It. Was. Wonderful.

Absent.
That's what I've been.
Absent.

Today was Kyle's second day back to normal work after having nearly two weeks here at home with us girls. His place of employment had an eleven-day-shutdown/vacation which we had greatly been looking forward to but then the Sunday before that was to start, his only living grandma passed away which put him off of work two days earlier than everyone else. Although we were saddened by the circumstances, we loved having the additional two days with him.

Still trying to catch up from MaKayla's graduation, we decided that we would use this time to stay home, relax & just be together. It. Was. Wonderful. We went very few places & did very few things. Our goal was to conserve money and invest in one another every moment of every day. We did and... It. Was. Wonderful.

We spent much time in the pool...

We pitched the tent in the backyard & slept under the stars (and moon)...

We cooked over the fire pit. (Kyle did. The girls & I watched. :)...

We studied God's Word together...

We relished in God's beauty...

We worked in the garden...

We celebrated a life well lived...

We enjoyed quiet time on the patio over cinnamon rolls & a good cup of coffee...

We shot off some fireworks...

We spent time with cousins...

We loved being with family...

We celebrated a birthday...

We simply loved life...
We loved one another...
We loved God...

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Through this shutdown time, the Lord has really been speaking to Kyle & I about various things. To be honest, it's been a tough "season" for Kyle... As many of you can relate, specific circumstances & situations have a tendency to "resurface" past pain... Past memories... Past heartache... Past trials...

The past...

We want to ignore it.
We want to suppress it.
We want to deny that which we need to face.
We just want to move on with life & not look back...

Sometimes that's fruitful...
Yet sometimes...
Sometimes it withholds healing...
Sometimes it prevents resolve...
Sometimes it keeps us prisoner to ourselves...

23 years ago Kyle lost a cousin who was also his very best friend...
Kyle was only one day older...
Their birthdays were the same year...
One day apart...

Same class in school...
Same interests...
Same hometown...

A very painful season-of-life for Kyle for many reasons...

It just so happens that the cemetery we laid his grandma's body to rest in is the same cemetery he laid his cousin to rest in as well...

23 years ago...

We don't go visit...
He doesn't speak of it...
It's painful...
It resurfaces things, memories, self-worth, emotions, loss that is easier ignored...
Until...
Until the Lord says,
"Now is the time."
"Today is the day."
"This is the season.""
"Surrender."
"Run. To. Me."

We simply can't have freedom over an area of life we can't bring ourselves to face.
We won't find courage to be who God desires us to be when we deny what we feel.
We will fail to be victorious if we bury the reality of who we see ourselves as.

God's Word is Truth.
That's the hopeful reality...
We must walk in who He says we are...

It has been a wonderful shutdown but a painful one at that.

There have been mountains.
There have been valleys.

There has been laughter.
There have been tears.

There has been conflict.
There has been resolve.

With God on our side, it's ALL good!
Minute-by-minute...
Day-by-day...
Healing is manifested.
Life is regenerated.
We are one day closer to Jesus.
I simply can't imagine life without Him...

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.

 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:1,5