Am I Willing... Thoughts from MaKayla...

This past couple of months or so have been very difficult ones for me. They have been times of God being somewhat silent, wanting me to "search and find".

He had some very important lessons for me to learn and being the over analyzing person I am, I could not grasp some of those concepts. God was desiring me to "step up" and come to a different level in my walk with Him, learning as Mom has said in her blog posts these past few days, to think on what I know not on how I feel, and to allow God to be "enough" for me. To make Him my security and hope, relying on Him to be my All. Through this time Mom and Dad have encouraged me, loved me, supported me, prayed for me, and held me accountable, yet as Mom and I talked yesterday morning she reminded me that I had to learn these lessons for myself, neither she or Dad could learn them for me. It is a very helpless and hopeless feeling to know that those you love and are closest to you can't help you, however it is so comforting to know that God can!

The thing that He has truly impressed upon me throughout this time of purifying and cleansing, along with those very important lessons is, "Are you willing to go through the fire for Me? Are you willing to endure hardship and be completely broken so that I can have My way in you?" I will admit that at moments through this time of "stepping up", I have not been willing. I just wanted immediate relief from the war being waged within me... that's where I was yesterday morning. I couldn't see my way out of the pit that I was in and when God asked me "Are you willing?", my first response was, "No." I was tired of feeling empty, broken, and stuck. I knew I needed to be in His word, but wasn't sure where would be a good place to start that I would be able to relate to at the moment so I called Mom. She encouraged me to open the back of my Bible where it has readers helps and find verses that responded to how I was feeling. While searching the scriptures I came across two particular verses:

"For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the Lord your Redeemer.
~Isaiah 54: 7-8~

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not
consumed, for His compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; GREAT is you faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion: therefore I will wait for Him."
~Lamentations 3: 21-24~

God ever so gently reminded me that He may be silent, He may not be making everything "okay" right then, but He will! He is faithful and He will comfort us, and after He had shown that to me, He asked me again, "Are you willing to go through the fire to be cleansed and purified?" At that moment I allowed God to work in me. I surrendered myself to Him and immediately a certain quiet peace and joy washed over me that I never thought would come!

Things may be difficult and seem hopeless, but I can guarantee you that the longer we refuse God, the worse we feel and the longer it takes for us to receive that "quiet peace and joy"! Are we willing to be cleansed and purified with fire?

God~
I praise You that although situations and circumstances in our live seem hopeless, You are always present and You will always give us sweet peace and rest, if we will only let you!