17 Years...17 Things...

17 years ago this day...

Our lives were changed...

The world was impacted...

By the presence of a life...

This life...


You were a baby with joy...

You were a child of creativity...

You were a girl with a flair for life...

You became a teenager of determination in all you set out to do...

You love fashion...

You have an eye for design...

You strive to perfection...

You can be nothing less than a servant...
it♥simply♥is♥who♥you♥are...

You will settle for nothing short of organization...

You long to be YOU...

You desire God...

Your hands are diligent...

You have a beautiful spirit...

You are becoming an amazing woman...

You bless the lives of others...

You are growing in confidence to be YOURSELF...

You are an awesome sister to Mal & an amazing daughter to your daddy & I...



♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥



17 things...
Red
Every meal I fix is your favorite
History
Ladybugs
Shoes
Nail Art
Gardening
People-pleaser
Spontaneous
Strawberry Limeades
Fashion
Say Yes To The Dress
Jigsaw puzzles
Wedding Dresses
Musicals
MAJOR dislike (hate) of snakes
English Toffee Cappuccino


The Lord dances over you with singing and delights in your presence!

We celebrate your life today & every day MaKayla Dawn!

Happy 17th Birthday!

We love, love, love Y♥O♥U♥

Stepping Out...

Ending a wonderful weekend is a very bitter-sweet experience. Bitter due to the fact that the reality of having Kyle home during the day with us is over, sweet due to the fact that the previous few days were full of fun, laughter, friends, family and lots of love.

The Lord has been speaking a great deal to Kyle and I about tearing down the walls of self-protection and self-preservation we have gradually built around ourselves over the past five years. Not only until recently did we clearly see the reality of these walls or the consequences of their presence. You see, for the first fourteen years of our marriage, we lived in the same small rural town as much of my family lives. We attended the same church with Kyle serving as worship leader & deacon and I as women's ministry coordinator & Sunday School teacher. We served where we were needed and stepped in nearly every place we were asked. Our kids were active and involved in church activities, a homeschool group and little league. We were always on the go running from thing to thing...place to place. That was until we moved here... Forty miles from my family... Country living rather than community living... Twenty miles from any town... At that point God really began to speak to our hearts about "simplicity"... He began to compel us to look at how we were investing our time and He directly asked us if we were truly living for Him or if we were simply going through the motions...living the "American way". We listened to His voice and bit-by-bit through His guidance made decisions to change the course of our lifestyle. Through that time we somewhat entered a "spiritual seclusion"... Placing our focus totally and completely upon God Himself. Exchanging the busyness of daily living for the freedom of being a family. Letting go of "activity" and grabbing hold of simplicity. It was exactly what God wanted us to do. We were exactly where God wanted us to be. We're still there...yet He is calling us to "step out" and "work out" what He has shown us, taught us and how He has changed us.

Through this time, we have truly learned about who God is and what it looks like to seek Him, hear Him, know Him and follow Him...He Himself, not just a principle. Through this time, we have truly learned to let go of the fear that has so easily entangled us and cling tight to the freedom, assurance and certainty we have in the Creator of the universe and the Savior of the world. Through this time, we have truly learned the essence, meaning and reality of family. A family built on the one and only Cornerstone...Jesus Christ! It's who we are... What we do... How we live...

We are recognizing opportunities to "step out" and "work out" and the reality of that is exciting even though somewhat unfamiliar. We see God moving us out of the "seclusion" and into something new. We hold tight to the essence of "family" yet move forward into a spacious pasture prepared. A pasture where we are called to invest our lives for the sake and glory of Jesus Christ. We release the idea of self-protection and self-preservation in order to rest in the sovereignty and perfection of our Heavenly Father...the only one who provides divine protection and preservation.

This past weekend was such a blessing for our family. It was a time of "stepping out" and it was wonderfully fulfilling! God has great things in store...

Not to us, O Lord, not to us,
but to Your name be the glory,
because of Your love and faithfulness.
Psalm 115:1

Lest I Forget...#1

Lest I forget the events of yesterday...

Moments afforded by God alone...

*Numerous tears of brokenness...

*Spirit-filled worship...

*A soggy tent...

*Sweet fellowship as a family...


*Shooting off year-old fireworks...

*Dew laden grass...

*French-tip fingernails...

*MaKayla organizing beds inside the tent...

*Hot dogs roasted over the firepit...

*Rockets...

*Quiet time in favorite books...

*Down pouring rain...

*A crazy dog...

*Sidewalk chalk...

*A long visit with My Man...

