He Desires That We Do...

To say that life has been utterly, nonsensical, crazy around here would be an understatement. Ever since the beautiful events of June 20th unfolded we have been in a constant state of going, doing, creating, planning & deciding. On June 20th, Dillon asked MaKayla if she would be his forever...

And without hesitation she said, "Yes!"

Many dates were tossed around & considered & after trying to work around various schedules & conflicts it was deemed that a date simply had to be set with the hope & prayer that those closest to both Dillon & MaKayla would be able to be present. Of course the reality of harvest was one of the make-it or break-it considerations... ;) September 6th was Sharpied on the calendar & morning-by-morning, day-by-day & night-by-night, we have been in a continual mode of preparing. We're getting there but still have a ways to go. (A post more specific will come later...when time allows.)

Marci & I are hostessing a shower for MaKayla (and Dillon) on Saturday here in our home & my "things that need done" list are long & wide & deep. Yesterday I began the task of cleaning & preparing... This morning as I began thinking about the things I would like to get accomplished in my day ahead, my thoughts turned to the living room/dining room windows that are adorned with dusty curtains & speckled glass. And as I thought of the window coverings that have been present since we moved here ten years ago this summer, I realized that they really no longer "match"... And then I remembered a conversation with MaKayla & Mal the other day  which confirmed that the furniture lacks in the "matching area" as well. Immediately the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart...

"Mendi, how often do you get so comfortable & familiar with something that you fail to see the need for change?

The reality of "unmatching" curtains & furniture...
The reality that they match each other yet they don't match the paint color or decor...
The reality that, though time moves on, things remain unchanged.

Life has been full of transitions & we haven't even touched the surface of the ones about to take shape yet our flesh is tempted to dig our toes in the soil & refuse to move with the transitions. Our hearts see things nearing & we are compelled to hold on a little tighter...a little longer. Our minds recognize the upcoming changes however we choose to not acknowledge them for what they are.

It's easier to not go there...

As I process the physical implication as well as the spiritual application in regard to this moment of instruction from the One who feeds & cleanses my soul, I am challenged & it compels me to examine other areas of my life that need "switched up" & "spruced up". It urges me to evaluate places in my heart that have become stagnant, faded & adorned with cobwebs. It drives me to look around & recognize clutter that needs removed & refreshment that needs to be executed.

Remaining the same...
Resisting change...
Refusing to glide with the ebb & flow of life...

Creates a hardness...
Feeds control...
Inhibits God from providing color to our beings...

Boring.
Lonely.
Isolated.
Dull.
Suffocating.

Although God never changes, He desires that we do...

In conformity to His plan.

No, I'm not changing furniture or window coverings...yet.
We have a shower to prepare for & a wedding to plan! ♥

The Wait

As I sit down to share the thoughts, feelings & intents of my heart, I notice that my last blogging date was on this day clear back in October...five months to be exact. So many days...circumstances...memories... Life. Uncountable joys...hurts...victories... Time. Birthdays... Holidays... New life & loss just the same. Moments.

My hope & desire is to get caught up... I've missed this time to pour out... It's therapy for me. And it's an opportunity to put "stones" in place for MaKayla & Mal in future years. A place for them to look back & remember... God's goodness & faithfulness & purpose & promise & provision. Even in those moments when the fog was so thick we couldn't even begin to see or understand. And still is. Even in those situations where nothing made sense & the sorting out of it all seemed like an impossible task. And still does. Yet we pray & seek... We rest & wait... We stand firm on the Rock who is secure & unmovable.

But for this evening...

My Dearest MaKayla~

Tonight you are out celebrating... ♥
Spending time... ♥
Relishing... ♥

You are with the one your heart loves. ♥

For so many years you have waited & wondered & waited & prayed & waited & hoped & waited. ♥

The day God jolted your heart & spoke ever so clearly that His plan was different than your own, you have been in "the wait". You traded career for servitude... You exchanged financial gain for simple living... You surrendered a life of independence for a forever of submission... You yielded a 'you life' for a 'He life'. And you have done the trading & exchanging & surrendering & yielding with grace & beauty. You have lived the wait with resolve & purpose & passion & intentionality. ♥

