Whose Road...

I so love how God knows exactly what I need when my focus gets a little (or alot) off-course in order to gently pull me back to Himself. I guess I don't know why the thought of that is so awesome to me given the fact that He has known me from the beginning of time and He created me within my momma's womb to be who I am today. Just the thought that He always has His eye on me and He is continually directing my steps if I will only listen. I am finding that the more time I spend in His presence, the more I long to be with him...much like my relationship with Kyle. (I've always said that Kyle was my Jesus in the flesh!) I am learning that the closer I stay within His reach, the easier it is to get back on track when I do begin to go down my own road.

Last night I was extremely tired and normally the attitude that I fall asleep with, is the attitude in which I awake...another lesson I am learning. Sure enough, when the alarm began to sing, "It's a new day", at 5:00 a.m. this morning, I thought, "No way. I'm not ready for a new day. I'm so tired and I just want to sleep." I laid there dozing off-and-on as I wallowed in all the reasons as to why I was still so tired. After some time, I arose and reluctantly began my day. By the time Kyle left I was feeling cramped for time because of my own inflicted laziness and when he called driving to work, my "cramped" feeling was quickly escalating into right out grumpiness and agitation. He could tell in my voice that I was heading down "my road" and lovingly vowed to intercede on my behalf in the remainder of his drive! Immediately the Lord ever so gently spoke, "Mendi, whose day is it and where is your focus? Why are you dwelling on tiredness after I have blessed you with a refreshing night's sleep? Who are you glorifying through the attitude you are inviting in? My dear child, I love you, draw close unto Me." I knew at this point I had a choice...stay the course on "my own road" causing undeserving frustration and consequences for my girls (and anyone else I come in contact with), saturating myself in self-pity and making it a miserable day or laying down my self-sin, changing my course, regaining direction and following the Holy Spirit back to "His road". Immediately I surrendered my will in order to pursue hard after His.

As I opened Oswald (my daily devotion), the scripture that bore deep into my eyes and penetrated my heart was,

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You."
Isaiah 26:3

Did God know what I needed? No doubt, no question, absolutely!!!

It's a NEW DAY and I am eager for everything the Lord has in store!