My lengthy blogpost is nearly finished & will soon be filed into the hidden archives. So much understanding, freedom & release comes in doing the painful & although I had to push myself to continue on, I am so thankful that I did. Honestly, putting thought to finger is a means of revelation, wisdom & redemption for me. Getting my thoughts out gives me the ability to let loose & move forward. With the sentiments of my heart documented, I can free up that portion of storage space...in my mind...in my heart...in my spirit. I can let it go & let God work it out. So blessed by friends who challenge me to do that which would be easier to bury...suppress...harbor yet what benefit are any of those things? None at all. To anyone. And gives Satan the opportunity to continually resurface. No thanks. I'm in search of freedom, not bondage. I may post a few of the excerpts that I feel may be beneficial to others & where specific details lack disclosing... Love is the rule... Love protects. ♥
Something that has been wafting in & out of my mind & that God keeps showing forth glimpses of is maturity. Maturity. And most of us as adults would think that since we are adults, we are mature. But I wonder...are we? The areas God has been showing glimpses of, He asks, "What does maturity look like in this situation? How would maturity show forth in that response?" It's made me do a lot of thinking & searching. Seeking & evaluating.
I have a small, diverse, humble circle of women on facebook who belong to a closed group that I created a year or so ago. It's a group that I comb for thoughts... Insight... Understanding... Most of them have never met, don't know one another or have no association with each other yet we are all sisters...in Christ. I am grateful for their sporadic fellowship & transparent hearts in this journey of life. So grateful. Last week's question was, "In doing some study this morning I am attempting to comprise a list of specific marks of maturity. I have a few things penned but wanted to ask for further thoughts on what you see/deem as attributes of spiritual & emotional maturity? Anyone willing to share?" One humble heart shared that she was having such an "immature week" that she wasn't sure she could identify with maturity. Haven't we all been there? Transparency at it's finest. :) One mentioned humility & another selflessness. A few others... An open mind, willing to look at both sides of anything. As well as turning the other cheek & taking more flack than we deserve. Another sweet sister who I have never personally met yet have deeply grown to love & respect (and someday hope to sit across the table from) first said the Fruit of the Spirit came to her mind & then added, "When the Bible uses the word 'perfect' it can mean mature, particularly in the NT. (Like when it says in Timothy that the man of God be perfect.) Job was called perfect in the same verse he was described as upright, feared God & eschewed evil." Ah...this resonated. And compelled me to dig...deep...into God's Word. Her response sharpened me into looking past surface maturity & searching to know how God sees & defines maturity. Do any of you know how I passionately wish & wish passionately that I could weekly sit with a group of women to dig & search & seek...together...over coffee or hot tea...with Bibles wide open...and hearts lain bare? In order to know more?
I had already scribbled several thoughts of revelation in my journal...
Content...
Peaceful...
Focused.
And as I worked around the house, the Lord would place more on my heart...
Certain...
Intentional...
Resolved.
And as I reflected on how I processed life, more filtered in...
And I was enlightened to my "lacking".
Unshaken...
Assertive...
Unselfish.
Bit-by-bit...my list grew...
Not emotionally driven...
Doesn't minimize others...
Solid.
The ability to distinguish correction from criticism...
Conviction from condemnation...
Sharpening from ridicule.
Consistent...
Quiet-at-heart...
Owns mistakes.
Lives in the Spirit rather than in the flesh...
Self-discipline...
Sees personal weakness as a means of growth...
Isn't prone to self-pity/self-martyrdom.
Loving and forgiving as a child would...
Thinking and responding as an adult.
Doesn't feel the need to defend oneself...
Faces adversity rather than runs from it...
Desires to grow/enlarge others.
Mature people are aware of the desires, feelings & purposes of those around them as a means to not intentionally offend yet they don't "own" those desires, feelings & purposes themselves.
Faces conflict with humility & courage...
Rejoices with others in their accomplishments...
Takes ownership of responsibility.
Mature people know who they are, how & what they believe.
They take ownership of their individual feelings, desires, purposes & emotions & they not only fail to ask others to take ownership/responsibility for those things but they, as well, don't allow others to diminish, discourage, negate or devalue the person they are.
Doesn't use manipulation to get their own way...
Not an excuse-maker.
Receives correction, conviction & sharpening with grace...
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
If I placed a big, red ouch beside each area that I know without any question that I fall short in, well, you would think vastly different of me.
If I graded myself on this list above & marked a bold, red check mark near the ones I am lacking in, my grade would be one of failure.
Considering the list thus far, how do you see yourself in light of maturity?
There is NO drama in the heart of a mature person.
Drama that says...
Look at me...
Feel sorry for me...
Take pity on me...
See how wonderful I am...
Please place your attention on me.