*Retrieving parachutes in a field with an anxious bull...

*Mal meandering through the campsite munching on chips...

*Kyle building a warming fire...


*Smores...

*Blue checkered table cloth...

*A calm pond...

Lest I forget...

20...

The past few days have held alot of reminiscing moments for me...

Moments that make me incredibly happy...

Moments that make me incredibly thankful...

Moments that make me feel incredibly rich...

Twenty years ago this day, I married my very best friend!

20 Things I love about You...

♥ Your scent ♥

♥ Your gentle spirit ♥

♥ Your provisional integrity ♥

♥ You love without limits ♥

♥ Your passion for music ♥

♥ Your faithfulness to me ♥

♥ Your servant heart ♥

♥ Your courageous determination ♥

♥ Your humble intelligence ♥

♥ Your adventurous spirit that you very seldom unleash ♥

♥ Your contentment with two girly girls & no little guys ♥

♥ You protect me ♥

♥ You love me ♥

♥ You cherish me ♥

♥ You honor me ♥

♥ You ALWAYS look out for my best interest ♥

♥ You dry my tears as they fall ♥

♥ Your commitment to Christ ♥

♥ Your love for Taylor's ♥

♥ Your spontaneity ♥


20 Memories that bring me joy...

♥ Periodic visits to Chestnut Charm ♥

♥ Multiple trips to Rochester ♥

♥ Late night walks on the beach at Dreams ♥

♥ The day we bought your Toyota ♥

♥ Creating two beautiful girls ♥
~One that looks like me~One that looks like you~

♥ Carmen, Travis Tritt, Harlem Globetrotters, SCC ♥

♥ Romantic dinners at Skies ♥

♥ Alaska, Hawaii, Aruba, Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Romania, London ♥
♥ MEXICO ♥

♥ Dark cruise ship decks ♥

♥ Difficult days following surgeries ♥

♥ Christmas shopping get-aways ♥

♥ Homeschool Conventions ♥

♥ Lazy afternoons in the pool ♥

♥ Icy basement stairways ♥

♥ Thursday's on 1st Street ♥

♥ Pannekoeken ~ Victoria's ~Brentwood Inn ♥

♥ Poodles~Dalmatians~Shelties~Labs~Guinea pigs ♥

♥ Tears of laughter, joy, sadness, pain, heartache, happiness, forgiveness ♥

♥ Jim Brickman moments ♥

♥ Coffee on the patio ♥

I am thankful for the love I have known ALL because of YOU!!!

Love

I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;

I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.

Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.

You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

by Roy Croft

Encountering God...

Growing up, I can recall distinct moments in which I "encountered God"... You know, those moments in which you knew He was real... You knew what you were experiencing was going beyond what was typical... A different feel... A different presence... Deeper... More intimate... Unexplainable...

For me, those moments happened in the church our family attended when I was a very young girl and then again at youth camp. I distinctly remember... The first time when I was probably four years old and then again when I was a teenager. Of course I am certain that there were times in between... I know there were...

One of my greatest aspirations in life, is together with Kyle, raise MaKayla & Mallary in a way that they KNOW God, they DESIRE God and they ENCOUNTER God...not just through us but most importantly in a real & personal way. The Holy Spirit is our Counselor, our Comforter, our Teacher and our Guide. For us, it is imperative that they know the reality of who He is!

For Father's Day the girls and I ordered Kyle a CD/DVD of one of his most favorite worship artists that he was honored to sit under at a Seminars4Worship conference several years back. After Kyle took in his teaching and then we attended a concert of his in the evening, we were immediately hooked and have been ever since, therefore I knew Kyle would love it!. Brian doesn't entertain, he compels and draws you into the presence of the Most Holy One... We as a family sat through nearly half of the DVD Sunday evening and then finished it last night. One word sums it up...AMAZING!!! Both MaKayla & Mal were captivated and enthralled.

The more we watched, the more our hearts were opened.
The more we watched, the more the Holy Spirit penetrated our home.
The more we watched, the more we encountered God.

It was a live, raw and diverse video shoot. It was simple, pure, free & amazing worship. It included various people... People praying... People playing musical instruments... People painting an abstract piece of art... People dancing... People sharing testimonies of deliverance... People using flags... People singing... People standing... People kneeling... People sitting... People encountering God...

I can't even begin to explain what happened...it was surreal...it was moving...it was wonderful...it was life-transforming...

We as a family, encountered God!

After the DVD was over, we visited together about how the Holy Spirit was speaking to us...individually and as a family... We talked together, cried together, prayed together and then ended our evening with a song of praise!

