Much...

There is something moving about the newness of a freshly breathed morning. Especially when it is touched by a good cup of coffee under a warm fuzzy blanket with the love of my life. At this point my day is uniquely quiet since MaKayla accompanied Kyle to his workplace for a time of "job shadowing" and Mallary is still peacefully sleeping.

After Kyle and MaKayla left I gathered my journal, my Bible and my coffee and headed outside to drink in the freshness of today. As I sat there listening to the birds, feeling the breeze, marveling at the rising sun, the Lord reminded me that He has much for me in this upcoming segment of time...the day ahead. He reminded me that He has much for me to learn, much for me to see, much for me to take in. He reminded me that He has much love to shower over my heart and much direction to give to this "segment of time". He then asked me a few questions?

? Will you be still enough to listen?

? Will you allow Me to break up the fallow ground that is keeping you from hearing?

? Will you allow Me to test you so that I can reveal the areas that are keeping you from making much of Me?

? Will you allow Me to remove those impurities so that the soil of your heart will be prepared for planting?

? Will you allow the seed of My voice to fall gently and penetrate deeply so that it can be fruitful and produce abundantly?

As Kyle and I visited this morning about fallow ground and the effect that it has on our lives, we marveled at God's provision. We marveled that He is always, faithfully one step ahead of us. We are both realizing and recognizing more and more how as we keep our eyes on Him, He is, unbeknown to us, working the soil of our hearts to receive what He desires to teach us. It's like He is tilling, turning and preparing the crusty ground so that His seeds will be received and then as we are silent and listen, they will take root, grow strong, produce fruit and make much of a harvest for Him. Nothing in and of ourselves, but only by His grace.

Kyle and I were blessed to be able to attend a homeschool conference in a neighboring state last weekend and as hard as Satan tried to keep us from "arriving" there (literally), the Lord overcame each obstacle as He had much for us. I'm so thankful that He pushed us to not grow faint and that we kept our eyes on Him and persevered. To put it lightly, it was a weekend of transformation for Kyle.

For several months now, the Lord has been preparing Kyle's heart for the people that were chosen to share and the words that were inspired to be spoken in the workshops that he/we attended. He has been preparing him to release the burden of condemnation in order to tightly grip the richness of grace. He has been preparing him to reject the defeat of inadequacy in order to receive the triumph of confidence. He has been preparing Him to let go of the fear of insecurity only to find the power and strength in God's divine presence, direction and anointing as he, in, with and through love, manages and governs our home.

At the same time, God has been tilling the hardness of my heart in order for me to become a wife of submission, reverence and affirmation. A wife that follows instead of leads. A wife that submits instead of controls. A wife that affirms instead of questions. A wife that listens more and talks less. A wife that learns instead of instructs. A wife that makes much of her man rather than cuts him down. A wife that in making much of her man, honors the Lord. He has been preparing me to take the supporting role rather than the leading role.

Last weekend I saw the seeds fall and this week I have witnessed the seeds take root.

In Kyle's heart, in my heart, in our home.

God, without us knowing beforehand,
tilled the fallow ground.

The impurities were removed...

the soil was prepared...

the seeds fell...

two hearts received...

Much for Jesus...

Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the Lord,
until He comes and showers righteousness on you.
Hosea 10:12

Blemished/Crippled/Diseased Sacrifices...

The message the Lord brought through Pastor Bob yesterday really spoke to my heart. It was one of those messages that instantly caused me to think deep and closely examine. I'm still pondering, considering, listening...

"A son honors his father, and a servant his master.
If I am a father, where is the honor due me?
If I am a master, where is the respect due me?"
says the Lord Almighty.
"It is you, O priests, who show contempt for my name.
"But you ask, 'How have we shown contempt for your name?'

"You place defiled food on my altar.
"But you ask, 'How have we defiled you?'
"By saying that the Lord's table is contemptible.

When you bring blind animals for sacrifice,
is that not wrong?
When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals,
is that not wrong?
Try offering them to your governor!
Would he be pleased with you?
Would he accept you?
says the Lord Almighty.

"Now implore God to be gracious to us.
With such offerings from your hands,
will he accept you?"
--says the Lord Almighty.

"Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors,
so that you would not light useless fires on my altar!
I am not pleased with you,"
says the Lord Almighty,
"and I will accept no offering from your hands.

My name will be great among the nations,
from the rising to the setting of the sun.
In every place incense and pure offerings will
be brought to my name,
because my name will be great among the nations,"
says the Lord Almighty.

"But you profane it by saying of the Lord's table,
'It is defiled,'
and of its food,
'It is contemptible.'

And you say,
'What a burden!'
and you sniff at it contemptuously,"
says the Lord Almighty.
"When you bring injured,
crippled or diseased animals and offer them as sacrifices,
should I accept them from your hands?"
says the Lord.

"Cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male
in his flock and vows to give it,
but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord.
For I am a great king,"
says the Lord Almighty,
"and my name is to be feared among the nations.