As my one sister-in-Christ shared, some days/weeks I do fairly well & others...well...epic fail. This compilation really stretched me & gave me much to think about & consider. Honestly, it's made me more aware of when I know I am not acting or responding in a mature manner & it reminds me...
It reminds me that I am 40-something & God expects me to act as such...
I mean really, when we act or respond in an immature manner, what does this do to our Christian witness & our integral character? These aren't elementary concepts however how often do we truly evaluate? For me, not near enough.
~maturity~
*The ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner.
Appropriate manner... Yep, if I compare that statement to the list above, it works.
*This response is generally learned rather than instinctive.
Interesting... Maturity is learned... Somewhere... At some point... From someone. Maturity doesn't just happen. Which means that since we are adults, people, of all ages, are watching us. Learning from us. This reality was enlightening & humbling. Someone watching could be modeling their level of maturity after me...
*Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time & place to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in.
This statement made me think of several things... It reminded me of MaKayla & Mal watching Barney as little tykes & learning that some voices are intended for inside use & some for outside. It makes me think of times when we tried to help kids understand that running outside or in a gymnasium is acceptable where inside a church or enclosed building is not. It stirs me to remember that certain conversations of sensitivity are acceptable with some people & some simply aren't. The list is endless...
Once I had this list tucked safely in my journal, I began studying Biblical/spiritual maturity... And I turned immediately to my concordance, commentary & Greek-Hebrew Bible. I first focused in on six specific Scriptures & after reading them individually, I expanded the study into reading the entire chapter where each verse originated in order to gain a better understanding. So that I made sure that what I was reading was in context.
"The goal of the Christian is expressed by the Greek word teleioteta, which is translated 'maturity'. The believer is to pursue maturity instead of going back to the initial rudiments of Christianity."
The questions that stir within me in correlation to that explanation are...
How many Christians have intentional, spiritual goals?
How many believers pursue spiritual maturity?
full-grown in mind and understanding
in knowledge of the truth
in Christian faith & virtue
irreproachable, blameless, fitted, complete, perfect, entire, whole
NOT to be confused with the Greek word anamartetos, meaning without sin or sinless.
the act of completing, finishing, a filling up
Do you notice all the things maturity is & the one thing it is not?
As I studied, the more God's Word became the solid, foundational platform that upholds that lengthy "surface list" outlined above.
1 Corinthians 2
Be mature in understanding & wisdom & then live by it. If the Spirit lives within me, I have understanding in regard to spiritual things. Do I accept that which the Spirit imparts? Do I apply it & live by it? Spiritual maturity does.
1 Corinthians 14
Mature individuals aren't self-edifying. They are always mindful of strengthening & encouraging the weak rather than "parading" their strengths. They don't seek what is best or most comfortable for themselves rather they consider the enlargement or furtherance of others. Is this how I live? Spiritual maturity does.
Ephesians 4
Maturity is keeping the bonds of peace & remaining unified with other Christians even when we may not agree. It is remaining consistent in what we know rather than being influenced by emotion or manipulation. For our goal is to sharpen one another & to encourage one another in the wake of eternity. To help those we share spiritual bloodlines with grow & be strong as we sojourn this side of Heaven. Are those my goals? What about you? Spiritual maturity does this.
Philippians 3
Maturity is leaving the past & the shame therein behind us. It is taking where we've been & where God has brought us & sharing it as a testimony of His goodness & faithfulness. It's using what we have learned to press on to find, gain & achieve that which Christ has in store for us. It is looking past differences with fellow believers in order to make much of Christ, all-the-while, seeking to gain understanding & clarity at the core of those differences. Do I do these things? Do I let shame go free when my sin is forgiven or do I stay connected to it? How about you? And is your greatest desire to make much of Christ even when other Christians don't agree with your position? And at the disagreement am I willing to continue searching until I know that I know that I know what God has shown me is Truth? And if I was seeing things wrong am I willing to acknowledge my ignorance in order to establish a stronger unity? Spiritual maturity does.
Colossians 1
Maturity is growing up in Christ. It's daily deepening our understanding & our knowledge of who He is & who He has created us, as His children, to be. It's moving past the milk & having a genuine hunger & desire for the meat. It's taking our eyes off of the temporal in order to strive for the eternal & having our focus being away from we, in the flesh & fixing our gaze on He, in the Spirit. Do you find yourself satisfied or are you always looking for something new to learn? Are you getting enough nourishment to just get by or are you consistently hungry for "the more"? Are you going deeper? Seeing further? Spiritual maturity never settles.
Hebrews 5
Maturity is knowing the basic principles of salvation & God's Word & moving beyond. It is the ability to move past the "stories", the familiar passages, the Scriptures that are flippantly used & having the ability to see the depth beyond the surface. It's building on the foundational truths. It's taking the wisdom/knowledge gleaned & applying it...putting it to use...working it out. Do I do this like I should? Or am I at times like the soil upon which the seed fell but didn't allow it to penetrate, take root & sprout in preparation for growth & the bearing of fruit? Spiritual maturity does.
