I Many Times Just Wonder...

I am struggling which is compelling me to do a great deal of evaluation. Many times I wonder why I/Kyle and I see things so differently than everyone else. Why if God has called us to grow, serve and be a part of a specific fellowship of believers, we are so diverse. Why our desires are different. Why our convictions are different. Why our vision is so different. I then begin to question and wonder if the reason we are different is something in and of ourselves or if it is truly of God. If the reason we are different is because we are making up our own "religion" as we go or if it is because we are striving to follow hard and determined after God. If the reason we are different is because we are being difficult, dogmatic and legalistic or if it is because the Lord wants the peculiarness of our faith to be salt and light to those we worship with. And then I wonder if we need to relax, let go of the intentness of our faith and go with the flow (wouldn't that be compromising) or if Christ intends us to BE DIFFERENT! Just alot of questions running through my head. I am seeking wisdom, knowledge, insight and understanding from the Lord regarding these things as it gets wearisome and discouraging...like we're always swimming upstream.

I many times just wonder...where is God in all that is done, said and pursued? Is HE really at the heart? Is HE really what we are seeking? Is HE really our motive? Is HE really our goal? When the body comes together is HE the focus? Is HE glorified? Is He exalted? I wish I could see His perspective on things? Would it match mine or is my view a farce? I have been told before that I am overzealous...maybe that individual is right...yet can one truly be overzealous when it comes to serving, worshiping and exalting Christ?

I'm seeking correction if my discernment is all wrong...