Rejoice...

Rejoice in the Lord always.

I will say it again: Rejoice!
Let your gentleness be evident to all.
The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything,
with prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers,
whatever is true,
whatever is noble,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable~
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy~
think about such things.

I am not saying this because I am in need,
for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need,
and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content
in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry,
whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through Him
who gives me strength.

And my God will meet all your needs
according to His glorious riches in
Christ Jesus.
To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever.
Amen

Philippians 4: 4~9; 11~13; 19~20

I was not at all ready for Kyle to start another work week this morning. It was so bad that by mid-evening last night I was in tears just thinking that I would be away from him all day today. I know it sounds childish and immature but... Ever since Kyle and I began dating in the summer of 1989 we have pretty much done everything together. Where one is, the other one is there beside. Where one goes, the other one is right along. We just function best "together"! It doesn't help that he has been working six-day work weeks therefore Sunday is our only "full day" together and when you take out Sunday mornings for Sunday School and Church, that only leaves a half-a-day a week... As he was preparing to walk out the door this morning, he reminded me to REJOICE in the LORD... He encouraged me to read over this portion of scripture and be encouraged by it!


I am so thankful for God's Word! I am so thankful for the nourishment it brings to my soul! I am so thankful for Kyle...my husband, my man, my leader, my best-friend and my spiritual counselor! I am blessed this day and I will rejoice!

Inadequacy...

I've been mulling over in my mind this morning what I might do a post on and as I sat in the quietness a few hours ago, the Lord began instructing my heart regarding the trap of comparison. It seems to be a an attribute of weakness that several of us struggle with in our home. We tend to look at others and then compare, judge and measure. The end result either leaves us feeling puffed up or totally defeated, neither that are condoned or accepted by God, rather the opposite. As I thought about the reality of comparing, judging and measuring, the Lord reminded me that each of us are created as unique individuals and the only life we should strive to pattern our lives after is Him, Jesus. It seems that when we look at others or to others we walk away wanting what they have (physically, spiritually, materially), or wishing we could be what they are, or doing what they're doing, or living the way they are living. I guess that is why the Bible instructs us to not look to the right or to the left but straight ahead at the One who crafted us, created us, and designed us. To look at the One who has a specific purpose for our lives without correlation to anyone else. You would think we would have this down by now given the fact that the past two weeks and in the one to come, our Sunday School Class has been/will be learning about the spirit of inadequacy. A spirit that originated from the deceiver himself in order to bring destruction and defeat on God's children. A spirit that tempts us to question how equipped we really are. A spirit that when entertained always leaves us empty, discontent and unsatisfied. A spirit that brings about self-pity and unfruitfulness. A spirit that keeps us stuck-in-the-mud and paralyzes us from doing great things for God. A spirit that if not careful will sneak in and become a "friend" to our children as well.


As I sat in the stillness, the Lord lovingly reminded me that I am His and He is mine and because of that reality, I need not look at anyone but Him, the Author and Perfector of my faith.

My Girls...

I'm not exactly sure where the time goes but lately reality has been knocking on my door. I think it all started when we began thinking about and preparing for Bri's graduation that is a little over a week away! MaKayla is working on a special project/gift for her and in turn we've been digging through the past sixteen-plus years. To be honest, it's kind of put me in a docile, melancholy mood and when you mix that with lots of rain and cool temperatures, it has a tendency to make one heart-sick...literally!?! That "one" is me... I'm sure once the gifts are given, the food is eaten, the decorations are put away and the realness of witnessing Bri's face with the sound of the Pomp & Circumstance is behind me, warmth will fill my heart again...

~MaKayla~

~My Girls~

~Mallary~

I must admit that although I LOVED when my girls were babies and toddlers, I find that I "enjoy" them more the older they get. I loved their smell, their innocence, their cuteness, their quest to constantly learn something new... My girls are growing up...rapidly!?! Instead of persistent care, I get to fellowship with them. Instead of just being their mom, I now get to be their friend as well. Instead of them doing their thing and I doing mine, we do things together. Instead of me being alone to fix dinner in the kitchen, they now are preparing meals right alongside me. Instead of Old Maid, we now challenge one another to Scrabble, Monopoly, Canasta or Yahtzee. We enjoy Happy Hour at Sonic, lengthy chats sitting on the patio, mastering jigsaw puzzles and just "hanging-out"! On the other side of all those "grown up benefits" that brings joy to my life, my heart still aches when I face the reality that my girls are growing up!?!


