Lately I've been in one of those lonely places of life.
A place where no one around seems to be.
A place of isolation & peculiar dwelling.
It's a grassroots place.
Yet a place where others are watching, observing, taking notice.
A place where I often wish there were a female kindred spirit...here. with. me.
Kyle is here.
The girls are here.
God is here.
But just someone, a friend, who's there as well.
One who understands.
The place where I am has not even a dim flicker of light.
Human understanding is nonexistent.
And the only map is found in trusting...
Trusting the One & Only.
Knowing He knows.
Knowing He sees.
Knowing He understands.
Knowing He has it all figured out.
My insecurity says, "Compare the situation to the situations of others."
My default says, "Think it through. Think it through again. And again and again and again."
My doubt says, "Since you can't see, just knock down some doors."
My restlessness says, "Figure it out."
And then I open the Word & it says,
Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.
I shared with both Kyle & MaKayla that I in NO WAY want to light my own fire.
I in NO WAY want to provide myself with flaming torches.
When it's all said & done & those who are watching/observing/taking notice see provision, I in NO WAY want to be able to take any part of the glory.
I in NO WAY want to be able to say that I had even an ounce of influence.
I want those who see, to see Christ & Christ alone.
Even though I have no light...
I will trust in the name of the Lord & I will rely on my God.
