I went to bed with heavy heart in regard to some things that were weighing on me. As I laid there in Kyle's arms unable to sleep...unable for my mind to rest, the Lord spoke ever so softly to my heart, "How do you think analyzing is going to change these situations? Do you believe that if you continue to think them through that you are going to arrive at a solution? Mendi, there are certain things you simply can't change. Give them to Me. Let Me work them out." Within moments I was asleep.
As I stood at the sink this morning doing dishes, my mind went back to how God spoke to me last night, and I reprocessed His words.
His instructions.
"Let go. Let Me."
I meditated on the things that were so weighty on my heart & I realized that God has allowed situations in my life to teach me. To grow me. To sharpen me. To see things in my life that are hurtful to others & unbeneficial in my longing to glorify Him. Attitudes that I extend toward people I love that they can't understand.
Sometimes God allows us to see ourselves clearly through the life of another individual in an attempt for us to starkly see who we ourselves are.
Humbling.
Those areas that Satan wants to keep "hidden"..."undercover"..."concealed"...
Those places he wants us to remain ignorant to.
He wants to keep us so caught up in the turmoil of the situation that we are blinded to the solution.
Prayer.
Surrendering to God.
Trust.
Dish-by-dish I reconciled my heart to the One I love most.
"Forgive me for my portion of wrong in this situation & reveal to me the restitution I need to make. Deliver me from the guilt, condemnation & shame that wants to drape over my spirit & make me aware when I endeavor to place these same weights on others. Liberate me from the bondage of such generational curses that Satan has been so deceptive in & saturate me with Your perfect peace."
Many times our thoughts, attitudes & responses toward people/situations are so learned & familiar that we don't even begin to realize the damage & destruction that lies within them.
Until we ourselves are staring them in the face.
It's in these times that we need to set our faces like flint on Christ & allow Him to shine His light of grace & love so intricately into our hearts that all may be revealed.
He has a lesson of growth in every situation of life...
If we have a desire to be taught...
And are discerning enough to recognize...
But sadly, more times than not, we don't want to see "our part".
It's easier on us to focus on "theirs"...
Instead of focusing on the anger...
Or the hurt...
Or the justification of our feelings...
Instead of defending ourselves...
Or making excuses...
Or wallowing in self-pity...
We need to ask the Lord to show us the err in our lives.
Because typically, the ought we see in others, we ourselves possess in one form or another.
Convicting.
I'm grateful for grace today. And as a wise, seasoned & beloved friend shared with me Saturday evening, grace is God's equipping & provision for what He desires to do in our lives.
God has clearly revealed an area of my heart that is need of change.
And because of grace, as I surrender my heart to Him & submit to His will, He is able, more than able to accomplish what concerns me today.
Letting go.
Letting Him.
#874~freedom from the yoke of guilt, condemnation & shame...all because of Christ
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