Malachi 1:6~14

As I have read and reflected over these verses again this morning the ringing question in my ear is:

*In what areas of my life
do I offer blemished sacrifices to the Lord?

~in my marriage...
~in my giving (tithes)...
~in my service...
~in my worship...
~in my time...
~in my homeschooling...
~in my parenting...
~in my housework...

As I listed these things, the Lord then brought these questions to my heart...

*How often do I do things half-heartedly?

*How often do I do "just enough" to get by?

*How often do I "give enough" to get by?

*How often do I do things with a reluctant heart?

*Do I truly give my best for God?


*Am I laying a crippled sacrifice on His altar?

My heart is stirring...
I feel convicted...
I all too often give my Saviour much less than my best...
He gave His ALL for me...

The real most important question is...

*What will I do with the instruction I have been given?

Good...

Life is good...real good! We have settled into our summer schedule which has been refreshing and enjoyable. In years past, I have had lofty goals of keeping somewhat of a routine throughout June, July and August but within a matter of days have lost sight of those aspirations. Alot has changed in our home over the past several months and through those changes, determination in a vast number of areas has emerged, school and our view of what a "productive life" looks like being just two of them.


Another young man in a community near where we live chose to take his own life late last week, this life adding evidence that there are a growing number of souls feeling no hope. I'm totally unaware of the details of the situation however the reality of it has been a distinct reminder to Kyle and I the value of deeply and richly investing in our children. We used to be so "driven" to jump at every opportunity, work tirelessly to make a living, serve unceasingly in our church, strive to involve our kids in every sport they wanted to partake in, running here and there spending very little "quality~quantity" time at home. In the past year we have let nearly everything go in order to "find family". We've simplified ALOT and in turn we have gained great wealth in embracing life...each other...God's richest gifts. It's been an amazing blessing and we are so thankful for how the Lord speaks, leads and lights the way before us. Life is good...


Kyle and I are being reminded that we only have our children for such a short amount of time. In that time it is our responsibility to instill in them a love for the Lord, a love for people, a love for life, a love for following hard after God. In that time it is up to us to make them feel loved, important, valuable, adequate... In that time we are instructed to teach them how to emerge out of the shell of security that they find in us and in turn put that refuge in Jesus. We are to encourage them to feed, rest, develop and be nurtured so that when the appointed time comes, they are ready to break out, find their wings and go wherever God leads.


This summer we are doing alot of living, learning and loving and so far it has been so good! I would have to say and I think all of us would agree that with the exception of Kyle working six-days-a-week, it has been one of the best summers yet. The girls and I are staying refreshed in their studies, we are doing alot of family reading, our pool is getting much use, the grill is sizzling most every night, a mowed walking path around the pond sees several steps in a day and our ZTR mower seat gets warmed nearly twice a week from all of the rain and sun we have been receiving. We're going alot less and staying home alot more. Life is good...


I find myself so thankful this day for the awesome God who gives us life and life more abundantly. Not just a good God, but an AWESOME God! Not just a good life, but an ABUNDANT life! Abundant even when the day does seem long or the road never ceases to end.


I find myself so thankful this day for the two richest blessings He ever could have given me to nurture, love, teach, train and enjoy! Not just good blessings, but RICH blessings! Each day I awake, I look so forward to the moments I get to spend with MaKayla and Mallary making memories.


I find myself so thankful this day for the amazing man God chose to complete my life. Not just a good man, but an AMAZING man...AMAZING in EVERY way! Apart from the Lord, Kyle is my life and my breath and I adore him!

Life is good and I am thankful!

Great is the Lord,
and greatly to be praised in the city of our God,
in the mountain of His holiness.
Psalm 48:1

Faithful Friday...

This morning as I prepared for my day ahead, I spent time praying for Kyle and his work day ahead. I prayed that God would shower Him with wisdom, strength and joy. I prayed that the work of his hands would be fruitful and that even in our absence he would feel my love. I prayed that he would find fulfillment and completion in the tasks before him and that he would shine the light of Jesus to all those he came in contact with. Kyle's job is just that...a job. It's not something he has a passion for or loves to do. Many days it's an effort to be joyful in what he does. He's worked at the same place of employment for over twenty years and although it (the job) has provided for our needs, it is in no way Kyle's dream job. Oh how I wish that he could lay it all down and pick something else up...something that challenges him, enthralls him, fulfills him. Some day the Lord will provide "that job". Until then, Kyle is determined to be a faithful employee who gives his best at what he is entrusted with and at the same time share God's love with those he is in contact with on a daily basis.

I have been reading 'Created To Be His Help Meet' by Debi Pearl and although I have some firm/strong reservations and discrepancies (as does Kyle) with some of the content/teaching of the book, it has challenged me to be a more thankful and respectful wife. It has enlightened me to look at Kyle differently...in a more respectful, reverential way. It has encouraged me to see him truly for who he is rather than who I might think he should be. It's caused me to appreciate him more.

