Even Though...

It's a Wednesday & I'm home alone for a bit this evening. Typically I would be at church with the rest of my family but Monday night I went to bed with a hint of a sore throat & subsequently woke yesterday morning feeling right down rotten. Today has been much the same. I've literally had to PUSH myself throughout the past two days & in turn, I've been productive even in the midst of illness.

Lately I've been in one of those lonely places of life.
A place where no one around seems to be.
A place of isolation & peculiar dwelling.

It's a grassroots place.
Yet a place where others are watching, observing, taking notice.
A place where I often wish there were a female kindred spirit...here. with. me.

Kyle is here.
The girls are here.
God is here.
But just someone, a friend, who's there as well.
One who understands.

The place where I am has not even a dim flicker of light.
Human understanding is nonexistent.
And the only map is found in trusting...
Trusting the One & Only.
Knowing He knows.
Knowing He sees.
Knowing He understands.
Knowing He has it all figured out.

My insecurity says, "Compare the situation to the situations of others."
My default says, "Think it through. Think it through again. And again and again and again."
My doubt says, "Since you can't see, just knock down some doors."
My restlessness says, "Figure it out."

And then I open the Word & it says,

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.

I shared with both Kyle & MaKayla that I in NO WAY want to light my own fire.
I in NO WAY want to provide myself with flaming torches.
When it's all said & done & those who are watching/observing/taking notice see provision, I in NO WAY want to be able to take any part of the glory.
I in NO WAY want to be able to say that I had even an ounce of influence.
I want those who see, to see Christ & Christ alone.

Even though walk in the dark...
Even though I have no light...
I will trust in the name of the Lord & I will rely on my God.

Simple Joy...

Sitting here with my cup of coffee, thanking God for a new day...
A day already sprinkled with sunshine...
Reflecting on the goodness, graciousness & provision of a faithful Savior...

#999 ~ the inexhaustible hope of Christ

Life has been abundantly full the past several weeks, thus the reason for lagging blog posts. With teaching two separate studies (covering totally different subjects yet all centered around God's Word), being a wife, mom, homeschool teacher...doing laundry, dishes & housework...fixing meals, mending hearts, nurturing lives...time goes. The days pass. The weeks disappear. The months dissipate. It's called life. ♥

Our good friend, Julie came for a visit a few weeks back & we were very excited to see her. She & her husband, Brian will be welcoming their first "arrow" in the very near future. MaKayla was ecstatic to be able to see/touch/pat Julie's baby bump (us girls in this family love baby bumps :) & it was so much fun to be able to catch up on life with her. Julie has been a "mainstay" in our family for several years now; mentoring MaKayla in quizzing, helping to care for our girls during Kyle's illness & simply being a tried-and-true friend. We love, love, love her. ♥

The chicken coop is coming right along & most everything is done with the exception of hanging "siding" on the outside of the structure. The butcher/broiler chickens will soon be meeting their demise :), our layers are growing, growing, growing & our ducks have finally found the outside world as their permanent residence. (We were never so glad to get the dears out the door...) Along the way we've added to our brood & now have 50 plus laying hens. As we were doing research people commented on how addicting this type of thing could be & although I simply couldn't fathom it, I now completely understand  the concept. :) We have several different varieties & are truly enjoying their presence here on our home front.

When we went in to Orschlen's a week or so ago to get chicken feed, we of course had to go back & see what "new stock" they had received as far as poultry & ended up bringing this precious little guy home (along with 12 more layers...)

A baby gosling that had arrived injured/handicapped... One of the managers on duty asked if we would be interested in taking him & MaKayla immediately responded, "No. We don't want/need a goose (she has one that incessantly chases/hisses at her at Jon & Jane's) & it will probably die. I DO NOT want to take home another animal that I am just going to get attached to that will eventually not make it..." I called Kyle & he said, "Aww... Yeah, bring it home." I'm all about submission so we boxed him up & brought him to his new residence (much to MaKayla's dismay). He simply could not walk. at. all. We tried putting him in with the ducks (that was before they got booted out the door) & they just trampled him, ate his food & emptied his water dish repeatedly. After one night of that, we constructed him his own little home in our living/dining room.

We did a great deal of research on what his problem might be & alternative ways to correct it but nothing worked. We made splints for his feet & tied his legs together... That only seemed to make things worse. MaKayla called the vet but they were out of the office & way behind so it would be Monday before they could get back to her. We cuddled him, played with him, named him, gave him baths & just loved him. By the time Monday rolled around MaKayla had worked with him enough that he was actually walking but he wasn't eating at all & drinking very little. His strength was gone & he was pretty much lethargic. MaKayla talked to Dr. Joe on the phone & he mentioned a few possibilities to her. We attempted to find the supplements he recommended but to no avail no one had it. We hashed around the idea of taking him to see Dr. Joe on Tuesday but weren't overly keen on paying an office visit (I mean really, who takes a baby goose to the vet) as well as spending out a significant amount of money on shots (antibiotics were mentioned) or other medications. As we tucked him in for bed Monday night, MaKayla was in tears & I simply just prayed that if there was no hope for his little life, that God would allow him to go to sleep & pass away therein. Neither Kyle nor myself slept much that night wondering... He got up & checked on him a few times & both times 'Harrington' was still hanging on, which to me meant that God had a plan... By 5:00 Tuesday morning, he was more lively but still not "thriving" & at 10:30 we were sitting in the vet clinic waiting... Mal HATES going to there as every time we do go, the news is bad & we end up saying good-bye to someone we love... Dr. Joe looked him over good, looked up at MaKayla & said, "I think he's gonna be just fine..." ♥

#987 ~ Dr. Joe's affirmation on Harrington's health/life

Simple joy...

I was still skeptical as the little guy still wasn't eating or drinking but I chose to trust... You see, when MaKayla brought Winston home & we cared for him, we didn't exercise our faith like we could have/should have. We fell short & just resolved that there was no hope...no options...no chance for Divine healing... I'm a firm believer that God CAN & WILL use anything we allow Him to, to build our children's faith. With Winston, I fell short, gave in & defaulted to hopelessness rather than FAITH. A building block. A learning lesson. A life/spirit-changing experience. I wasn't going to make the same mistake again...

As the days have progressed, through God's touch, MaKayla's nurturing & lots of TLC from the rest of us, he is thriving, active & changing every day. He is held a bunch, doted on constantly, worked with frequently & loved in unending measures. To be honest, he's completely spoiled.... ♥

Once this Bible study season comes to a close, I hope to be back to blogging more regularly. I truly miss it...sharing how God is speaking as well as the events taking place in our lives/family however I remind myself daily (many times a day) that my focus must be on what is most important...my family & what God has entrusted to me. It's a fine line...a distinct balance.

Thanks for stopping by... ♥

"Ah, Sovereign LORD, 

You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. 

Nothing is too hard for you."

Jeremiah 32:17