Quietness That Allows God To Be God...

Algebra 2...
Tozer's study of Hebrews...
A cup of hot coffee...
Honey Blossom Yankee flickering...
Jim Brickman.

It's been a long while & although I've sat down from time-to-time to share my heart, something happens that I am unable to finish the thoughts I desire to share. I've gotten to the place of, why start if I can't finish...thus no current posts.

I sit in quietness this morning...quiet.

I sit thinking...
Praying...
Considering.

I sit reflecting on what God is showing me and teaching me. I sit meditating on how He desires me to apply & work out that which His Spirit is instructing my heart. I sit here giving thanks that when I am at a loss, He knows the answer. He knows what I need. He is the fulfillment to my wonderings. And as I quietly seek, He gently responds.

Some days I feel like I can totally, absolutely, completely conquer the world...

And then on most other days, 

I feel like taking care of myself & remaining focused on what's "mine to own" is a feat in & of itself.

There are those days that I wake ready to jump from bed prepared to tackle anything & everything that comes to mind...even if it really isn't mine to undertake. And then there are those other days that if I think of anything other than what I know is mine to accomplish, I melt. Into a puddle. My mind gets overwhelmed & the thought of adding something extra, whether it's a physical task or something of the emotional sort, is more than my brain can compute. The past few days have been that of the 'melting in a puddle' kind. And as I begin to melt, God quietly reminds me...

...and aspire to live quietly, 

and to mind your own business, 

and to work with your own hands...

~1 Thessalonians 4:11

Every time I think on this verse, my mind drifts far & away & concocts of how life would have been here on the farm nearly 70 years ago when it was established... Before 24 hour stores... Prior to cell phones... When Sundays were a day for worship & of rest...literally. I asked Mom not long ago if Grandma Jean was a busybody "in the day"... If she would have known where her neighbors were or what they were doing at all times... In the days before social media & the "convenient" instant access to anything & everything. I can briefly remember life as such when I was a young girl. A reality that regretfully our children will never fully know.

Life in Grandpa & Grandma's day was a quiet life... A life where work was hard & it took all hours of the day to accomplish that which needed done. A life that required intentionality.

A hard life yet a simple life.

A life that took all of one's energy & diligence, where there was no time left to worry or dwell on what others were doing. Where they were going. Or their personal problems.

And I wonder...

Is that life achievable today...

Our family has attempted to live simply...quietly. And in that attempt we've many times been deemed as sheltering or removed or uninvolved. Yet it's when I'm home, away from the hustle & bustle of life, that my heart is most at peace & my mind is abundantly at rest. 

Some see that as simple-minded...and it is.

It's a place where the distractions are few & the temptations are minimal. Most would say that is an isolated world & idealistic society yet when I think back on the day-to-day life of Grandpa & Grandma, that was life. A life at home. With the exceptions of church, grocery shopping & an occasional outing with friends, that verse in 1 Thessalonians is what they purposed & aspired to live.

And they did.

Spiritually.
Physically.
Relationally.

And it's what I desire.

I think I realize this more now having a child that is married with a husband and her own home. With parents who are aging & battling health struggles. Where life isn't as easy for them as it used to be. Where daily living is more complex. Where my flesh just wants to rush in & fix it, change it, ease it & make it all okay. In correlation to the child and the parents.

And God says to my racing, churning, turning heart...

"Be still."

I met with a friend a week ago for coffee & she conveyed to me how overwhelming it is when you're trying to mentor & encourage & help others that you see could benefit from your assistance. Or at least you think. Yep. Been there. Done that.

I conveyed to her that if the very things God has entrusted me to do go undone or are neglected because of my supposed ability to help... Or if I am so overwhelmed due to trying to attach strings from my heart to twelve different people while my own people are going unnoticed... Or if my zeal & communion with God has lost it's place as a result of burning a candle at both ends...

Something is out of kilter...
Someone is out of line...
And that something or someone...
Would be me.