It was amazing...

It was an encounter that none of us will forget...

We encountered God!

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Acts 2:1~4

You have made known to me the paths of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence. Acts 2:28

So Much More...

In the quietness of this new morning, I am thankful that God has given me the privilege of knowing what the reality of intimacy with Him looks like, feels like, is...

Kyle and I have been talking for quite some time about the essence of shallow faith. Spending enough time with God to feel "comfortable". Dwelling in that arena where one is covered by grace but not saturated with the Holy Spirit. Serving others in abundance but not taking the time to commune with the One who the service should flow through. Believing, trusting and confessing Jesus yet failing to truly pursue Him. Getting acquainted with the Saviour of this world yet choosing to stay at a safe distance. Falling short of the "so much more"... Opting to skim the surface rather than to dig deeper... Remaining in the "outer courts" in exchange for pressing in to see Him, know Him, be with Him.

I pity the one and grieve for the one who chooses to settle for shallow faith. Jesus is longing, waiting and calling. He is pursuing those He loves.

There is so much more...

I desire the so much more...

He who formed the foundations of the world & set the days and seasons into place, chooses to love me...

I long to know Him in His fullness...

I choose to enter in...

It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining.
And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.
Luke 23:44~45

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith...
Hebrews 10:19~22

Listen...

The strength of the vessel can be demonstrated only by the hurricane, and the power of the Gospel can be fully shown only when the Christian is subjected to some fiery trial. If God would make manifest the fact that "He giveth songs in the night," He must first make it night.~William Taylor

Life has been full of ups and downs, potholes and difficulties...frustrations and uncertainty...trials and waiting. We've spoken words of agitation and cried tears of helplessness. We've conveyed the unanswered questions and prayed many times over. The only place we find solace in times and seasons such as these are straight from God's Word and through the presence, comfort and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

We are studying the book of James in Sunday School and this past Sunday we talked alot about 'being quick to listen and slow to speak...' something I would humbly admit doesn't always come easy for me. It goes against who I am in the natural man and the character born within me yet it is instructed in God's Word and that is a truth that I take very seriously to heart. It's amazing that the very Scriptures we were studying as a group are exactly what the Lord has been teaching me on a personal level.

Kyle has been having a multitude of health trouble again therefore bringing a continual essence of "night" which understandably is very discouraging to him. In the time I spend with the Lord praying for him, He reminds me, "Mendi, listen. Stop thinking about what you are going to say next and just listen to what Kyle has to say. Listen to how he is feeling. Listen to his heart. Listen to his hurt. Listen to his needs. Listen to his struggles. Just listen..." As I have put this instruction into practice, I have learned so much about a man whom I have daily grown more in love with for nearly 22 years. I've learned so much about his heart...how he feels...what he dreams...where he's hurting...physically and emotionally...

God's Word is SO true.

It NEVER falters or fails.

It ALWAYS brings about growth in my life.

It CONTINUALLY bears fruit for His glory as I work it out in my day-to-day living.

Although "night" has been upon us, Jehovah-Jireh has given us a song to sing!
May the power of the gospel be fully shown in us and through us.

Am I Mindful...

Life has seemed somewhat out-of-control & unsettled lately due to the reality that out of nine consecutive days, four of those were spent in a city nearly two-and-one-half hours from where we live for medical procedures. Those four days were filled with difficulty, exhaustion & determined perseverance yet like He always is, God was so graciously faithful. As I sat in Worship Sunday morning & looked back on those days, reprocessing the events, the emotions, the frustrations & the uncertainty, the Lord brought to mind the words grace, strength, wisdom & empowerment, and compelled me to line those words up to the experiences of our week prior. In His loving, sovereign way, He revealed to me how limitless & measureless His provision is. He gave me a glimpse & allowed me to see & ponder how there is simply no way I could measure the grace He had poured out on us & how all too often I take that grace, strength, wisdom, power & provision for granted. He allowed me to consider just for a moment how different the situation & circumstances would have been had He not been with us.

He compelled me to ask myself the question,
"Am I mindful?"

So do not throw away your confidence;
it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what He has promised.
Hebrews 10:35~36

Today...

I sit on the couch this morning finding it hard to believe that it has been nearly a month since I last posted...

...enjoying the quietness that surrounds me with the exception of the songs creation sings...

...burdened and broken for one I love...

...meditating on the truth that God's sovereignty is infallible, His will is perfect & He can be nothing short of faithful...

...reminding myself that even when I don't understand the dynamics of life, God does...

