Who's Love...

Is it Thursday already? The days go by ever-so-quickly and our week has been one of uniqueness yet of fullness and I am thankful for the way in which the Lord has directed our steps and the various things He has led us to do and the peculiar people He has called us to be. After weeks such as this one, I find rest and peace in my confidence in Him. A rest and peace that floods over my whole being confident that we are doing what He has called us to do, being who He has called us to be, serving where He has called us to serve... I guess the reason I am so aware of that confidence, peace and rest is because there have been so many other times (too numerous to count), where I have been flooded with regret, guilt, strife, unrest and discontentment that stemmed from the knowledge that I "stepped out" on my own, doing what I wanted to do, being who I wanted to be, serving where I wanted to serve... It's these times that I have leaned on my own understanding, acted out of my fleshly knowledge and desires, "stepped out" from underneath the umbrella of God's authority, and lost sight of my submission to Him. I am reminded of the post He prompted me to write a little over a week ago on Wednesday, February 24th, yet He is taking it to a "deeper level"...hammering in a little more...pressing in a little further...revealing a little clearer...discipline.

As Kyle and I sat in a hospital waiting room early yesterday morning, we discussed what counterfeiting God's love looked like...to us, the ones extending it...to the receiver, the individual we are extending it to...to God, the originator of the love itself. We discussed how "right" it feels when we know we are walking in, being obedient of, and delivering, the love that God has called us to show forth. We discussed how "empty" it feels when we are stepping out, reacting on and striving to prove a love that is solely our own and not something God has ordained. A love that is impulsive...a love that is driven by self...a love that is fueled by duty...a love that is motivated by personal gain. We know what each of these feel like as the giver and the receiver, for we have been given and have received both...we've given to others counterfeit love and pure love...we've received from someone else counterfeit love and the pure love of God.

As I thought over our visit again this morning, these things came to mind:

*I wonder how often I counterfeit the love of God to others through my impulsive, unsubmissive heart?
*I wonder how often my emotions, sympathies or understandings jump ahead of God's heart and will?
*I wonder how often I "do things" to ease the pain and hurt of others that block out their view of God...looking at me instead of Him?
*I wonder how often I step in the way and distract others from seeing God clearly? Hearing Him fully? Understanding Him completely?

Thinking on these things and having the Lord ask me these questions humbled me greatly. A year-or-so-ago, the Lord very vividly revealed to me thru A.W. Tozer's book 'The Pursuit of God' that "self-promotion" was a "self-sin" I possessed and I am finding in a fresh way where having a "self-promoting" heart has driven me to counterfeit God's love more times than I could ever begin to count. My Lord brought me to a broken place of repentance this morning...

May I always be aware of when I am about to counterfeit God's love...when that "self-promoting" spirit is about to get in the way...when I am acting on impulsive love...when I am tempting others to look at me rather than on God...when I am blocking someone's view of who God wants to be in their lives...when I am trying to ease the pain, hurt or suffering in a heart that God has divinely allowed into an individuals life in order to grow them, teach them, refine them and draw them unto Him...when I am failing to submit and fall under the authority of our Maker, Master and Creator...when I am falling short of being disciplined...

I have much peace, rest and confidence this day knowing that I am doing what He has called me to do, I am being who He has called me to be, I am serving where He has called me to serve and I am walking where He has called me to go.

I am thankful for that peace, rest and confidence for I know from where it cometh...