I am grateful for the work the Lord has done in my life over the years as I have raised, taught and nurtured my girls. In that time, the Lord has raised, nurtured and taught me as well! MaKayla would be the first to attest that her momma isn't the same woman she was in the first 10-12 years of her life!?! No question about it, she's glad I am who I am now and not who I used to be!?! Don't ask her any details for what she would tell you might be scary!?! I love learning with them, growing with them and simply being with them! They have brought so much joy to my life through the course of time and I'm so thankful for the relationship that we share!

My girls are a rich treasure to my heart and I daily thank God for them!

Abnormal...

But ye are a chosen generation,
a royal priesthood,
an holy nation,
a peculiar people
that ye should shew forth the praises of
Him who hath called you out of darkness
into His marvelous light:
1 Peter 2:9

Believe me, there are alot of people out there who think we are "different". As a matter of fact a few years back someone asked MaKayla if we were Amish? I'm not really sure where they came up with that one but they did. I guess maybe it's because our girls don't go to a "normal" school and we don't function like "normal" families. Maybe it's because I stay home or because MaKayla and Mallary don't participate in "normal" activities. Maybe it's because we work as a family and everyone participates in that work. Anyway, while in the car the other evening MaKayla made the comment, "I just want to thank you guys for raising Mal and I to be abnormal. I'm glad we are different." (Mind you, MaKayla will soon be 16 so this is not a conversation you would hear coming from a "typical" 16-year-old.) It sparked quite a discussion amongst the four of us allowing us to reflect on why we believe what we believe, why we live the way we live, why we function the way we function, why we dress the way we dress, why we are who we are...

MaKayla has arrived at the age where she is placed in positions of making decisions. Positions where she must put to use what she has been taught over the past 15 plus years. Positions where she is compelled to pray and seek God's guidance. Positions where she must discern what is God's perfect will rather than His permissible will. Positions where she must deny the flesh and follow hard after the Spirit. She was recently placed in one of those positions which is what brought about this discussion. She was thanking her dad and I for raising her right and training her up in the nurturing and admonition of the Lord. She shared how it made the "position of decision" much easier to make.

We once again found ourselves hashing over some of these things late in the evening on Sunday so I asked MaKayla to list the attributes, teachings, standards that she feels makes she and Mallary abnormal in the eyes of the world. Monday morning she brought me this neat and itemized list:
*spending time with God in order to grow in our relationship with Him...
*not allowing us to get caught up in worldly distractions (cell phones, Facebook, ect.)...
*teaching us at home...
*teaching us to be modest and act feminine...
*teaching us to be respectful towards adults...
*keeping our minds pure (no cable t.v., only Christian music, no PG-13 or R rated movies)...
*teaching us to remain physically pure until marriage...
*teaching us to value God's opinion over anyone else's and not to conform...

God's Word teaches us to be a peculiar people...set-apart...non-conforming. The reality of this means different things for different people depending on how God specifically speaks to their hearts. Each family is different. God created us all unique. I don't think it means constantly "proving points" or making ourselves "stand out". It means living a humble obedient life that glorifies our Lord.

(maybe we are a little abnormal) :o}

Beautiful Bri...

The days are ticking down and to be honest, my heart is pretty sad...
Marci's (my only sister) youngest daughter Briana will be graduating in just a few short weeks. The mere thought of her marching into the gymnasium in a cap and gown is more than my mind can fathom. The mere thought of it makes me weep...literally. Bri has always been very, very close to my heart and I love her just like she's one of my own. I love to see her smile! My heart stirs when the phone rings and I recognize the number "as hers"! I'm honored any time she decides to drop down for a visit. Not only am I crazy about her but the other three in this house are as equally so. Bri and MaKayla have been especially close ever from day one. They have spent hours upon hours together throughout the years and their birthdays are only a few days apart which makes the bond even a little tighter. A few weeks back, Bri attended her last prom and we were blessed to be present and enjoy the day with her.

MaKayla did the toes...

Big sister "D" doing the make-up...

