This Time, This Intimate Time...

Fall has arrived.

And it's such a beautiful season to absorb.

I sit back and watch the picture unfold...

And my heart is fulfilled...

And refreshed...

And saturated with contentment.

The One who loves me most has created this tapestry of beauty & I'm honored to behold it.

It's been a quiet morning around our home as Kyle is away at work & MaKayla & Mal are caring for a precious one-year-old before heading over to love on bullies & send one off to his/her new home. A busy day for the girls yet I am blessed for the blessing they are & for the ways they selflessly serve & love & nurture. The reality of that fills this momma's heart. ♥

I've invested the morning in doing laundry...
Capturing the majesty of the Creator...
And relishing in intimacy with Him.

An intimacy that completes...
And satisfies.

As I sat at the dining room table warming my hands on a steaming cup of coffee & thinking on this time, this intimate time...
My heart went back a few weeks ago.

Early morning shower.
Nothing unusual.

As the hot water washed over my body, I began my typical shower routine...
Cleansing my body...
Seeking cleansing for my soul.

And then requesting...
"Be with..."
"Help..."
"Meet...where they are..."
"Go before us..."
"Be provisional..."
"Extend favor..."
"Be close to..."

And then the Holy Spirit stopped me...

"To do... To do... To do... Thanks for the "To Do List" but what about...Me."

"What do You mean?"

"I mean, how about being with Me... Appreciating Me... Respecting Me... Revering Me... Valuing Me... You are so quick to throw a 'To Do List' at Me, but what about...Me? I am your doer... fixer... mender... At least that's the way it seems. I am present to do all those things & answer all those requests & fix all those issues & mend all that brokenness, yet you're demanding rather than asking... You're expectant without first respecting... And while we're at it, this is many times how you treat Kyle..."

My attention at this point is at full capacity.

"How would you feel, Mendi, if Kyle woke up, rolled over & said, 'Okay, this is your list for the day. I'm very specific in what I expect you to complete. Get to it. No, 'Good Morning...' No, 'I love you...' No, 'Thank you...' No, 'I am so grateful to be with you...' No, 'I believe in you...' No, 'You are my treasure & I'm glad you are mine...' Just, 'Here's your list...'"

A humbling reality yet I knew that what He was saying to me was truth...
It always is.
He can be nothing less.
Or speak anything short.

It was truth.

So many people, including myself, see God (or our spouse) as a "fixer" more than a friend...
A "saver" more than a Saviour...
A "doer" more than a Dwelling Place...
And a "mender" more than a precious, loving & faithful Master.

It's not that I don't see God (or Kyle) as my Friend or Saviour or Dwelling Place or Master, but do I sincerely, continually, intimately see those facets of Him first & foremost?

We talked about this a great deal in the Monday evening Bible study we are hosting here in our home. We call out to God out of necessity when we are in dire straights & want something but when all is going smooth, we run full throttle on emotion & adrenaline.

How do we feel when others treat us as such?

Used.
Conditioned.
Resentful.
Devalued.

In all fairness, I think we think that God (or our spouse) already knows we love Him & respect Him & revere Him & cherish Him...
And He does.

We take no time to be intimate...

But value comes through telling...
And Expressing.

Conveying...
And showing.

He longs to be told...
Just like we do.

He is God & we were made for His pleasure...
His joy.

He desires to be shown...
In the same manner as us.

I mean be honest, aren't you thankful & blessed when you not only know that someone loves you & appreciates you & honors you & respects you but then they take it a whole step further to tell you & show you & convey to you & express to you? It confirms what you know...

When they are intimately connected...

I believe God is the same.

Ever since that morning & that shower :), I've been mindful...

To appreciate before I ask.
To respect prior to requesting.
To honor ahead of wanting.

To articulate how much I love Him...
And how thankful I am that He chooses to be present in my life.

I no longer want to be a child of a loving God or a wife of an adoring husband or a mom of precious children who takes for granted that which I am to cherish & honor & appreciate & respect. Not because I have to or am expected to, but because I have the honor & privilege. ♥

I desire intimacy...

For their sake...

And mine.

The "resting" I spoke of in the last post has brought me to the reality of revelation.
In resting we are saved...
In quietness we find strength.

The Bible says it this way:

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,

“In returning and rest you shall be saved;

    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”

But you were unwilling... 

(ESV)

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: 

In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; 

in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. 

But you would not... 

(Amplified)

For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; 

In returning and rest shall ye be saved; 

in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: 

and ye would not. 

(KJV)

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength,

but you would have none of it.

(NIV)

For in moments of intimacy we grow to know...

better than ever before.

So as I sat at that dining room table this morning, reflecting on this time, this intimate time, my thoughts reflected on the opportunity of quiet, intimate, alone moments... And how the moments between myself & my Jesus should mirror that of similar moments with Kyle... And how moments between myself & Kyle should mirror that of similar moments with my Jesus... For a covenant marriage is to be an example of that between Christ & ourselves.

♥ Naked...
♥ Unguarded...
♥ Bare...
♥ Crucifying control...
♥ Exposed...
♥ Vulnerable...
♥ Available...
♥ Unashamed...
♥ Willing...
♥ Relaxed...
♥ Quiet...
♥ Peaceful...
♥ Freeing...
♥ Unsuffocated...
♥ Open...
♥ Receptive...
♥ Up close...
♥ Personal...
♥ Noticing...
♥ Learning...

♥ Thankful...

♥ Appreciative...

♥ Cherished...

♥ Valued...

Taking deliberate time to be grateful...
And to purposefully express the reality of that to the One we love...
Without expecting anything in return.

In returning & rest we are saved...
In quietness & trust we are strengthened.

We have to be willing...
And intentional.