As your momma, there have been times that I, too have wondered, & yes, I humbly admit that I've doubted & questioned as well. Yet in my days of doubt & questioning, you always reminded me, "I know what God has spoken. I am certain of what God has promised. I will wait & He will be faithful." ♥

Sitting here on the couch tonight, I reflect back on days/years gone by & I am inexplicably grateful for how the One who loves you most instructed your pops & I in the raising & nurturing & training of your precious life. How step-by-step He showed us how to bring you up in His image & for His purpose. His desires for you rather than ours... His plans for you rather than the normalcy of society... His perfection for you rather than what culture expects. For the majority of the trek it's been a going against of the grain & so incredibly tough at times yet as we arrive at this place in time, the ridicule & mockery & insults & belittlement have been every bit worth the beauty & delight we now behold. ♥

The signaling of an incoming text on my phone & the subsequent photo that followed (no different than all the others that you send me) filled my heart with joy. And once again made my heart thankful. ♥

For this one that you deemed would never work & could vehemently profoundly list all the deal-breakers associated in a relationship with him... (yet you didn't stand a chance as so many who love you both were intently praying for God to align your hearts to/with one another... ♥)

Has clearly stolen your heart. ♥

And your affections... ♥

Over these past four weeks, we have witnessed the piece of you that was missing, be discovered & strategically put into place through the means & in a way that only God could accomplish. ♥

We've watched you fall in love with this one whom you had closed your heart off to yet God divinely softened & opened so that He could fulfill His, before-the-beginning-of-time, plan. ♥

We've seen you invest yourself fully into this "deepening of friendship" relationship only to discover that he's the one you long to live the remainder of your life with... ♥

We've observed you giving your heart away... ♥

Enjoying this season... ♥

And having so much fun in the process. ♥

The glimpses & peeks & gazes that we, as your parents, are blessed to take in, are so reminiscent of ourselves nearly 26 years ago...and we stand in awe of the goodness & faithfulness & workings of the great & mighty God that set these things in motion. ♥

And as I reflect, I am humbled...

Humbled that I doubted...
And questioned...
And wondered...

Humbled of the uncertainty of my heart.

Yet God reminds me that many times when we doubt & question & wonder, it is then that we are most enthralled & intrigued & captivated through the might & majesty of His sovereign hand at work in our lives. It is then that we know it truly had nothing to do with us but everything to do with Him. ♥

I am thankful. ♥

Thankful that we can't take credit or applause...
Rather we can give Him glory...
And share the testimony of this promise that He spoke & fulfilled.  ♥

He is so worthy of our praise.

So as I sit here this night, I am grateful that we encouraged you to not awaken love too soon...
That we challenged you to guard your heart...
And protect your purity (physical & emotional) at all cost.

For the sake of Christ...
Yourself...
And Dillon.

I am grateful that the One who loves you so much more than we, compelled us to raise you with all diligence according to His Word. And that He equipped us & strengthened us & guided us each & every step of the way. And that His grace resolved your heart to wait. ♥

Thank you for listening to His voice... ♥
Considering His counsel... ♥
Obeying His instruction. ♥

Thank you for being intentional & faithful in the wait. ♥

Precious one, you are a treasure. ♥
And we eagerly await in anticipation as to all that God has in store. ♥

For always... ♥
Forever... ♥
A million Swedish fish plus more than you could ever begin to count... ♥

xoxoxoxoxoxo~
Momma

...I have found the one my heart loves.

~Song of Solomon 3:4

43 Years...43 Reasons... Thank You For You... ♥

Yes, as you can tell, MaKayla has been doing much updating to the blog. I'm a simple kinda person who isn't bent on fixing something that isn't broken but she loves to create & spruce up a bit so when she asked if she could, I said, "Go for it." :) I love what she's done & am so thankful for her time, energy, effort & diligence.

It's been a great week of doing life with those I love most...
*Bible reading/study...
*Cleaning a little here...
*Cleaning a little there...
*Watering...
*Watering...
*Watering...

