I'm So Thankful...

It's a new day & each day prior to this I have felt the compelling urge to get a blog post done...
Time has been slipping away...
The days ever so swiftly pass by...
I, myself, am slowing down...
Making sure to savor each moment...

Today, it feels good to write...
To share...

School is in full swing here and so far each day has been a tremendous blessing. Both MaKayla & Mal are very much enjoying the curriculum that we are using, apart from one subject, that one girl, very much dislikes!?! We've talked about it and discussed it yet it has been concluded that in regard to this particular subject, "it must be done," therefore we move forward. So far, so good! :) I'm so thankful for this one I love so much who attempts to complete her daily assignments without grumbling and complaining!

Wrapping our brains around the fact that MaKayla is now a senior has been and continues to be something so very hard to fathom! Where have the years gone anyway??? Rather than go to a professional photographer, she wanted me to take her senior pictures which I was hesitant of, but agreed to. The opportunity proved to be such a fun experience! We spent the afternoon/evening hopping from place-to-place, shooting pictures here-and-there, laughing, talking and just enjoying time as a family! I think we ended up with over 800 shots to choose from! I'm so thankful for the simplicity & contentment of our children.

This week completed our third week of dog obedience training with Zeke. He has a very strong willed personality therefore when we saw the class being offered at a minimal cost, at a location near us, we decided it would be a beneficial investment. The first class Kyle & MaKayla attended alone yet Mal & I have joined them since then. We are all definitely learning how to teach Zeke and at the same time some neat acquaintances have been formed. I'm so thankful for activities we can do as a family & that Kyle chooses to invest in us, his family, rather than choosing to be "independent" of us as so many husbands and fathers do.

My very close friend that was diagnosed with cancer a little over a month ago, underwent surgery three weeks ago today. After fervent, diligent prayer, belief in a God who is all powerful, the work of a precise, skilled doctor's hands, care from daughters who love their mom and much rest for recovery, this one that I love was declared, "CANCER FREE"! I'm thankful for Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who heals!

As the weather begins to turn much cooler, jeans, sweatshirts and fleece jammies emerge from summer hibernation. The garden is silent and bare. Trees are changing. Farmers are harvesting grain from their fields. Dew is heavy on the grass each morning. Football is a frequent conversation. A morning chill greets us as we climb out of bed. We find ourselves in the kitchen more frequently...preparing soup, roast, potatoes, carrots, homemade noodles, freshly baked homemade rolls, pumpkin pie, warm cookies and many pots of "good" coffee. I'm thankful for changing seasons.

We've had the opportunity lately to spend frequent, special time with family, friends & brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ. Some we've known our whole lives... Some throughout several years... Some meeting for the first time only recently. Times of celebration... Times of prayer... Times of praise... Times of fellowship... Times of laughter... Times of tears... Times of singing... Times of breaking bread together... Times of making memories... Times of rejoicing... I'm so thankful for those who God allows us to love & those who choose to love us in return.

Although life has been busy and full, I'm purposing to mentally & emotionally slow down and savor the richest & most precious blessings that God has been affording not only myself but our family as a whole. Blessings that don't fade away. Blessings that money can't buy. Blessings that only God Himself could lavish upon us.



I'm so thankful...

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before Him with thanksgiving
and extol Him with music and song.
For the Lord is the great God,
the great King above all gods.
In His hand are the depths of the earth,
and the mountain peaks belong to Him.
The sea is His, for He made it,
and His hands formed the dry land.
Come, let us bow down in worship,
let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;
for He is our God
and we are the people of His pasture,
the flock under His care.
Psalm 95:1~7

Approval...

Criticism, judgment, condemnation, negativity... These words describe the basis of a recent conversation our family converged in not too long ago. As I crawled into bed that evening, I felt very convicted of the ugliness that was dwelling within my heart. As I sought the Lord before falling to sleep, I boldly asked Him to cleanse me of the wrong attitude, thoughts & words that were residing within me. I asked Him to reveal to me why these things were there and the proper way to work through them. I wanted to understand, be corrected and learn from this situation.

The next morning as I awoke, the Lord seemed to impress the words approval, affirmation, acceptance & vanity upon my heart. The words continued to mull around in my heart, mind and soul and after Kyle left for work, I sat down with our dictionary & my Bible & journal. The question I felt the Lord was wanting me to ask myself was, "How much value should I place on the approval & acceptance that comes from others?" and "Is it vanity to do so?"

