A Merry Heart... An Excellent Spirit...

It was tough as I pulled myself out of bed shortly after five this morning. Kyle was already up & going & when I emerged from the bedroom he was dressed for work, sitting at the table, doing his morning Bible study. It's a sweet sight for me to see... I poured us some coffee & then we sat together in the quiet silence... Reading... Studying... Gleaning nourishment to catapult our day & discover direction for our steps. His alarm signaled saying he had ten minutes remaining until departure time so he removed his reading glasses, laid aside his journal & pen, and proceeded to share with me how God spoke to his heart. It's reassuring to a wife to hear the moving of God in the life of the one who has been chosen to lead her. Thankful I am. ♥

Kyle left, I returned inside & sat down in our old, wooden rocker with my Bible, journal, commentary & pen. As my eyes fell upon the words of Proverbs 17, the Holy Spirit magnified specific verses that I needed to take intentional notice of... It's amazing to me that after several months of reading through Proverbs, day-by-day, each month, how even after reading those same verses on each day of every month, different aspects stand out. God grows & builds & deepens & expands my understanding. Same verses yet each month, they mean something unique. They mean more. Today, there were three that my eyes kept returning to & two of them I studied more in-depth...

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: 

but a broken spirit drieth the bones. 

(v.22)

He that hath knowledge spareth his words: 

and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.

 (v.27)

A merry heart...
works as medicine.

A broken spirit...
disintegrates health.

It made me think of a news clip that Mal shared with me yesterday regarding a woman from Italy who is currently 116 years old. A woman whose doctor attributes her longevity to living life with a positive attitude.

There's so much talk in this new-agish world we live in about positive thoughts... Thinking positively... Good vibes... Positive energy...

And sadly most equate all of those things with prayer or some mystical connection to God yet God isn't interested in positive thoughts, He's interested in our heart. And the condition therein. Positive thoughts, good vibes & positive energy have nothing to do with being connected to God. Our connection to God is through His Word & through prayer. Thoughts aren't prayers unless/until they're prayed. Spoken. Uttered. Offered.

Through the mediation of Jesus.

He is our avenue.
Our intercessor.
The Way.

To God.

So when my eyes fell upon the words 'a merry heart', I contemplated what that meant... What that looks like... How that is lived out... And where I fall short.

A week or so ago I had a conversation with an individual about people who are simply discontent & indifferent. Not just about one area of life but about most all areas. It's become who they are & how they process life as a whole. It's a habit. A way of decoding. And as we conversed, I came to the conclusion that some people don't want to be enjoyed & nor do they want to be enjoyable. And as I contemplated the conversation...

I saw myself.

Not making myself enjoyable...
Nor wanting to be enjoyed.

Indifferent.

Or as the Bible refers to it...

Froward.

Difficult...
Contrary...
Just because I can be.

And as the individual & I conversed, God showed me many things. He revealed pieces of myself to myself. And like so many times before (and how I most often learn of things that need to change in my life), I saw myself through what troubled me about someone else.

As in water face answereth to face,

so the heart of man to man.

~Proverbs 27:19

God showed me who He didn't want me to any longer be & He bestowed pity on my heart for another.

A merry heart...

A froward heart is in no way a merry heart. And it's something I have been working on. I want to be a pleasant person. I want to be enjoyed. I want to be enjoyable.

A merry heart...
A rejoicing heart.
A glad heart.

The verse goes on to say that a broken spirit dries up the bones. Destroys health. Breaks down the body. And as Matthew Henry points out...

*sorrows of the mind

*burdens of affliction

*a wounded conscience laden with guilt & fear

*melancholy dispositions

They break the spirit & dry up the bones. They wear a person out & replace vitality with exhaustion. They dissolve a person from the inside out. They generate death... First emotional. Then physical. And even more than that they dim our radiance & negate our witness. We fail to be an emission of salt & light.

Personally, I know pride & criticism & insecurity & bitterness & self-protection have played an integral part in arriving me in a place of possessing a froward heart. Being contrary. Difficult. Obstinate. Peevish. Cross. In turn, I've lost sight of knowing how to love well. Abundantly. Void of partiality.

And then I look on...

...a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. (ch. 17, v. 27)

An excellent spirit...
denotes/signifies a man of understanding.

Again, Matthew Henry clarifies for me... An excellent heart is one who has:
*a precious spirit (tender)
*a cool spirit
*not heated with passion (anger/irritability)
*failing to allow tumult or disorder by the force/energy of corrupt affection (offense)
*a warm heart

And then I look back...

The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water:

therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with. (ch. 17, v. 27)

Which reminded me of last nights facebook conversation I had with one who stirs, spurs & shares the growings of my heart... Letting things go. Leaving off contention. Turning situations over to God. Most especially offenses. For when I don't, the spirit becomes broken. And the bones dry up. My spirit. My bones.

A merry heart...

A heart that rejoices in God...
A heart that serves with gladness.
A heart that is pleasant.
A heart that is enjoyable.
A heart that allows itself to be enjoyed.

An excellent spirit...

A spirit that is warm.
A spirit that is understanding.
A spirit that is unmoved even in the midst of offense or corrupt affection.
A spirit that is tender & moldable & sees the good even in the midst of the not-so-much.
A spirit that loves.

That's who I want to be...
That's who God desires me to be.

It's not about positive energy... Positive thoughts... Good vibes... It's about a heart that is surrendered to it's Maker. A heart that looks beyond that which it is feeling & chooses to see God in the midst of the mess.

Positive thoughts & positive energy & good vibes are self-generated... A merry heart & an excellent spirit are contrived through the One who can construct beauty out of ashes. Who can making things right even when they appear all wrong.

Positive energy & positive thoughts & good vibes are just that...energy...thoughts...vibes. They go as quickly as they come. They fail a connection to God. With God. They extend no further than our mind.

I need more than that.

I need someone who & something that possesses power & strength & might...when I am incapable of seeing things for what they are. When tumult & disorder are knocking on the door of my heart. When heated passions within want to revile. When I want to give up & I grow weary of trying.

That someone...He's Jesus.
That something...His Living Word.

A merry heart...
An excellent spirit...

My desire.
God's desire for me.