My Ultimate Desire...

The kitchen is finally clean after MaKayla, Mal & I spent the entire afternoon occupying it's space. Kyle asked me if I would make him some homemade bread today so as I was thinking on starting that project, I remembered all the "need-to-be-used" pears waiting to be retrieved from our brimming tree (and those that had already fallen on the ground). Once MaKayla was finished creating a new design on Mal's toes, I sent her to the pear tree while I looked up a recipe for Pear Butter & Mal took care of some laundry on the clothesline. Once all our "little" tasks were complete, we started in on making Pear Butter for Kyle's homemade bread... ♥ It was a messy project but lots of fun & very rewarding to see the fruit of our labor successful! :)

Everyone is gone to worship team practice but me.
It gives me time to think over the events, conversations & lessons of the day.
One in particular sticks out in my mind.

 Both girls were quietly engaged in their devotions when one of them said, "I have a question for both of you? Do you feel as though you live each day to the fullest?" I somewhat knew where the question was stemming from although her Bible lay open in front of her so I wasn't completely sure. I, myself have been doing a great deal of reading which can be untypical of me yet last night as the girls returned from an evening visit with a friend, they overheard me reading aloud to Kyle an excerpt from the book I am currently partaking of. It talks of living life fully... Being thankful... Finding joy in the every day...

I pondered her question.
I thought it through before speaking.
At this point in my life, my heart is a fertile field longing for seed.
Begging for God to provide abundant moisture for those seeds that He is planting.
Asking Him to send His sunshine & warmth so that those seeds can spring into healthy plants.
Where eventually they will bring forth fruit for His glory.

Because of what I've been reading, studying & meditating over, I answered the question much differently than maybe I would have otherwise. My thought cycle is changing. God is transforming the way I process life. He's giving me a different perspective.

Only days ago, I would have correlated "living life fully" to what I accomplish in any given day or if I had made the most of every opportunity that I was afforded, yet today, it all appeared differently to me.

Living life fully reflects my attitude towards people or situations or circumstances.
Living life fully mirrors the way I process stress, difficulty or trial.
Living life fully resounds if I was willing or patient or available.
Living life fully resonates whether I LOVED WELL...

It used to be about how I used my time. Where I went. Who I saw.
It used to be about how I used every minute. How productive I was. How happy I appeared.
It used to be about "To Do Lists" & whether or not everything got checked off that list.
It used to be about how clean the house was or if the laundry was done or if supper was successful.

But today...
It's all about who I am, how I respond & how well I love...

Living life fully means seeking God's guidance in starting each day, living each day & ending each day with no regrets...

It means MaKayla & Mallary end the day knowing their momma loved them to the fullest. That I was understanding, patient & available. That I laughed with them, cried with them & pointed them to Jesus. That I nurtured their hearts & brought them one step closer to being prepared for the path that God has for them someday.

It means Kyle knows that I am his & his alone. That I love him with my everything. That I adore who he is.That I am grateful for the sacrifices he so willingly makes for our family. That I empower him through my words, my submission, my respect & my attitude. That I care for the in-home needs of our family. That I am his helpmeet, his lover & his friend. That I am a diligent prayer warrior on his behalf.

It means abiding in the presence of Christ & being willing to be His hands & feet in whatever capacity He asks of me. It means being thankful for the gift of His life. It means being obedient.

It's my desire.
My ultimate desire.
To. Live. Life. Fully.