Pondering...

This morning's devotion really "stuck" me therefore I am still pondering the concept that was meant to be conveyed... Kyle and I discussed it in great length here at home before he left and then again when he called me as he was getting closer to work... It's alot to wrap my mind around however something that God is really convicting me of and wanting me to examine... A concept that I need to gain a greater understanding of, receive it's truth and then determine to discipline myself to live it... A concept that is "hard" for me given the love I have for people and the heart I have for encouraging others...

Paul's idea of service was to pour his life out to the last drop for others. And whether he received praise or blame made no difference. As long as there was one human being who did not know Jesus, Paul felt a debt of service to that person until he did come to know Him. But the chief motivation behind Paul's service was not love for others but love for his Lord. If our devotion is to the cause of humanity, we will be quickly defeated and broken-hearted, since we will often be confronted with a great deal of ingratitude from other people. But if we are motivated by our love for God, no amount of ingratitude will be able to hinder us from serving one another.
~ Oswald Chambers

I now have a better understanding of why all-too-often my love for others is so "conditional"... I see that it is "conditional" because I have based much of what I do on my love for them rather than on my love for God and when they disappoint me, frustrate me, fall short of my expectations or are ungrateful, I feel as though all I have done has been for naught. If I based my service for others solely on my love for God and kept my eyes intently focused upon Him, I wouldn't be aware of the disappointment, frustration or ungratefulness...I wouldn't place unfair or unrealistic expectations on their lives for I would realize that they are called to live according to God's plan and purpose for their lives and not mine. If I based my service for others solely on my love for God and kept my eyes intently focused upon Him, my love would become "unconditional" for I wouldn't even notice the reaction of others or be affected by their response due to the fact that I have the assurance that I have fulfilled what God has called me to do.

The pondering of this has brought certain questions to my mind...
*How differently would my Christian service look if I based it solely on my love for God rather than on my love for people?
*What would I do that I am failing to do now?
*What would I cease to do that I now am doing?
*How would my love for God change?
*How would my love for people change?

For me, the reality of living this concept would take multitudes of discipline. I am an impulsive encourager...when I see someone hurting or in need, I want to jump right in and "fix" it...I want to be the "hero, savior, comforter"...I want to do it all, be it all, save it all, fix it all...
Hmmm...sounds a little like I am trying to take the place of the One and Only Savior, Comforter, Healer, Teacher and Friend... For me, the reality of living this concept means taking every thought, inspiration, action, service captive and placing it before the throne of grace and allowing my Father to purify and test it with fire...allowing Him to reveal to me if it is my love for Him that is the fuel behind what I am desiring to do or if it is simply my love for another. The line is so fine in knowing this concept, receiving this concept and living this concept because time and time again through scripture, we are called to serve others and love others yet our service to others should ALWAYS be motivated by our love for God. Our service should ALWAYS be based on what He has laid on our hearts and called us to do not just what we "want" to do or what "feels right"... My love has been "conditional" and now I think I see why...

I'm pondering...want to join me?

P.S.) I won't ponder long, for when I do, I over analyze and then the Truth becomes watered down...I want to receive the Word in fullness, richness and depth...I don't want to be a mere hearer but more importantly a doer...