The Wait

As I sit down to share the thoughts, feelings & intents of my heart, I notice that my last blogging date was on this day clear back in October...five months to be exact. So many days...circumstances...memories... Life. Uncountable joys...hurts...victories... Time. Birthdays... Holidays... New life & loss just the same. Moments.

My hope & desire is to get caught up... I've missed this time to pour out... It's therapy for me. And it's an opportunity to put "stones" in place for MaKayla & Mal in future years. A place for them to look back & remember... God's goodness & faithfulness & purpose & promise & provision. Even in those moments when the fog was so thick we couldn't even begin to see or understand. And still is. Even in those situations where nothing made sense & the sorting out of it all seemed like an impossible task. And still does. Yet we pray & seek... We rest & wait... We stand firm on the Rock who is secure & unmovable.

But for this evening...

My Dearest MaKayla~

Tonight you are out celebrating... ♥
Spending time... ♥
Relishing... ♥

You are with the one your heart loves. ♥

For so many years you have waited & wondered & waited & prayed & waited & hoped & waited. ♥

The day God jolted your heart & spoke ever so clearly that His plan was different than your own, you have been in "the wait". You traded career for servitude... You exchanged financial gain for simple living... You surrendered a life of independence for a forever of submission... You yielded a 'you life' for a 'He life'. And you have done the trading & exchanging & surrendering & yielding with grace & beauty. You have lived the wait with resolve & purpose & passion & intentionality. ♥

As your momma, there have been times that I, too have wondered, & yes, I humbly admit that I've doubted & questioned as well. Yet in my days of doubt & questioning, you always reminded me, "I know what God has spoken. I am certain of what God has promised. I will wait & He will be faithful." ♥

Sitting here on the couch tonight, I reflect back on days/years gone by & I am inexplicably grateful for how the One who loves you most instructed your pops & I in the raising & nurturing & training of your precious life. How step-by-step He showed us how to bring you up in His image & for His purpose. His desires for you rather than ours... His plans for you rather than the normalcy of society... His perfection for you rather than what culture expects. For the majority of the trek it's been a going against of the grain & so incredibly tough at times yet as we arrive at this place in time, the ridicule & mockery & insults & belittlement have been every bit worth the beauty & delight we now behold. ♥

The signaling of an incoming text on my phone & the subsequent photo that followed (no different than all the others that you send me) filled my heart with joy. And once again made my heart thankful. ♥

For this one that you deemed would never work & could vehemently profoundly list all the deal-breakers associated in a relationship with him... (yet you didn't stand a chance as so many who love you both were intently praying for God to align your hearts to/with one another... ♥)

Has clearly stolen your heart. ♥

And your affections... ♥

Over these past four weeks, we have witnessed the piece of you that was missing, be discovered & strategically put into place through the means & in a way that only God could accomplish. ♥

We've watched you fall in love with this one whom you had closed your heart off to yet God divinely softened & opened so that He could fulfill His, before-the-beginning-of-time, plan. ♥

We've seen you invest yourself fully into this "deepening of friendship" relationship only to discover that he's the one you long to live the remainder of your life with... ♥

We've observed you giving your heart away... ♥

Enjoying this season... ♥

And having so much fun in the process. ♥

The glimpses & peeks & gazes that we, as your parents, are blessed to take in, are so reminiscent of ourselves nearly 26 years ago...and we stand in awe of the goodness & faithfulness & workings of the great & mighty God that set these things in motion. ♥

And as I reflect, I am humbled...

Humbled that I doubted...
And questioned...
And wondered...

Humbled of the uncertainty of my heart.

Yet God reminds me that many times when we doubt & question & wonder, it is then that we are most enthralled & intrigued & captivated through the might & majesty of His sovereign hand at work in our lives. It is then that we know it truly had nothing to do with us but everything to do with Him. ♥

I am thankful. ♥

Thankful that we can't take credit or applause...
Rather we can give Him glory...
And share the testimony of this promise that He spoke & fulfilled.  ♥

He is so worthy of our praise.

So as I sit here this night, I am grateful that we encouraged you to not awaken love too soon...
That we challenged you to guard your heart...
And protect your purity (physical & emotional) at all cost.

For the sake of Christ...
Yourself...
And Dillon.

I am grateful that the One who loves you so much more than we, compelled us to raise you with all diligence according to His Word. And that He equipped us & strengthened us & guided us each & every step of the way. And that His grace resolved your heart to wait. ♥

Thank you for listening to His voice... ♥
Considering His counsel... ♥
Obeying His instruction. ♥

Thank you for being intentional & faithful in the wait. ♥

Precious one, you are a treasure. ♥
And we eagerly await in anticipation as to all that God has in store. ♥

For always... ♥
Forever... ♥
A million Swedish fish plus more than you could ever begin to count... ♥

xoxoxoxoxoxo~
Momma

...I have found the one my heart loves.

~Song of Solomon 3:4