It's also been a week of learning & growing in Christ through the instruction of God's Word & the counsel of the Holy Spirit. Many times I wonder if I will ever "get it" & then God reminds me that I have much tutelage to undergo until He wills my time on earth to be over. This excites me as I love being stretched spiritually & I am beyond fulfilled when I gain understanding regarding something that has before been "hidden".

Tuesday was Kyle's birthday & although he typically doesn't take off of work for celebration of his special day, this year he decided to. MaKayla, Mal & I were beyond thrilled. ♥ We did most of our food prep the day before & I am so thankful that we did in order for us to fully enjoy our family day together.

Here's some snippets...

Pops & his girls...♥

Doughnuts just for him...♥

And on plan...

Gluten, grain, dairy & refined sugar-free...

Me & my love...♥

New instrumental guitar CD...

Delish...

Breakfast on the patio...♥

And a game of Yahtzee...♥

Love her...♥

A little sibling fun...♥

The one my heart loves...♥

A little relaxing...♥

Gifts...♥

We asked what he wanted to do with his afternoon...♥

Teaching moments...♥

Learning moments...♥

Alone moments...♥

Score #1...♥

Maybe a little technique to the process...♥

Score #2...♥

Not so sure...♥

Finally getting it...♥

Score #3...♥

I sat in the back of the truck & read my Bible...

And journaled...

And captured pictures of God's beautiful handiwork...

And watched those I love...♥

Yep, there's something over there...♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

My treasures...♥

My forever love...♥

Lettuce wraps for lunch...

Guac for supper...

And homemade chips...

43 years...♥

43 reasons...♥

A game of Phase 10...♥

Mexican was his request...♥

The lighting of the candles...♥

Love this...♥

So much to celebrate...♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Rich fibers in the tapestry of my heart...♥

New shirt #1...♥

New shirt #2...♥

Radiant joy...♥

New Fiesta...♥

Just his...♥

color...♥

♥

♥

New racquetball racket...♥

And goggles...♥

And racquetballs...♥

P.J. pants...♥

(We LOVE pj's in this home...)

Mal thought he needed minion boxers...♥

:)

Plus the Ice Age movies that we didn't have...♥

Kyle letting MaKayla know that a button is NEEDED...♥

:)

A picture-perfect day...♥

Ended with a delish on-plan dessert...♥

Black Bottom Banana Pie...♥

43 years...

43 Reasons...

♥Your gentle touch...

♥ Your love for music...

♥ Your longing for my presence...

♥ Your desire for order...

♥ And structure...

♥Your dislike of clutter...

♥ Your tender heart...

♥ Your knowledge of things I know nothing of...

♥ That you've never allowed either of us to sleep on the couch...

♥ Your infatuation with deodorant...

♥ And moving air...

♥ And the warm glow of lamps...

♥ The way worship melodies move you...

♥That you learned to love coffee...

♥ Black...♥

♥ That angry words make you uneasy...

♥ The way you leave scattered coffee granules on the counter...

♥ That you tolerate hormones...

♥ And the women they affect...♥

♥ Your creative mind...

♥ The way your hands move on your guitar...

♥ And the melodies they generate...

♥ Your giving spirit...

♥ That you enjoy painting (since I don't)...

♥ Your artistic abilities...

♥ That you have no fear of driving in snow or ice...

♥ Your love for shopping...

♥ And new clothes...

♥ That you treat me with fragility...

♥ Your passion for purity in MaKayla & Mal...

♥ That you work beside me in the kitchen...

♥ That divorce has never been an option for you...

♥ Your love for Bibles...

♥ That you calm my fears...

♥ Soothe my anxieties...

♥ And quiet my racing thoughts...

♥ Your patience...

♥ And grace...

♥ That you named our children...

♥ And changed their first diapers (since I couldn't)...

♥ Your desire to see me succeed in whatever I am doing...

♥ That you always want to be wherever I am...

♥ Your unconditional love for me...

And an uncountable number more...♥

You are my Jesus-in-the-flesh & I am beyond thankful that since from the beginning of time, 

God knew you would be mine...

And I would be yours...

You are more than I ever could have dreamed of...

Hoped for...

Desired...

Kyle~

Thank you for you...

For ever...

For always...

~Your Mendi

I belong to my lover,

and his desire is for me.

~Song of Solomon 7:10