Grace...

Have you ever been in a situation where you "discover" who you once were by seeing the person you once were in another individual? I mean, you look at the way someone is acting or the way they are conducting themselves or the way they are talking or the way they are responding and just about the time the thoughts in your mind turn ugly, you hear the Lord ever so gently whisper, "Don't judge that person. The reason their conduct is so unsettling to you is because that's an image of who you once were." Believe me, it's a bizarre feeling yet a divine opportunity for freedom. It's one of those times that you are taken back and all you can say is, "Wow!"

I've had the above scenario played out two specific times in my life. Once several years back and another time just recently.

I remember the first time it happened, I was in an unfamiliar place away from all that was comfortable to me besides my family. I can still see the image in my mind. The exact room I was in. The time of day it was. I can still hear myself saying to my dad & mom, "I just saw who I have been and now I see why particular individuals haven't liked me. I see why I have been repulsive to people that I deeply love and why in turn it's has been hard for them to love me. I see the wretched person that God wants to free me from." This moment-in-time was a life-changing experience for me. An opportunity for the Lord to reveal ignorance that dwelt in my heart. Thankfully the person in whom I saw myself had no idea what was taking place and to my knowledge still doesn't know the reality of it to this day. I would never want to hurt their feelings or give them indication that this is how I saw them. In all actuality, it had nothing to do with them but everything to do with what God wanted to do in me.

Just recently, the same type of situation surfaced once again and instantly my heart felt threatened, defensive, ugly...yet as I've grown in the Lord, I have learned to immediately take those feelings captive and make them obedient to Christ. As I prayed, He gave me wisdom in responding to the issue at hand and in turn peace flooded my soul. Again, as I prayed, He gently said, "Don't judge that person. The reason their conduct is so unsettling to you is because that's an image of who you once were." This time the more I prayed the more He spoke..."Respond to the situation in the way I have directed and let.it.go! This is my battle to war. You have been obedient. Listen. Learn. Receive. Let.it.go."

Five years ago, I would have followed hard after a heart of strife, control, manipulation and retaliation yet God has had me on a journey... A long journey... A journey in which I continue to learn, grow and be transformed through His grace.

He answered and said,
Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not:
one thing I know,
that,
whereas I was blind, now I see.

John 9:25

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Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.