MaKayla was super happy to find an envelope in the mail from Bri today. The card enclosed was way cool with such neat words & a nice long note! An unexpected surprise always makes the day a whole lot brighter! :)
It's been a good week so far but a busy one at that. I'm really trying to prioritize & refocus at the start of this new year so that I can be more effective for Christ, for my family & for those God has allowed me to minister to, teach & lead. It's become the norm for me to have so many things milling through my mind all at once that I can't engage in the very activity that I am doing at that specific time. Holidays seem to set me in this downward spiral pace.
I don't hear what is being said to me.
I put off the things that need done.
I jump from one task to another.
I dread getting out of bed because of what is waiting to be accomplished.
I only half listen to people who are wanting to share their hearts with me (namely my family).
I get behind on responsibilities.
Life just seems BIG...
After an uncountable amount of days of doing this, the black cloud looming over my head keeps getting bigger & darker & I can't seem to enjoy much of anything.
I've arrived in that place lately & although I'm not proud of it nor is it a desirable destination to be, I'm thankful that God allows me to get to the end of myself & He once again extends His immeasurable grace unto me.
He allows me to get to that point where my need for Him is so evident that I can't deny it.
He allows me to see how lacking & unfruitful I am without His strength & power fueling all I do.
He allows me to realize that apart from Him, I am nothing, I can do nothing & I accomplish nothing of eternal value.
It's one of those humbling yet empowering places.
That even in my weakness & nothingness I can do anything because He is everything.
So in the early morning hours of today, I sat with Bible, journal & pen; seeking, writing, refocusing.
Pleading with Him for forgiveness.
~For being self-focused...
~For following my own agenda...
~For leaning on my own strength...
~For relying on my own will rather than His...
Asking God to redeem me through the grace of Christ.
To receive me back unto Himself.
I'm thankful there are no hoops to jump through...
No mountains to climb...
No "works" to accomplish...
No approval to gain...
Just a humbled & repentant heart...
That's all that God desires of me...
That's everything I've laid before Him...
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich,
yet
for your sakes he became poor,
so that you through his poverty might become rich.
so that you through his poverty might become rich.
2 Corinthians 13:14
