I Always Have And Always Will...

As I sit in the quietness of this new morning, my mind reflects on another week nearly gone by. Not many things in my life are "all-consuming" yet a situation that is very close to my heart has been nothing short of that reality..."all-consuming". Many tears have fallen... Many prayers have been lifted up... Many questions asked... Many heart-breaking thoughts...

The tears continue to fall... The prayers continue to be spoken... The questions remain unanswered... The thoughts continue to circulate through my mind...

I search for peace but am having trouble finding it...
I try to make my mind rest but it never stops...
I attempt to find answers, none seem to surface...
I work to hold back the tears yet it is impossible...

Before Kyle left for work this morning, as he and I sat and visited, I asked him the questions, "Why do I allow myself to get so attached? Why am I allowing this to consume every fiber of my being? Why am I having trouble finding peace, rest and answers? Why do I feel so helpless? Should I not care?" His response to me was quite simple, "Because you love. That is why."

My heart is shattered in a million pieces...because I love.
My mind can't find rest...because I love.
The tears continue to fall...because I love.
I reach out to help...because I love.
I won't give up on answers...because I love.
I refuse to stop encouraging...because I love.
My prayers will never cease...because I love.
I will stay the course for as long as it takes...because I love.
I always have and always will continue to love...

Never before have I had trouble trusting the Lord as I have now...

Yet He PROMISES that He has been, is and always will be faithful!
Not only will I love yet I too will trust!

Let my soul take refuge...beneath the shadow of Your wings;
let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in You, O God.
~St. Augustine

My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:1~2; 5~8