As I composed yesterday's post, there was more it contained but between Mal & I we cut some things & condensed. :) I received the following correspondence this morning which has prompted me to continue on...
"Searching for "more" this morning I read over some favorite blogs...including yours. Mendi, you are a gifted writer. Thank you for sharing your heart. Handicaps...things God can turn into our ability to comfort others in their time of trial/despair. But as we all sit in the same churches side by side... How much do we share? How much do we put on our "church face" while dying on the inside. I know I do. How often is the church "family" a bunch of separate, bleeding, crippled, lonely believers? Just some thoughts as I continue to search for "more"."
I am always grateful for feedback from people. Their thoughts. Their perception. Their "take" on life. It's what sharpens me & compels me to think deeper, dig further, search broader. We need to be challenged.
As I considered this precious individual's words & thoughts, coupled with things that I had penned/typed as a continuance from yesterday's post, various meanderings floated through my mind...
Maybe our churches should have designated handicap sections...
This section might consist of people who can't find purpose or see past their current heartaches in life. They don't see the light at the end of the dark tunnel they are in. They don't see how they can be used. All they see is pain & dislocation.
I'm BLEEDING...
This area might contain people whose hurts are beyond explanation... They've been gashed & gnashed & at present there is no avenue to close the gaping hole.
I have CANCER...
This zone might hold people who can't get a grip on hidden spiritual strongholds that are constantly eating away at the wholeness of their hearts...bitterness, pride, anger, jealousy, insecurity...
I battle MENTAL ILLNESS...
This sector might pull people together that can't see out of the pit in which Satan has placed them... They feel completely stuck, bound, imprisoned...
I am WOUNDED...
This parcel might group people who have been hurt...damaged...rejected...abandoned...and then left to "figure it out"...I am DEPLETED...
This block of people are ones who have been a continuous outlet of love, energy, encouragement, time, service to everyone (family, co-workers, church body, friends, ect) without anyone pouring something, anything back into them.
I'm in need of a HEART TRANSPLANT...
This division would include people who need to see God for who He is in their lives. How much He loves them. How much worth He sees in them. Their heart of stone needs to be replaced with a heart of flesh & in turn they would receive a new spirit as well. Their old way of thinking isn't working for them or serving them in a fruitful manner. They need God afresh.
The reality of it is, we judge & condemn & criticize people because of their behaviors, their attitudes, their personalities & their responses because that is all we see.
The reality of it is, we all have handicaps.
We all have pasts.
And simply put, we can't see beyond the surface in order to see the heart...
The damage of the heart...
So contrary to what God longs for us.
We build walls of protection.
(We shut people out.)
So contrary to what God longs for us.
As my dear friend said, "But as we all sit in the same churches side by side... How much do we share? How much do we put on our "church face" while dying on the inside. I know I do. How often is the church "family" a bunch of separate, bleeding, crippled, lonely believers?"
We struggle through life hiding our hurts, denying our emptiness, burying our brokenness, suppressing our longing to be seen...loved...accepted...valued...affirmed... We put on our "happy face" in order to give the indication we are fine; all the while we are dying inside. Pride keeps us from crying out, "Unclean! Unclean!" as the lepers of old were required to do. As a result, we adversely affect the body of Christ. We share our "disease" but in an unhealthy way. We carry in our contagious infections. And instead of humbling ourselves & reaching out for help, our ailments deepen & grow more life threatening. We are so quick to seek out prayer for our physical needs, but what about our spiritual? Mental? Emotional? And instead of people recognizing the hurt we are feeling, and extending themselves to help others find healing & restoration, we judge, condemn & ridicule.
I agreed.
I love her heart. ♥
And her thoughts. ♥
I don't see our family as unapproachable...
incapable of being approached
unreachable
impossible to equal or rival
Remote? Maybe.
Reserved? Fairly stated.
Separate? Aren't we supposed to be to some extent? (Not so much in the church setting...)
We don't live as we do in an attempt to put others down or to make people feel less than.
(One perception that has compelled me to build walls.)
(If I just stick to myself then others won't be offended by what I say, how I live, things I choose.)
(If I just stick to myself then others won't be offended by what I say, how I live, things I choose.)
We've been told that our standards are unattainable.
I disagree.
But do we condemn others for not choosing to live by the same convictions?
Not at all. That is between them & God.
But it also does not mean that we recoil from the standards God has placed before us.
In turn people distance themselves because they don't feel they "measure up".
We live as we do because that is how God has called us.
We live as we do because we desire to live a life of obedience above all else.
Is it easy?
Hardly ever.
Is it freeing?
Always.
As I have processed the reality of so may diverse groanings within my heart, I've come to a couple of conclusions...
One...
I've arrived at this "reserved" destination of reservation by way of many winding roads.
*the lifestyle in which we have been called/chosen
~homeschooling
~stay-at-home mom
~simple living
*a husband's extended illness (I am DEPLETED...)
~learning (literally) how to do the daily responsibilities (mine & Kyle's) of life alone
~isolated days in a hospital room miles away from home (and our girls)
*condemning/judging words issued by others (I am WOUNDED.)
*ridicule (I am BLEEDING.)
Two...
If I don't want others to inscribe their perception of me on me as truth rather than looking to see my heart, I, myself shouldn't perceive others in such a way without considering what is behind the way they present themselves. I need to be the change I long to see. I need to extend myself to those I see broken, bleeding, wounded, cancerous...in need of a heart change.
Isn't that what Jesus did?
About myself.
About how I see others.
About how God would desire me to realign my heart with His in regard to His children.
We are all handicapped.
We are all in need of each other.
We are all destitute without a divine touch from the Great Physician.
Where are you?
What are your hurts?
How have you "arrived" in the place in which you find yourself?
Blessed is he who has regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers him in times of trouble.
The Lord will protect him and preserve his life;
he will bless him in in the land
and not surrender him to the desire of his foes.
The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed
and restore him from his bed of illness.
Psalm 41:1~3
