Just To Be Known As Someone...

I've pondered this post for a few weeks now...
It comes to mind...
And then I let it go...

As I sit down to pull my thoughts together, I am reminded of how grateful I am that God has given me a love for writing. A desire to put my heart on paper. A longing to share what He is showing me, teaching me, revealing to me. Not only for ones who faithfully visit our blog, but for my girls. I frequently find them scrolling through old posts... Looking at times gone by... Reading back over how God is moving & working in my life. ♥

Transparent...
Real...
Genuine...

I want them to remember daily life here at home...
What I struggled with...
The victories God helped me to achieve...

I want them to be reminded of how much they were loved...
The value of their precious lives...
That God is the most important factor in anything they do...

In thinking about my passion for writing, my mind drifts back to the late 1980's, early 1990's.
School wasn't a priority to me.
I wish it would have been.
Simply put, I was a social butterfly.
So contrary to who I am today...

In the midst of those years, a one-of-a-kind English teacher touched my life.

A teacher I wish I could track down today...

We were reading 'The Scarlet Letter' & as is typical, we had to compose a paper with our thoughts about the book. The emphasis for this particular paper was in regard to why we thought the big, bold letter 'A' was right or wrong. This was probably the first composition that I really remember doing. I did what was asked  & turned my paper in for grading. Upon it's return to me, on the very back page, in bright red writing, the teacher affirmed the thoughts that I had shared intermingled with a bit of constructive criticism. I still remember the paper. I still remember his handwriting. I still remember how his affirming words made me feel. That was water/sunshine that began to grow the small seed that God had placed in my heart that I had yet to discover. (My love & gift of writing is nothing in & of me, yet something He (God) strategically placed within the fibers of my being when He formed me upon conception.)

Somewhere, I still have that paper safely tucked...
As a reminder...

You know, I'm sure that bachelor of a teacher had no idea the impact his affirmation had upon my life the day he handed that paper back to me, but I did. I'm sure he had graded hundreds of papers before & has graded thousands of papers since & most of those papers have long been filed in landfills who knows where, but for the one paper of mine, it made & continues to make all the difference in this stay-at-home, homeschooling mom who loves to share her thoughts with others. ♥

I say all of that to share with you that a few weeks back, I sent out an e-mail/facebook message containing the following question:

So...in my Bible study time today, this thought crossed my mind & I am needing perspective from others...

Strange question I know, but in all honesty, how inwardly, genuinely valuable do you feel in regard to how people see you, treat you & convey themselves to you? If you don't feel comfortable "openly" responding but are willing to share your thoughts, private message me. It doesn't have to be lengthy, just a: very valuable, somewhat valuable, not valued at all. Or it could be: I'm a queen, I'm a commoner, I'm a pauper. Or: I am noticed, I am ignored, I am invisible.

The answers I received were so diverse...
Some came through private message...
Some came through the open forum page...
Some came through text...

The very first response I received was...
"Invisible..."

My heart broke...

Another response...
"Invaluable..."

They trickled in...
"Not valuable..."

"I want to be valued for who I am, not for who I'm not..."

"My value comes only from Christ..."
"Ignored..."
Another, "Invisible..."
"Depends..."
"Valued when someone needs something..."
"Depends on the crowd..."
"Depends on whose eyes I'm looking through, who I'm finding my worth in..."
"Past cohorts/customers, yes... Otherwise, not so much..."
"Unnoticed..."
"Lack of purpose..."

No matter how hard we try...
what people think of us,
how people see us,
the way in which people speak of us,
makes an impact on our lives...

It is a portion of how valuable we see ourselves...

We are flesh & until we reach our final destination, to a degree, this will be a reality...

One response I received was as pointed as this:
"Letting someones opinion of you define your self worth.. .
You will never be content,
You will never hold on to joy...
You will warp who you are to never satisfy anyone.
I will never let another person have that much power over me again."

Interesting...

As I pondered the openness of people's hearts, I continued to go back to the essence of the study that prompted the question...

