One Thing In Particular...

There are so many things that I love about Mallary but one thing in particular that shines about her is her unique and confident independence.

For the most part, our family of four does EVERYTHING together and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING! Kyle has always been the type of husband and father that pulls his people together and keeps his people together...his people, meaning us four. He has always had the philosophy that if one of us is doing something, all of us will do it together.

As babies, our girls co-slept with us. Neither of them were left in the nursery during worship nor did they attend Children's Church. They didn't do sleepovers. If they were involved in outside activities, for the most part, all of us went...even to the practices.

The only time we have really done things separate is when Kyle and I had to make long trips to Rochester during his battle with Ulcerative Colitis, when we were away during his surgeries or when the two of us get away for a few days a few times a year.

Despite how she has been raised and all the "togetherness" and dependence on one another, Mallary isn't afraid to "do her own thing". She's the one in the family who is expressive, diverse and independent. I love that one thing in particular about her.

She will grab her mp3 player and watch a movie not really giving a thought to what anyone else is doing. She will pick up the current book she is reading, climb under a blanket and read until her hearts content not worried that she's going to miss out on the activity going on around her. Out of the blue she will come to me and ask if she can play the Wii, being content to occupy herself. The other day she was in her room with the door closed and I could hear her talking. I placed my ear close to the door and discovered that she was reading to herself from the Bible out of the book of Ruth. Love, love, love...

Now I will insert here that thinking of others is something that we have really had to work hard on with Mal as sometimes she can get so absorbed in what she wants that she fails to look around her and think of others. It seems that most kids in life go through that stage and must be taught, instructed, nurtured and disciplined to meditate on and live out The Golden Rule...doing for others as you would want them to do unto you. To grasp that though we first have to think of others. She has come so far in this area...

I will also mention that in this quest of Mallary finding her individuality and us helping her to live out that God-created-designed uniqueness, we have had to show her how to form that individuality around the truths, commands and words of Christ...lining everything up with God's Word. Through this, Kyle and I have had to establish some strong and definite boundaries around those desires of individuality...like putting hot pink streaks in the hair...wearing two piece swimming suits...voicing her lack of yearning to work in the garden...snatching the last piece of pizza (yes, pizza is her FAVORITE) before asking if anyone else would like it...applying faux tattoos on her body...buying a $300.00 cell phone to add to the stash of ones she's already been given by family...overflowing the bathtub while she soaks...just to name a few.

It's been a stretching journey for the three of us but through it we have learned so much and we have discovered the beauty and richness of who Mallary is. There are numerous, countless attributes that I love about our girl but one thing in particular that I love is that she is confident in who she is and she has found joy in the way God has created her. Her likes. Her dislikes. Her interests. Her desires. Her individuality.

So the other day when it was fairly warm where we live, she asked if she could take a short break from school and go outside to get a breath of fresh air. Of course I encouraged her to do that very thing. I love the idea that she isn't afraid to be individual in those areas of life where God has made her unique. I love the idea that when she does those "alone" things that she is meeting with God herself. That she knows who she is as Mallary and not just an O'Riley. When I looked out the window to check on her this is what I saw:

My heart was warmed by this one thing in particular...
My girl is one precious individual...


For thou has possessed my reins:
thou has covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise thee;
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvelous are thy works;
and that my soul knoweth right well.
My substance was not hid from thee,
when I was made in secret...

Psalm 139