The Unparalleled Lens Of Humility...

Where to begin...

~Birthdays~

~A new member to our family~

~Gardening~

~Life~

Life is beautiful but do we always see it that way?

MaKayla & I were sharing an in-depth phone conversation the other day & in the course of our discussion, I mentioned to her that we will always perceive life through whatever lens we are looking through at that present moment. And depending on what lens we are looking through & how we are perceiving the image we are looking at, will many times determine our attitude... Our countenance... Our response. I could look at one situation through five different lenses & with every lens change, I would see it differently... Subsequently my attitude, my countenance & my response would vary. If I am looking at a particular situation through the lens of pride, the product might be selfishness... If I am looking at it through the lens of hurt, the result might be self-pity. If I am looking at that same situation through the lens of insecurity, I see shame... Bitterness, anger... Resentment, hatred. Pity, mercy. Humility, love.

As 2016 was winding down, the word the Lord seared on my heart for the 2017 year was humility. Abasement. Considering Christ first, others next & self last. And after five months of "orientation", I am finally getting familiar with automatically guiding my heart/mind/spirit to view life through the lens of humility. Not in just one situation...but in every situation. I will be candidly honest, I am a defaulter at heart, therefore my tendency is to revert to the flesh & follow the fickleness of emotions much like a "stress eater" turns to junk food to satiate/suppress inward (and outward) chaos. Although such behaviors briefly soothe the starving flesh, they malnourish the spirit. A momentary fulfillment, delivers indefinite starvation. In turn we are driven to return for more & more & more & we are no more satisfied in the end than we were in the beginning. We end up full...but of what? We end up sick...but do we know the cause? Or do we even care?

We can look through lenses that gratify self...but gratification only lasts for a season... We can view life & the complicated situations therein through lenses that only require change in the other person, but the only person we can have any control of changing is self... We can peer circumstances through lenses that would seemingly deliver ideal results, but they never do.

A momentary fulfillment, delivers indefinite starvation.

I have a few specific situations present in my life that, no matter how hard I think or how much I analyze or how many self-concocted elixirs I formulate, there simply is no cure to heal that which is cancerous & diseased. They keep my mind in a whirl... There is no blue-print to repair that which is broken. They cause my heart to be perpetually unsettled... And in the process of driving myself crazy trying to put back together what is undone, I found myself destitute & desperate. They keep my spirit groping, probing, pursuing as if hunting for a needle in a haystack. I found myself reaching for different lenses in order to see...as means to view from every angle...in an attempt that if I saw things "just right", I would discover the missing element to my elixir, the absent measurement to my blueprint, the mysterious glue that would bring wholeness. In an attempt to understand & restore. Reconcile & redeem. In an attempt to regain control. When I looked through the lens of hurt, I saw self-pity... When I peeked through the lens of bitterness, I found anger... When I peered through the lens of pride, I saw empowerment...but in an ungodly, self-generated way... When I viewed through the lens of insecurity, I saw condemnation & shame... And with each new perspective, I became sicker & weaker & more vulnerable. My countenance, attitude & demeanor followed. I became more mindless & helpless & hopeless & my responses followed suit...until I took hold of & lifted the lens of humility to my heart/mind/spirit & it was then that I saw peace... And rest... And assurance... And love... It was then that my spirit was quieted & my heart was contented. It was then that I was reminded that even though my situation wasn't rectified or resolved, it was well with my soul knowing Christ was aware & attentive. Advocating & interceding. Working in both the circumstance as well as in my heart.

Some things I have resolved, I can't fix nor can I change...

Life is messy & relationships are hard. People are beyond understanding & at the crux of it all, we typically only see things from our own individual standpoint based on how we were raised, what path our life has taken & diverse personal experiences we have encountered along the way, coupled with how steadfastly we are grounded in Christ & the Word. Our days on this earth & the contents therein don't always turn out as we had hoped yet intentionally purposing to examine our each every encounter through the unparalleled lens of humility, will always allow us to see things in the proper perspective. They allow us to see things through the vantage point of Christ.

Some things, 

I must lay at the feet of Christ & submit to His authority...

Over these past days/weeks/months, I have concluded that those situations in life in which things are beyond my control or contain more living, breathing components than just myself...situations that God allows to go "unfixed"..."unhealed"..."incomplete"...are there for specific reasons & purposes... They are there to act as "thorns in my flesh" as a means to grow my dependence upon Him, preserve humility in my heart & perfect the Fruit of the Spirit in every facet of my being... Remember? I am a defaulter... I need constant reminders... Repetitive promptings to refocus... Continual episodes of discomfort & vulnerability in order to redirect me back to Jesus. Hopefully one day...someday...the lens of humility will be so familiar & instinctive that I don't need a piercing thorn to signal which lens I am to look through.

They are there to remind me of what I am not, yet Whose I am.

As I reflect back on that teary-eyed, broken-hearted, painfully-candid conversation with my precious girl who, in the perplexity/complexity of life, is seeking to walk in the way that glorifies her Lord & examplifies the Person He is, my spirit is reassured in knowing, that no matter how long it may take, nor the outcome that may result, it is well...for He can be trusted & He is faithful.

But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, 

gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: 

against such there is no law.

~Galatians 5:22-23~