Perhaps the thoughts reflected in the old hymn explain my tenderness toward the words unfolding in our text today. Genesis 17:15 reads, "God also said to Abraham, 'As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her.'" While on others God was calling -- Hagar, Abraham -- He did not pass Sarah by. Oh, how thankful I am for the phrases "God also said, " (emphasis mine) and "as for ____________..." I wonder whose name you'd write in that blank today. Does someone you know seem overlooked--perhaps, humanly speaking, for understandable reasons? Maybe he or she proved foolish. But haven't we all? Haven't we all been desperate for a name change? An identity change? Plenty of "alsos" and "as fors" remain for those desperate for His touch. Go back and write in that blank the name of someone who fits the need--even if it's yourself; turn the Scripture thought into a prayer for a fresh work toward a new identity in Christ.

I instantly knew whose name my "blank space" would contain...
Someone who has felt overlooked their entire life...
Someone who has never felt quite like they measured up...
Someone who has always felt like they have failed to ever get it right...
Isolated...
Alone...
Invaluable...
Worthless...

Simply put, they only long to be wanted, needed, appreciated...

My heart stirred & I wondered...

I considered the person whose name I penned on the "blank space" of my paper...
And then I considered the responses I received...
And then I considered how truly valuable I make other people feel...

Do I look them in the eye when I am speaking to them?
Or am I distracted?

Do I give them my full attention when I am talking to them?
Or do my eyes wander?

Do I offer a warm hug?
Or do I stand with my hands folded?

Kiss on the cheek?
Sincere prayer?
Word of encouragement?
Or am I in too big of a hurry?

Do I extend an utterance of affirmation?
Or am I more focused on their weaknesses/shortcomings?

Challenging but necessary questions...

People want to be valued...
People need to be affirmed...
People long to have purpose...

And truthfully there are some who have never genuinely known that...

They hunger for that name change that God so graciously gave Sarai/Sarah...

Just to be known as someone...

Someone...
Of worth...
Of value...
Of purpose...

Their parents didn't give it...
Their peers didn't extend it...
And now as adults the reality of insecurity screams in their ear...

Yesterday I was vividly reminded of this again...

I spoke at great length with someone I love very much who is gravely confused about life. They are longing for direction. Seeking someone to simply love them. Desiring the security of belonging. Through tears they poured their heart out...

And the words I shared with them is...

What it all boils down to, is God.

If we don't find our foundational belonging, worth, value & purpose in God, nothing or no one will ever be able to fill that lingering spot that He placed there to be occupied only by HIM.

Some seek to fill it through relationships.
Some through possessions.
Some through money.

Some pour themselves into their career.
Some into their hobbies.
Some into busyness.

Those satisfy for a season but in time, they too, wear out & the reality of emptiness resurfaces.

What it all boils down to, is God...

So hard for some people to grasp...
They want something they can see...
They can't understand how Someone who isn't tangible would be enough...

Yet once that foundation has been laid & established, God desires us, as His children to build on that foundation...

We are the only Jesus some people will ever see...

Through our words...
Through our actions...
Through our love...

Towards others...

And to some, it makes all the difference...

The response of one person has greatly challenged me...

• I try to be the change that I'd like to see in the world.. Treating others how I'd like to be treated.. Even those that others turn away from.. I'm not perfect.. I'm not fancy.. Have plenty of room to grow in God.. I try to be open..honest..and helpful when I can.......I'm more concerned about if I'm being a good example.. and trying to become a better wife..mother..family member..friend..or just a smile for someone who needs one...

I so loved their thoughts...

Are you one who is in need of that value, worth, purpose?

What it all boils down to, is God...

Are you one who knows the reality of your value, worth & purpose?

Are you building on God's foundation in other people's lives?

Or if they don't know Him, are you pointing them towards Him?

Give yourself away today...
Extend a word of affirmation...
Go out of your way to show love to someone...

It all started with that bachelor of a teacher...
And he didn't even know it...

God did.

So don't be afraid; 

you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:31