If Only For Awhile...

This post is per MaKayla’s request…

A great Christian couple that lives not too far from us called MaKayla a few weeks back asking if she would be interested or willing to help them out for several days caring for some things around their home while they were away on vacation. They happen to breed & sell English Bulldogs so the majority of her responsibility was to care for seven momma dogs & 30 puppies, one of which need bottle-fed. She would need to let mommas out, clean pens, let mommas in, let puppies eat, let puppies out, let puppies in, do momma/puppy laundry & of course love on them in between time. It was a tremendous opportunity & one that she saw as a great challenge & blessing.

In the midst of these puppies was one that wasn’t “thriving” therefore he needed to be bottle-fed every three-to-four hours. He was a tiny little thing…helpless & needy…yet so sweet. Upon the return of our friends, MaKayla was offered to take this little one home to shower with TLC & care for. If he survived, she could keep him for her own. Jon told MaKayla to take her time in deciding, there was no pressure at all. On our trip home that day we discussed the idea as a family & came to the unified conclusion that we would love the opportunity. ♥

Sunday afternoon found us picking up our “baby” who we affectionately called “Winston”. We gathered baby blankets, suitable options for a bed, a baby bottle that we thought might work, a heating pad & other supplies to care for this new addition to our family. ♥

The first night MaKayla & Mal slept out on the living room floor with “Winston” close beside. Kyle & MaKayla set their cell phone alarms every three hours to awake for this little guys feedings. After the first night, MaKayla somewhat learned the responsibility of a needy baby. Waking, feeding, burping, cleaning & tucking back in “bed” only to wake three hours later to do it again. She never, ever complained but grew closer & closer attached… ♥ She loved… ♥ She cared… ♥ She nurtured… ♥ She cuddled… ♥

Winston grew & became more active. He thrived. He pooped (often). He cried (only a little as with every little whimper somebody came running). He scooted around. Simply put…he was precious! ♥

Thursday we decided to take him for well-vet check since we thought he might have a minor infection that needed to be treated with antibiotics. Us girls loaded him up in the van & off we went. I drove so that MaKayla could cuddle “Baby Winston”. We ran through ‘Sonic’ for Happy Hour Limeades & then off to the vet to meet Kyle for “Winston’s” first appointment. ♥

Dr. Ed came in & we chatted a bit as he started assessing our baby. Heart checked out healthy. Eyes were starting to open. Color was good. Upon the last part of Winston’s check, Dr. Ed discovered something that concerned him greatly. A problem that without multiple complicated surgeries simply couldn’t be fixed. And even with the surgeries, there was no guarantee. The problem was one that would involve other issues as this little guy got older. ♥

We were shocked.

We were devastated.

We were saddened.

He gave us options…

Put Baby Winston to sleep…

Do nothing &see what happened…

Pursue specialized surgeries…

Go home & think it over…

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I looked at MaKayla. ♥

MaKayla looked at Me. ♥

The tears started to flow… ♥

Dr. Ed looked helpless…

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He was just as saddened as the four of us, for that is where we took Kyle’s black lab, Fletcher when he was sick. He really didn’t want to play this scene with us again.

We talked it over & since MaKayla had already began noticing some of the “signs” that Dr. Ed explained would probably start evidencing themselves, she came to the heart-wrenching conclusion that she didn’t want her “baby” suffer as she had seen Fletcher. She held him tightly in her arms, tears streaming down her face, looking at me, wishing, hoping that the situation were different. We again tossed around our options & again she said, “I don’t want to let him go, but I can’t selfishly hold on when I know he can’t get better & there is nothing I can do to help him. I won’t make a decision that chooses suffering for him.” ♥

MaKayla held Winston, gave him kisses & then allowed Dr. Ed to do what needed to be done. We stayed in the room. Desiring to be close. We carefully wrapped him in his soft little blanket (one that once held MaKayla & Mal when they were tiny babies), paid our bill & quietly left the clinic. Mal rode home with her daddy. MaKayla, with Winston cradled in her arms, rode home with me. ♥

A sad, tearful & empty ride home… ♥

I know to some this seems like a silly thing. I might too, if I hadn’t walked the road myself… But to us, it was real. It was traumatic. It was painful. It cut to the core of our hearts. ♥

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Kyle & MaKayla found a box just Winston’s size, lined it with a cuddly little fleece blanket and then carefully laid his lifeless body inside & closed the top. Kyle wrote a little note on top & then offered for MaKayla to do the same. ♥ On it she penned:

I’ll like you forever... ♥

I’ll love you for always... ♥

As long as I’m living... ♥

My baby you’ll be… ♥

Kyle prayed…for peace…for comfort… ♥

He thanked God for the short-lived opportunity to love a life so helpless… ♥

For even if it was for only awhile, it was worth it! ♥

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MaKayla chose a spot that she wanted Winston buried. ♥

Front yard. ♥

Under a tree visible from the front door & picture window. ♥

Kyle went to work digging & once the hole was the necessary size, MaKayla carefully laid the box inside. Handful-by-handful she sprinkled dirt over Winston’s box until the hole was filled. ♥

We sat as a family… ♥

Sun beginning to set… ♥

Warm breeze blowing… ♥

Mourning over loss… ♥

Kyle again prayed… ♥

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The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

Job 1:21

In a post upcoming, MaKayla will be sharing life-lessons she has learned through Winston’s journey. ♥