Respect/Honor...

Then when the king's edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm,
all the women will respect their husbands,
from the least to the greatest.
(NIV)

And when the King's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,)
all the wives shall give to their husbands honour,
both to great and small.
(KJV)

~respect~
esteem;
admiration;
proper acceptance;
courtesy;
condition of being esteemed or honored;
to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with

~honor~
honesty;
fairness;
integrity;
a source of credit or distinction;
high respect;
as for worth, merit;
such respect manifested;
high public esteem;
to show a courteous regard for

Again, the initial knowledge of the words respect and honor isn't something that is foreign to me, yet as I begin to ponder them in a whole new perspective, they've taken on a completely different reality. It's one thing to mentally respect and honor someone but then to live that out based on what you know is true rather than on what your heart might be feeling at the time is something vastly different. As with submission, respecting and honoring Kyle can't be just a "lofty idea", it's a deliberate truth that the Lord is desiring for me to put into action. Not just thinking it, but doing it. Not just feeling it, but displaying it. Not just when I "feel" like doing it but most importantly when I don't!

To get a better understanding of the verses above I went to a couple of on-line commentaries for some further insight. This is what they had to say:

*...speaking respectfully to them, yielding a ready and cheerful obedience to all their commands; which would be to princes and peasants, to high and low, to every rank of men...

*The consequences of this, it was hoped, would be that the wives would give to their husbands honour, even the wives of the great, not withstanding their own greatness, and the wives of the small notwithstanding the husband's meanness; and thus every man would bear rule in his own house, as he ought to do, and, the wives being subject, the children and servants would be so too. It is the interest of states and kingdoms to provide that good order be kept in private families.

Wow!
Speaking respectfully...
Yielding a ready and cheerful obedience to Kyle's direction,
leadership,
decision-making...
Being subject...

I love the boundaries that this verse and the reality of it's meaning establishes around me as the wife to a Godly man. For those of you that know Kyle very well know know that he is NOT a commander!?! In light of that and the fact that one of his greatest desires in life is to please me and make me happy, I humbly admit that all-too-often I've manipulated his decisions and questioned his direction. For so long I have overstepped boundaries because "I could"! On top of all that, during Kyle's five-year-stint of continual chronic illness, I assumed many of his responsibilities because physically he simply couldn't do them. I just stepped in and "took over" and somewhere along the way after his year-long quest of surgeries and recovery, I forgot to "let-go" of what was his. I continued on being the "everything individual who controlled it all". About six months ago God really started doing a "work" on my heart where I no longer desired to be that kind of a wife and in turn I am being so enlightened through the simplicity yet truthfulness of His Word. I am finding the more I release control and in-turn extend respect and honor, I am being showered with a great deal of mental, emotional and spiritual freedom and I am seeing Kyle through God's eyes rather than my own. I'm finding the more I submit, respect and honor, the more opportunity Kyle has in stepping-in and stepping-up to be the leader, authority and headship of our home. I'm finding the more honor and respect I lavish upon him, the more affirmed and empowered he feels in fulfilling his God-given responsibilities. I'm finding the more I respect and honor Kyle, the more MaKayla and Mallary respect him as well.

What does this mean for me?
It means:
*using only words that esteem Kyle...
*using only words that honor Kyle...
*using only words that affirm Kyle...
(this means whether I am happy with him or not :o)
*accepting his leadership and authority...
*not questioning his decisions...
*building him up in my words and my actions...
(speech)
(body language)
(attitude)
*cheerfully yielding an obedient heart...
*seeing "my man" as God sees him...

It's been a time of painful refining yet in the end it's worth it all! I'm a work in progress and I'm beginning to get a glimpse of the woman God truly designed me to be!