My girls...

Bri and MaKayla...

Bri and Mal...

Adam plays college football...
He broke his nose the week before...
Hence the dark circles under his eyes...

A little sloppy outside...
I'll the hold the umbrella for my girl any day...

Bri and Uncle Kyle

All The Fullness of God...

Kyle left home early this morning in order to meet a good friend for breakfast. These two men decided and agreed a few weeks back that getting together for accountability was something that they both needed. Kyle didn't get very far from home before he received a call from his spiritual brother saying he had a flat tire and would be late for their meeting. "It's not holding air. I can hurry and change it and be there as soon as possible...". Kyle didn't want him to have to rush around and feel pushed for time. Not a great way to start a day, and since they only have about 40 minutes together anyway, they decided to postpone their meeting. Kyle wasn't too far down the road so he came back home and we had "a good cup of coffee" together over God's Word. Mmmmm! I love little, unexpected surprises like that. It was an AWESOME way to start my day!

As we sat here at our dining room/school table with our Bibles, he asked me to turn to Ephesians 3. We read over a good portion of scripture that held so much richness but the part that stuck out to me the most was:

...and to know this love that surpasses knowledge---
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:19

We discussed in great length what this "looks like" in a believers life. Not what we think it is or not what it appears to be but what it "looks like" being lived out. Do we act like we are filled to the measure of ALL the fullness of God? Or better yet, do we believe we are filled to the measure with the fullness of God? If we don't believe it, how can we live it? Our commentary here at home gives an explanation like this:

To be so strong spiritually, so compelled by divine love, that one is totally dominated by the Lord with nothing left of self. Believers can experience the greatness of God in their lives as a result of total devotion to Him.

Pastor Bob's message on Sunday spoke of being "stretched" spiritually...asking God boldly and consistently to fill us fuller...to keep on knocking...to keep on asking...to keep on seeking...never being spiritually satisfied or comfortable...always desiring more of Jesus...always desiring more of the Holy Spirit... The promise is, the more we desire of Him, the more He will fill us with Himself.

As Kyle and I continue to teach the adult Sunday School Class about various "Familiar Spirits" that are present and active in our existence, we "see" where Satan keeps these dark beings working, tormenting and aggravating our lives to keep us from that fullness. Spirits who have lived with us for so long that we have just accepted their presence. Spirits who greet us each morning and keep us company throughout the day. Spirits who convince us that "this is all there is". Spirits who deceive us into an attitude of dread rather than an attitude of expected life. Spirits who keep that "measure" at a "minimal".

Kyle and I have learned so much these past several weeks. The "stretching" process hasn't been the most comfortable but it certainly has been profitable and fruitful in our lives as individuals, in our marriage and in our home. We desire more. We desire all God has for us! We boldly ask...We consistently seek...We diligently knock!

We long to be to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God! We humbly believe it and pray that He saturates us with the grace to live it!

I am thankful for the "feeding" I received from "my man" this morning! It was the nourishment I needed to fuel my day! :o)

A Fruitful Vine...

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your sons will be like the olive shoots around your table.
Psalm 128:3 (NIV)

Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house:
thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
Psalm 128:3 (KJV)

As I continue to dig deeply into the wealthful treasure of God's Word in an attempt to discover the truthfulness of my role as a wife to my amazing husband, I continue to draw an immeasurable amount of wisdom. Verses that I thought I understood, I simply hadn't even tapped into the richness thereof with the scripture I share today being no different. As I studied, prayed, pondered, researched and then received, my heart was filled with refreshing insight and abundant joy.

Truths of this verse:
*I am the weaker vessel
*I am a tender tree
*I am as a fragile wood
*I am to produce a sweet and abundant fruit
*I am to be fertile and fruit bearing
*I am to be on the sides of the house...not on the roof, nor on the floor
*The house is my proper place
*I am to be "the beauty of the house"
*I am to care for the domestic affairs
*I am to be a keeper of the home
*My roots are to be within the house
*My branches are to extend outside the house
*I am to be modest
*My "fruit" is to honor God
*My "fruit" is to honor Kyle
*I am a rib out of Kyle
*I am to be a loving wife
*I am to be an obedient wife
*I am to be pliable
*I am to grow as I am directed
*I am to be fruitful in bearing children
*I am to be fruitful in wisdom
*I am to be fruitful in righteousness
*I am to be fruitful in good management
*I am to be fruitful in kindness
*I am to be fruitful in thriftiness
*I am to be fruitful in helpfulness
*I am to be fruitful in affection
*I am to yield Kyle the wine of consolation
*I am to yield Kyle the clusters of comfort
*I am to be a faithful housekeeper