Spiritual maturity is moving past the milk (basic teachings) & embracing the meat...
But we can't do that if we aren't in the Word.
Daily.
Toddlers don't stay toddlers...
Adolescents don't remain adolescents.
Or at least they shouldn't...
And most would question if they did.
Yet sadly, the vast majority of Christians never advance beyond the stage in which they turned their lives over to Christ. Like all other transitions in life our walk with God is a gradual transformation by being stretched & challenged & nudged out of our comfort zone. It's moving past the elementary teachings & searching His Word to know more. To gain a better understanding. To gain wisdom on who He wants us to be. But how many are willing to put forth the effort? What number of Christians are comfortable right where they are? And have no desire to be anything or anyone different?
That list above...
Pushes me...
Stretches me...
Challenges me.
The ability to see past the surface of another person's heart to the truth & depth therein yet without the compulsion to judge, condemn or offend...
It reminds me that I've come a long way from where I was but reveals that I still have a long way to go.
As I've pondered this I see where the church itself is partially responsible yet we as individuals are responsible as well. Many pastors continue to teach the pablum (as my pops refers to it) & fail to place the meat in front of their congregations. They shy away from the complicated teachings or the areas that could cause unrest, discomfort or confusion. However isn't that where transformation most often takes place? Isn't that where you see the most growth in children? When they are encouraged to go from crawling to walking? When teething takes place? When they have to stop using their fingers to feed themselves & are challenged to use a fork & spoon? Transition is a part of everyday life...except in our walk with Christ. We don't want anyone to feel offended/
And we remain immature...
Stunted...
Unlearned.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
~1 Corinthians 13:11
Because if we aren't being challenged to transform, grow & expand our knowing in the public meeting of worship, we must take responsibility, through the grace & influence of the Holy Spirit, to engage a deeper learning for ourselves.
It's essential.
And something we will be held accountable for.
Whether it's getting up earlier, staying up later or removing something from our schedule that carves time out & frees up space for study & prayer.
When it comes down to it, maturity is a choice.
Whether of the secular nature or of the spiritual nature...
It's a reality that requires desire & effort...
Sacrifice & intentionality.
I look at my life & it's tempting to be deeply ashamed...
For so many reasons...
In so many areas.
I haven't handled things correctly nor have I responded in a responsible manner. I recognize so much immaturity in regard to my role as a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I see where I have acted in so many unbecoming ways with fellow Christians & unbelievers alike. I am reminded of moments where I could have been a tool of instruction but instead I allowed the other person/people no opportunity for learning. I acknowledge situations where I have been more of a disgrace to God rather than an instrument for His glory.
Those moments when I felt like I had to "prove" myself...
Or defend.
Those instances where instead of listening & remaining still...
I felt compelled to contribute my "two cents".
Those situations in which I felt intimidated or insecure...
And I recoiled into self-pity.
Those times that I knew I should be considering the other person...
And I could only think of self.
Those circumstances where an element of drama was added...
But was so unnecessary & only added an emotional twist in order to place attention on me.
My heart confesses...
I am humbled...
I am repentant.
And now that I have been enlightened I have no excuse & every time I refer to this list I am reminded. I may often feel as though I have a "right" to act, respond or display an attitude as I wish yet such thinking is shallow; for God is continuously placing me in opportunities & situations where I can make much of Him & be an example to others.
He is showing me that in my "lacking", He desires to redeem me. Where in those "wasted years" with MaKayla & Mal, he longs to guide me in helping them see maturity for what it truly is. That I can genuinely apologize to them for the poor example I have been yet vow to point them in the right direction through my words, my attitude, my actions & my responses. That they can detect a difference in me & begin to repattern some of their "learned tendencies". ♥ I never meant to damage...that was my last intention & I am most thankful that ignorance can be redeemed through the grace of God & the blood of Christ.
So thankful...
For grace that covers...
And blood that cleanses.
If you've made it through this lengthy post, I would be humbled & honored to hear your thoughts. ♥
Was maturity modeled for you in your formative years?
Do you feel like you have a good grasp on maturity?
Are there areas after reading this where you see adjustments could be implemented?
Thank you for doing this Christ-following journey with me. ♥
Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.
~1 Corinthians 14:20
We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn.
In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you
the elementary truths of God's word all over again.
You need milk not solid food!
Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant,
is not acquainted with the teachings about righteousness.
But solid food is for the mature,
who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity,
not laying again the foundation of repentance from the acts that lead to death,
and of faith in God, instructions about baptisms, the laying on of hands,
the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgement.
~Hebrews 5:14 - 6:1-2
I so love reading your thoughts. I definitely want to be mature in my ways with the Lord.
ReplyDelete