- approval -
*the act of approving
*permission, sanction
*subject to being tried or tested & rejected if not satisfactory

- approve -
*to speak or think favorably of
*to find acceptable
*to confirm or sanction formally
*to have a favorable view

- affirm -
*to assert positively; maintain as true
*to confirm or ratify
*to express agreement with; support; uphold

- vanity -
*excessive pride in oneself or one's appearance
*produced as a showcase for one's own performing talents

The more I studied, prayed and pondered, the more profoundly the Lord revealed to me that many times the reason I have a heart of criticism, judgment, condemnation & negativity with others is because I am trying to justify their lack of affirmation, acceptance & approval on my own life. Ever since I can remember, I have been a person that longs to be liked, accepted & "chosen". As I grew into an adult that part of me didn't change.

The other evening I left a situation feeling disapproved of, below the mark & less-than. To be honest, due to how Kyle feels God calling our family to walk, function & operate (which completely goes against the "norm"), we tend to get this inclination & reception from others quite often. From others that we love, respect & interact with on a regular basis. Instead of realigning my hurting heart with what God thinks of me & whether God approves of me & allowing God to reassure me that He accepts me, I in turn "justify" the lack of approval & acceptance from them by being critical, judgmental, negative & condemning...the exact things that I in the first place am hurt over.

God truly showed me that finding my value in others is vain...empty...futile...without significance/importance. When I seek to find the acceptance & approval of others, many times I become a slave to what they want, their opinions, their convictions & what they think is "best" rather than what God has instructed & how God has directed. As well, most of the time when others think they know "better" than we when it comes to the choices & decisions of our lives, they are looking at it from their own personal perspective...in the light of themselves rather than in light of God's specific and unique plan for our lives. Kyle diligently seeks the Lord as to "the way we should go" as a family & does not take lightly the instruction thereof. If we are following in obedience to the God of our salvation & I am humbly submitting to the spiritual leader of my life, the only ones I should seek to find value in, is my husband & my Lord!

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?
Or am I trying to please men?
If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galatians 1:10

As I've thought and prayed about this off-and-on for several days, visited about it with MaKayla & Mal & then discussed it again with Kyle, the Lord reaffirmed in me that any time I feel disapproval from others, instead of becoming defensive, I need to ask God if He approves. Whether it be a family issue, a church issue, a friend issue, a blog issue. If He reaffirms & brings peace to my heart, the conflict within me should be settled. If there is a lack of affirmation & peace, I must listen to the conviction that I am offered and realign myself accordingly.

Likewise, I must guard myself against doing that which I don't want others to do to me. It's never my place to question, judge or cast my approval/disapproval on the choice(s) someone else is making. That simply and plainly is between them and the Lord.

Slowly but consistently I am learning to find my value in Christ. Slowly but consistently I am learning to discipline myself against placing value on another. Determining whether the situation at hand that is making me unsettled is real or imagined... Ceasing to compare... Choosing to not look to the right or to the left... Setting my face like flint on Jesus...

He loves me beyond measure and that is truly all that matters!
He loves the other individual beyond measure and that is truly all that matters!

Case settled...Jesus is all that matters!

Peace In Knowing...

As I walked Kyle out the door for work this morning, the cool, brisk air swept across my face reminding me that fall is definitely on the way. The trees are beginning to slightly turn new autumn shades of color, farmers are beginning to work in the fields, it's darker longer in the mornings and the evenings are getting shorter. The dew is heavy on the grass, the deer are beginning to move about and the garden is pretty much finished with its bounty.

For me, today begins a "new season"...a new Bible study to work/learn/study through...a new candle warmly burning on the coffee table...a new time set on the alarm clock...a new three-ring binder filled with empty, waiting-to-be-filled grade/hour log sheets...new curriculum awaiting hands to grasp...a new school year.

I would admit that yesterday I was in somewhat of a frenzy trying to prepare and get things organized and although I can humbly say that I have done less this year to get ready than any other, I find myself this morning very much at peace. Peace in knowing that God has already gone before me. Peace in knowing that His ways are much greater than my own. Peace in knowing that His standards are all I am asked to meet and His requirements of perfection don't mirror or follow after the standards and perfection of the world. Peace in knowing that I am here at home with the two richest investments I could ever have been entrusted with and their hearts are the most important reality I will ever care for and nurture. Peace in knowing that this is the path that Kyle has chosen for our family through the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit. Peace in knowing that this is the best path for our family.

Today I am deeply grateful that God has filled our home with the presence of His Holy Spirit and that although Reading, Grammar, Math, Zoology 2, History, Chemistry, American Lit & Gov't are on the docket of things to get accomplished, my greatest goal is to love without limits the two lives I am leading, training and impacting.

Love it patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4~8