...wishing, hoping, contemplating what I could do to make things better, what I could do to take the pain away, what I could do to restore the joy, what I could do...yet God reminds me that only He has the power to accomplish what is beyond our limited abilities of the flesh...

...knowing that the battles we wage here on this earth are spiritual battles...battles that can be fought with nothing less than the immeasurable power and authority of the Holy Spirit...

...in a humble estate praying, hoping, believing, trusting...

...acknowledging that my God is holy, honorable, mighty & awesome....

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;

in you I trust, O my God.
Psalm 25:1

What I've Discovered...

Life has been incredibly busy and to be honest, the few weeks prior to this one I have somewhat lacked intentional motivation. You know where a little bit of innocent relaxed living evolves into complete complacency and laziness and the longer you allow it to continue the worse you feel about yourself and the more negative your attitude becomes. As it goes on without correction, the more areas of your life that join in and before you realize it the whole reality is that you have one gigantic snowball of unfocused, undisciplined, out-of-control living going on. You eventually become so sick of yourself that you cry out to God for help and direction because the emptiness you feel is so intense.

That's pretty much where I was a week ago this past Sunday, arriving in an arena where I felt so overcome by torment. Later in the evening as I opened my Bible to read before bed, I laid myself before the Lord seeking His counsel. He graciously yet specifically revealed to me the areas that I had lost complete focus of and had therefore ended up in complete confusion. As I drifted off to sleep that night, I pondered and prayed over the truths He had lovingly imparted on my heart.

That Monday morning I awoke refreshed and excited about putting to work what God had spoken. As I sat that morning pondering, the Lord clearly and distinctly revealed to me that as the keeper of this home, He has also entrusted me to be the "heart" of this home.

heart - innermost or central part of anything

I've always wrestled with the fact and reality that certain ones in our home tend to "follow" after me whether it be in my attitude, my actions, my motivation, my organization, my mood, my deliberate time with the Lord, my... It seems as though I am the one who inevitably establishes the pattern of life and living and until the Lord "met" with me that night, the whole idea of this frustrated me tremendously, yet during that intimate time with Him, He showed me that this is the way He intended it to be. When I chose to marry and bear children, unknowingly I was entrusted with the sole calling and responsibility of keeping the home and being the "heart" therein. That means that He holds me to the highest standard when it comes to nurturing, training and encouraging... And not just nurturing, training and encouraging in action but most importantly in heart... For if I do things with a "have to" or begrudging heart or if I become complacent and lazy and allow things to go uncared for, how can I anticipate anything different from anyone else? All too often I see myself as only a participant in this home rather than the "keeper" or the "heart" of the home. I've discovered through the correction and instruction of the Holy Spirit that God expects and desires so much more of me. That has been my goal these past few weeks.

*Being a better financial manager to make Kyle's income stretch...
*Putting the hearts of my family before the tasks of this home...
*Placing the tasks of this home ahead of what my flesh is crying out to do...
*Seeing to it that I set a good example in fulfilling my daily responsibilities...(laundry, meals, housework, decluttering...)
*Teaching, nurturing & training with LOVE as my primary focus...
*Correcting with patience and long-suffering...
*Stopping & fully listening when someone is desiring my attention...
*Being deliberate to be in God's Word on a daily basis...
*Looking for opportunities to encourage rather than to criticize...
*Putting into action avenues to keep my family healthy...
*Being aware of times when I can lighten Kyle's load...
*Beginning each day with a heart of joy & anticipation...

I've discovered more than ever that God has appointed Kyle as the head, leader, provider, protector and authority of this home. His job is great and on certain days no doubt the tasks before him seem overwhelming.

I've discovered that God has appointed me to be the heart of this home and as I live out that appointment and calling with joy and determination, it makes all the difference in the lives that live herein.

I've discovered that instead of becoming frustrated over the reality that others tend to follow my pattern of living, I will take delight in what I have been entrusted with. I will see it as a calling that I can daily improve upon. I will view it as an opportunity to enrich those that have been placed within my personal care. I will accept it as a gift of great value. I will treat it with utmost care. I will become a better steward of the "investment" that God has graciously extended to me.

I will do my best to live a life that is worthy of emulation...

I will do my best to live a life that enriches those around me...

I will do my best to live a life that God is glorified in...
I will do my best to live a life that makes much of Jesus...
In my attitude...
In my actions...
In my motivation...
In my dedication...

I've discovered that this is my life!
I've discovered that this life I love!


For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith --
and this not from yourselves,
it is the gift of God --
not by works, so that no one can boast.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8~10