There are going to be times & seasons where I am asked for counsel... For help... For my physical presence. In those times & seasons, as God directs, I will counsel. I will help. I will be present. But if I constantly have my "feelers" out trying to be a super-hero to everyone that I think needs my involvement, I am failing to mind my own business. And quietness is far from me.

Been there. Done that.

Prayerfully to never do again.

I distinctly remember one of the most profound times that God enlightened me to this. My momma underwent a routine colonoscopy only to discover an area that appeared "abnormal". Shortly thereafter pathology reports confirmed that a portion of her colon would need removed & surgery was scheduled to rid her body of the suspicious section. I had firmly set in my mind for her to see the surgeon that had previous worked on Kyle & a man that we highly respected. Dad knew how I felt yet Mom was resolved to have the procedure performed at a local hospital by a local physician/surgeon. My opinion wasn't sought & although I wanted to push my case, God firmly conveyed to me to, "Be still". He distinctly told me that unless my opinion was asked, it really didn't have anything to do with me & I needed to respect their choices. Period. Suspicions were confirmed, Mom was positively diagnosed with cancer in her colon & I accompanied she & Dad to one of her initial oncology appointments in which the doctor(s) outlined all treatment options & then gave his/their recommendation as to what he/they deemed best. I knew how I felt but again, I wasn't asked therefore I didn't speak. Quietness.

The same story when MaKayla proceeded with marriage despite deep concerns that Kyle, Mal & I shared. She was aware of how we saw things yet she was certain of what God was calling her to. She was resolved in how she felt Him speaking. She was earnest in hearing His voice rather than the voice of man.

Quietness.

Quietness that allows God to be God.
Quietness that respects another's heart.
Quietness that, knowing or not, brings freedom to a restless soul.

Quietness that squelches control...

And turns it over to the One who owns it.

God has really been showing me how dwelling & mingling in the outer courts has no fruitful end, for the outer court is full of noise and activity and distractions and, as I read earlier in my commentary, "Satan is very busy to disquiet us; and we have that in our own hearts that disposes us to be disquiet..." Yet it is in the inner court...within the holy-of-holies...where we find quietness & solitude & intimacy. Where we can be still & know...that God is. Who God is. And what God desires of me...you...us. Sadly, we'd rather meander... Hearing other people's stories... Problems... Dilemmas. All of which God instructs us to steer clear of & stay far from. For in these things destruction looms. Waits. Entices.

God says...
Live a quiet life...
Mind your own business...
Work with your own hands...
Be still.

Sadly, we meander...
We mingle...
We dwell...

In the noise.
In the activity.
In the distractions.

And as a result, we are burdened, overwhelmed, weighted down.
We can't sort out what is ours & what belongs to someone else.
We try to fix that which we have no tools to repair...
And we concern ourselves with things that really are none of our business.

God says...
Live a quiet life.
Mind your own business.
Work with your own hands.
Be still.

And if we do, His Word says that we will walk honestly...
We will behave properly...
We will win respect.

Many times this requires plugging our ears...
Scaling our eyes...
Shielding our hearts...
And swiftly making our way through the outer courts.

It requires constantly, daily, continually, reminding myself to seek God for direction in...
What He wants me to accomplish...
Who He longs for me to reach out to...
Where He desires for my feet to go...
The words He asks me to speak...
Which situations He compels me to involve myself...
Or not.

With my girl...
With my daddy or my momma...
With my friends...
With my family...
With those in my midst.

~quietness~

making no noise or sound

free from noise

silent

restrained in speech or manner

free from disturbance or tumult

being at rest

refraining or free from activity

It's hard...
It takes intentionality...
It requires discipline.

It means saying no to the flesh & yes to God.

It is my purpose.
It is my passion.
It is my desire.

Quietness.

Swiftly moving through the outer courts...
And finding my dwelling in the most holy place.

Quietness.

I am finished with the attempt to conquer the world...
I am up for the challenge of taking care of myself & remaining focused on what's "mine to own".

...and aspire to live quietly, 

and to mind your own business, 

and to work with your own hands...

~1 Thessalonians 4:11