The meaning and translation of this verse offers so much depth, insight, teaching and wisdom which would be the reason why I have been pondering it for the past few weeks. I continue to reflect on the truthfulness and clarity of the words and I press onward to receive God's richness from them. Some would look at the list above and see the attributes, characteristics and virtues defined as restricting, confining and imprisonment yet when I look at each of those things I see freedom, glorious freedom. For far too long I have cripped-along in my role as a godly wife and I long for accountability, truth and direction in this area. I long for God's boundaries in correlation to the wife He desires me to be. Where better to look than straight into His Word.

As I am learning, I am asking God to plant each of these instructions deep within the soil of my heart. I am asking Him to equip me with the necessary components in order for me to fully receive them and then the determination to live them out through His grace. I am asking Him to cleanse me, purify me, and transform me. I am asking Him to retrain my brain and to gently remind me when I am inclined to revert back to my old way of thinking. I am asking Him to restore the years I have wasted in my ignorance and complacency. I am seeking His forgiveness where I have fallen so short.

Kyle and I have always had a fantastic marriage so when the contents of my heart started stirring in regard to "my roles as a wife", I knew it was a stirring from the Lord. I love the way He convicts, corrects and disciplines...gently and lovingly. Yet He never corrects, convicts or disciplines without giving us the proper instruction to make our wrongs right. He never asks it of us without being faithful to walk alongside us in our training and changing. Through His presence and His grace He equips us.

I'm seeing alot of changes in my heart, my mind and my soul these days. The pruning has been uncomfortable but the fruit that abounds is/will be far worth the pain.

I'm loving my man in a whole new way! :o)

I desire to be a fruitful vine!


*On a side note I thought I would briefly share a few words from one of the commentaries that I studied on this verse:

+By the sides of thine house. She keeps to the house: she is a home bird. Some imagine that she is like a vine which is nailed up to the house wall; but they have no such custom in Palestine, neither is it pleasant to think of a wife as growing up by a wall, and as bound to the very bricks and mortar of her husband's dwelling. No, she is a fruitful vine, and a faithful housekeeper; if you wish to find her, she is within the house: she is to be found both inside and outside the home, but her chief usefulness is in the inner side of the dwelling, which she adorns. Eastern houses usually have an open square in the centre, and the various rooms are ranged around the sides, --there shall the wife be found, busy in one room or another, as the hour of the day demands. She keeps at home, and so keeps the home. It is her husband's house, and she is her husband's; us the text puts it -- "thy wife", and "thy house"; but by her loving care her husband is made so happy that is he glad to own her as an equal proprietor with himself, for he is hers, and the house is hers too.

+As a wife and children are very much a man's care, so, if by the grace of God they are such as they should be, they are very much a man's delight, as much as any creature-comfort. The wife shall be as a vine by the sides of the house, not only as a spreading vine which serves for an ornament, but as a fruitful vine which is for profit, and with the fruit whereof both God and man are honoured, Jdg. 9:13. The vine is a weak and tender plant, and needs to be supported and cherished, but it is a very valuable plant, and some think (because all the products of it were prohibited to the Nazarites) it was the tree of knowledge itself. The wife's place is the husband's house; there her business lies, and that is her castle. Where is Sarah thy wife? Behold, in the tent; where should she be else? Her place is by the sides of the house, not under-foot to be trampled on, nor yet upon the house-top to domineer (if she be so, she is but as the grass upon the housetop, in the next Psalm), but on the side of the house, being a rib out of the side of the man. She shall be a loving wife, as the vine, which cleaves to the house-side, an obedient wife, as the vine, which is pliable, and grows as it is directed. She shall be fruitful as the vine, not only in children, but in the fruits of wisdom, and righteousness, and good management, the branches of which run over the wall (Gen. 49:22; Ps. 80:11, like a fruitful vine, not cumbering the ground, nor bringing forth sour grapes, or grapes of Sodom, but good fruit. (emphasis not mine)

Wordless Wednesday...

