipation as to all that God has in store. ♥

For always... ♥
Forever... ♥
A million Swedish fish plus more than you could ever begin to count... ♥

xoxoxoxoxoxo~
Momma

...I have found the one my heart loves.

~Song of Solomon 3:4

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Something About The Number...

The sun is shining...
The roosters are crowing...
The birds sing a morning song.

It's a beautiful Wednesday morning in the country.

I knew the Lord was asking me to do things differently this morning and although my flesh attempted to insist on it's own will, I simply asked God what it was that He wanted me to do but not until after I started in on my typical routine... And then I cleaned the bathroom... Next, I went to the basement to retrieve a CD... In the process I noticed that the breezeway floor needed swept...

He placed some people on my my heart that He wanted me to pen a note to...
Letting them know how much they mean to me...
And how deeply I appreciate them.

One note was prompted due to a text I received on Monday that said this...

"Thankn the Lord 4 u as a mom 2day. U guys have raised some awesome girls!"

I've pondered that text since receiving it...
Thankful for the affirmation...
And grateful for words of encouragement from a sister-friend who understands my heart.

You see, Monday was MaKayla's 20th birthday...
A big one for me as a mom.

Something about the number...

I haven't let on but the realization of 20, pricks my heart in a peculiar way...

And as I sit at this computer with tears streaming down my face, I think on the words I penned to the precious one who text me Monday...

"Many days I struggle with the fear of what a "disservice" I have done to MaKayla & Mal so an exhortation/affirmation from a kindred heart assures the finite mind. ♥ Sometimes, actually on a consistent basis, I wonder if we 'heard correctly' & then I convince myself that it's too late to turn back now...& I keep trudging forth in faith, believing God to do what He has promised or at least create something fruitful out of the mess I've made. Parenting 'against the grain' bears it's own load of uncertainty & insecurity... Simply put, I desire to raise girls who hunger & thirst after God & recognize His voice of truth... Who wait for Him... And stand on faith..."

As our girls have grown older, Kyle & I have taught them to listen to the Holy Spirit for direction.

Not to the voice of the world...
Or to common sense...
But to God.

Not to "what feels good"...
Or to the emotion of the heart...
Or what seems "right to man"...
But to the One who formed them...
And created them for a specific purpose.

I look at MaKayla's life & I see radiant beauty.
Outwardly, yes.
But most important, inward beauty.
A beauty of the heart, mind, soul & spirit.

So, Baby Girl... ♥

Here's 20 things that I love about you... ♥

♥ Your heart of intent...

♥ Your courage in challenge...

♥ The spirit of servitude that you live out on a daily basis...

♥ Your love language of affection...

♥ The way you openly communicate your heart...

♥ That you recognize a "microphone" when you see one... :)

♥ How you unconditionally love & nurture & care for momma & baby bullies...

Getting your hands dirty...

And willingly doing things for them that most would find disgust in...

♥ The way you inhale deeply at the scent of a shopping mall...

♥ Your love for learning...

♥ That you are meticulous in any task you take on...

♥ That you love all things vintage & antique & earthy...

♥ Your palate for coffee & dark chocolate & cheesecake & anything savory...

♥ That adventure excites you rather than scares you...

♥ Your willingness & desire to wait upon God even when you can't see...

♥ Your resolve to remain pure until you are joined in spirit with God's chosen "what he must be"...

♥ The domestic heart that the One who loves you most placed within your being...

♥ Your appreciation for perfection & organization & clean work spaces...

♥ Your love for candles & pajamas & 1,000 piece puzzles & road trips...

♥ That you love your hands in rich, black soil...planting & nurturing...

♥ That the beauty of the Lord shines in you & through you & from you...

You truly are the picture of Psalm 144:12...

...and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. (NIV)

...our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace. (ESV)

...that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace. (KJV)

Although we spent a great majority of the day in the kitchen making food that fits "in plan" with our new dietary lifestyle (gluten, grain, refined sugar & dairy free), celebrating MaKayla on Monday was a beautiful honor. Kyle took the day off of work, we kept things very simple (per MaKayla's request) & simply enjoyed being together as a family.