It is such a glorious afternoon! I can't say that my entire day has gone that way as it has been quite stressful however by this point the Lord has turned my attitude around and things look much different than they did just four hours ago. I don't know about you but some decisions that the Lord entrusts me with, I allow to make my countenance unsettled, anxious and cranky. It seems that some of those decisions really don't have a wrong or a right answer, leaving me mentally and emotionally hanging in the balance which makes settling on a decision all the harder. I wanna say, "Come on Lord, just hang a chalkboard from the heavens saying yes or no. That's all I want...(blah, blah, blah)." He doesn't do that because He knows I would question to what extent "yes" means or by to what degree He means in saying "no". Me, the flesh that I am, seem to often be like the man in the boat that keeps yelling, "Just give me a sign...," and with every sign God sends, the man disregards, looking for a different sign that is more significant than the last.
A close friend of our family had e-mailed last week asking MaKayla, Mal and I to meet at 11:00 a.m. today for lunch. We were to pick the place. As the Lord would have it, our little corner of the world received a significant amount of snow which began falling Sunday evening and didn't stop until yesterday morning. Our family lives in no-man's-land where there is little sign of road maintenance and minimal traffic therefore this friend and I had e-mailed/text back and forth regarding our road conditions and whether or not we would be able to make it to town. I awoke this morning tossing around in my mind what would be the smartest decision and asking the Lord for direction and discernment. As the minutes and hours passed, I still felt no distinct "yes/no" answer and my level of stress, anxiousness and irritation began to mount causing all else around me to be frustrating. My patience was waning, my love was far too conditional, my focus was blurred and my reasoning was impaired. (I know, I know all of these indications as well as getting stuck in the driveway three times (did I just admit that?) should seem like obvious signals... that is unless you've already been sucked in by the monster of confusion!) The words, "If in doubt, don't," that another dear friend has shared with me many times over resonated within yet I was still unsettled. Finally, out of my hands, a resolution was decided upon and I had immediate peace... As I type this the Lord gently and lovingly reminds me that when peace isn't felt in the deepest part of my being, I need to wait! The issue with this decision was that I didn't have peace staying at home and I didn't have peace in going... Once the decision was made, my heart, mind and spirit were restful and I was so thankful to be safe with the girls in our warm home.
Since that deciding factor came at 10:30, we've enjoyed lunch together and watched the last few minutes of 'Sarah Plain & Tall. Jim Brickman is playing on the CD player and I've enjoyed a cup of hot coffee while correcting school work. MaKayla has whittled away at her school work all the while popping bubble gum she received in her stocking this Christmas at my mom's. Mallary spent a few moments making math corrections and is snuggled up on the couch starting the second in a series of mystery books. It's cold outside but it is warm in here and the sun is brightly shining on the newly fallen snow. Leftover Minestrone is in the crockpot for supper and we eagerly await Kyle's return from another day's work.
The stress is gone! The anxiety has been swept away! My heart is restful!
It's a glorious afternoon!
"If in doubt, don't" is excellent advice! Stuck in the driveway 3 times - huh? I understand. That's why Jan doesn't let me drive much in the winter months! :)
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