Bud...Flourish...Burst...Grow...New...

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is My word that goes out from My mouth:
It will not return unto Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle tree will grow.
This will be for the Lord's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed.
Isaiah 55:9~13

I am the Lord:
that is my name:
and my glory will I not give to another,
neither my praise to graven images.

Behold,

the former things are come to pass,
and new things do I declare:
before they spring forth I tell you of them.
Isaiah 42:8~9

Respect/Honor...

Then when the king's edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm,
all the women will respect their husbands,
from the least to the greatest.
(NIV)

And when the King's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,)
all the wives shall give to their husbands honour,
both to great and small.
(KJV)

~respect~
esteem;
admiration;
proper acceptance;
courtesy;
condition of being esteemed or honored;
to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with

~honor~
honesty;
fairness;
integrity;
a source of credit or distinction;
high respect;
as for worth, merit;
such respect manifested;
high public esteem;
to show a courteous regard for

Again, the initial knowledge of the words respect and honor isn't something that is foreign to me, yet as I begin to ponder them in a whole new perspective, they've taken on a completely different reality. It's one thing to mentally respect and honor someone but then to live that out based on what you know is true rather than on what your heart might be feeling at the time is something vastly different. As with submission, respecting and honoring Kyle can't be just a "lofty idea", it's a deliberate truth that the Lord is desiring for me to put into action. Not just thinking it, but doing it. Not just feeling it, but displaying it. Not just when I "feel" like doing it but most importantly when I don't!

To get a better understanding of the verses above I went to a couple of on-line commentaries for some further insight. This is what they had to say:

*...speaking respectfully to them, yielding a ready and cheerful obedience to all their commands; which would be to princes and peasants, to high and low, to every rank of men...

*The consequences of this, it was hoped, would be that the wives would give to their husbands honour, even the wives of the great, not withstanding their own greatness, and the wives of the small notwithstanding the husband's meanness; and thus every man would bear rule in his own house, as he ought to do, and, the wives being subject, the children and servants would be so too. It is the interest of states and kingdoms to provide that good order be kept in private families.

Wow!
Speaking respectfully...
Yielding a ready and cheerful obedience to Kyle's direction,
leadership,
decision-making...
Being subject...

I love the boundaries that this verse and the reality of it's meaning establishes around me as the wife to a Godly man. For those of you that know Kyle very well know know that he is NOT a commander!?! In light of that and the fact that one of his greatest desires in life is to please me and make me happy, I humbly admit that all-too-often I've manipulated his decisions and questioned his direction. For so long I have overstepped boundaries because "I could"! On top of all that, during Kyle's five-year-stint of continual chronic illness, I assumed many of his responsibilities because physically he simply couldn't do them. I just stepped in and "took over" and somewhere along the way after his year-long quest of surgeries and recovery, I forgot to "let-go" of what was his. I continued on being the "everything individual who controlled it all". About six months ago God really started doing a "work" on my heart where I no longer desired to be that kind of a wife and in turn I am being so enlightened through the simplicity yet truthfulness of His Word. I am finding the more I release control and in-turn extend respect and honor, I am being showered with a great deal of mental, emotional and spiritual freedom and I am seeing Kyle through God's eyes rather than my own. I'm finding the more I submit, respect and honor, the more opportunity Kyle has in stepping-in and stepping-up to be the leader, authority and headship of our home. I'm finding the more honor and respect I lavish upon him, the more affirmed and empowered he feels in fulfilling his God-given responsibilities. I'm finding the more I respect and honor Kyle, the more MaKayla and Mallary respect him as well.

What does this mean for me?
It means:
*using only words that esteem Kyle...
*using only words that honor Kyle...
*using only words that affirm Kyle...
(this means whether I am happy with him or not :o)
*accepting his leadership and authority...
*not questioning his decisions...
*building him up in my words and my actions...
(speech)
(body language)
(attitude)
*cheerfully yielding an obedient heart...
*seeing "my man" as God sees him...

It's been a time of painful refining yet in the end it's worth it all! I'm a work in progress and I'm beginning to get a glimpse of the woman God truly designed me to be!