As I prayed, the Lord once again reminded me what a blessed woman I am to have such a faithful husband as Kyle.
He reminded me what a gift I have in this man that I call husband, lover, best friend, helpmeet, comforter, nurturer, provider...
He reminded me of what a treasure Kyle's faithfulness, gentleness, love, care, compassion and friendship is to my life.
He reminded me what an amazing man I have to call my own.

Today I am thankful for a faithful husband!
He is my Jesus-in-the-flesh!
Thank you God for this indescribable gift!

Thankful Thursday...

For this one, I am so thankful...

I love you much my Baby-Boo...

Worth-It-Wednesday...

My best friend from High School was back last week for a visit. Let me tell you, for the past two months, ever since learning of her trip "home", I've dreaded the reality of it all. Why, you might ask? As I told Renee', having her here is wonderful, amazing, like old times...yet when the moment comes to part ways, I conclude that it would be easier for her not to come at all. Renee' and I go back a long way. We've walked many a mile together. We've shared many memories. We've done some really stupid things. We've laughed together in the good times. We've cried together through tragedies, death, heartaches and loneliness. We've rejoiced over babies born, accomplishments achieved and the fullness of life. We've sat in silence when there were no words. We've chatted on the phone for hours. She's an "along-with-me" friend and I am so thankful for her life.

So when I think back to this time last Wednesday, sitting at the kitchen table, eating cinnamon rolls, visiting, thinking about our day ahead together, I am reminded that our time together was, oh so worth it...

I didn't take many pictures for I wanted to "freeze" our time together in my mind...in my heart...in my spirit... It was fantastic having her here and when the time came to go our separate ways, I said my good-byes, told her I loved her and walked away without looking back...

She came...

She went...

We loved it while she was here...
Thanks Renee'...
Our time together was worth it...
(The pain of saying good-bye, that is...)

Adequacy...

We had such an awesome weekend together as a family...it seemed like a mini-vacation since Kyle actually had four days off of work. The continual six-day work weeks had really begun to drain us and we NEEDED the time to reconnect. The "down time" that the Lord afforded us was refreshment to our spirits, our minds, our bodies. It was a time of renewal for our lives as individuals as well as our marriage and our family. We swam, fished and sat under the shade tree and read together. Kyle restrung his orange guitar, worked on his fishing poles and completed some odd jobs around the house. We slept in, ate waffles and spent fun time with family playing ball, soaking up the sun, eating, relaxing, catching up and enjoying being together. We rejoiced over a new life that will be joining our family in November/December and stood in awe of images of this precious creation. We cranked up the fire pit, took a drive and recounted all the things we are thankful for. We let our minds rest...

(notice the bottom half of Kyle's body about to go under...)

(paybacks aren't as much fun... :o)

(Kyle's perennial bed before...)

(after...)

(MaKayla's quite albino compared to Bri...)

As Kyle and I continue to study, prepare and teach together the reality and necessity of spiritual warfare against familiar spirits, we find ourselves bit-by-bit being transformed. We found ourselves this past weekend allowing the Lord to deeply plant in our hearts and minds the truth and promise of His adequacy in our lives. Adequacy that enriches and defines our lives as individuals and then spills over into our marriage, our family, our friendships, our church...our day-to-day acquaintances. How will we ever know, experience and spread joy if we don't know who we are in Christ? How will we ever be confident, fulfilled and complete if we don't find our core value and worth in Him?

Kyle and I individually are realizing more and more how we have depended on people, accomplishments, jobs and things to bring us worth, affirmation and purpose when the only place we should look is our God, our Creator, our Saviour and our Lord.

We are at a point in our Sunday School Class where we are learning how to defeat the devil when he begins to tempt us with his lies and deception. We are learning how we need to audibly remind him who we are in Christ so that he will flee from our presence. We are learning that God has a specific plan and purpose for our lives as His children and until we realize His love, value and adequacy in us, we will never feel good enough, worthy enough, adequate enough. We are learning that we must know His promises, stand on His promises, walk in confidence with His promises. We are learning that our adequacy comes from Him and Him alone...not in a job, nor a ministry. Not in a friend, nor in a bank account. Not in a title, nor in our children. Not in an ability, nor in a talent. Not in a car, nor in a house. Not in an accomplishment, nor in an achievement. In the blink of an eye, all of these things can be taken from us. If they were, would we still feel value, purpose, worthy, adequate?

Too much of my 38 years of life has been a roller coaster...up one day, down the next...
All based on where my value at the time is originating. I'm thankful that I don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations or that the wrong I've done in the past defines my worth. I'm thankful that when someone "can't understand" how I am living or why I do the things I do that my life loses value. I'm thankful that who I am is not based on how I was raised or whether people agree with the choices I make. I'm thankful that opportunities missed don't keep me from God's provision today or from His path for my future.

I am learning to stand on and believe that my adequacy comes from Christ and Christ alone!

I know that nothing good lives in me,
that is in my sinful nature.
Romans 7:18

You did not choose me,
but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit --
fruit that will last.
John 15:16

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world
to be holy and blameless in His sight.
Ephesians 1:4