How long will the drought linger?

Long time no blog. So long that I've nearly forgotten how to "operate" the site. :) Yet as I arrive at the "posting page", it all returns & feels comfortingly familiar. ♥

The break was nice...the whole four months of it but I greatly missed it as well. I knew the Lord was asking me to lay it aside for a time...
To make Him my focus.
To ponder what He was showing me.
And to apply it directly to my heart rather than to "pen" it on a page.
A fruitful sabbatical.

Much has happened/changed in my life & in our family since the last post I shared.
Exciting events...
Difficult events...
But all good.
For even when we can't see it at the moment, God promises that He will work ALL for our good & His glory when we love Him. And to be honest, in certain situations & circumstances, that hope & that promise is all we have to cling to.

Sickness...
Contending physician visits...
Straining finances...
Exhausting work demands...
Stressed relationships...
Accumulating medical expenses...
Depletion in every area of life...
Mentally...
Physically...
Emotionally...
Spiritually...

And one wonders...

"How long with the drought linger?"

And God asks...

"Will you trust me in the midst of no rain?"

"Will you stay the course?"

I was blessed to share a morning of coffee & convo with one of my closest, dearest, sister-friends the other day & I posed this to her, "Life seems heavy for everyone... Big... Complex... A strain. Especially Christians. Striving to always do the right thing... Sometimes I get tired of trying & I wonder what it would be like to live the 'carefree' life... Doing what I want... When I want... How I want... Going to church if I feel like it & staying home if I don't. Serving God if it's convenient & doing the 'independent' route if it's not. Living footloose & fancy free, dismissing all conviction. I wonder what that life would be like..." We had a good, long discussion about it & then she said, "What's your alternative?"

Living the Christian life in & of itself is hard...
But it shouldn't be.

And then when you figure in the "additive" stresses of life...
That work to compromise every area & relationship of one's being...
The complexity seems nearly more than a brain can wrap-around.

And one wonders...

"How long with the drought linger?"

And God asks...

"Will you trust me in the midst of no rain?"

"Will you stay the course?"

As I continued to ponder our discussion after this one so dear to my heart departed our home, the Lord clearly showed me that my shallow mentality mirrored that of a part-time parent or an independent spouse. On again, off again. There when they want to be and not when they don't. Acting merely on convenience-basis. You do your thing, I'll do mine. You go your way, I'll go my way.

He showed me that I've never been that kind of a wife to Kyle...
And I've never been that kind of a parent to MaKayla & Mal...
Why would I want to be that kind of a child to Him?

He allowed me to envision what that would look like...
And sound like...

An independent spirit feeds a rebellious life.

Defiant.
Insubordinate.
Wayward.

Whether as a spouse...
A parent...
Or a child of the Most High God...

And it always, without a doubt, ends in destruction.

It was a process that I needed to work through & one, like all others, that God's grace was more than sufficient to guard & protect. He understands that at times we need to process such thoughts & ask such questions in order for us to see & to know & to be taught & to be reassured. He knows how finite our thinking is & that our thoughts are vain yet as we keep our eyes on Him, continually seek His face & constantly listen to His voice, He will administer truth to a searching heart.

In God's perfect timing the drought will end...
The rain will fall...
And the fruit of the vine that has "seemingly" been dormant will appear.

It's a beautiful summer morning in the country & I give the Almighty One praise for the faithfulness, goodness & love that He lavishes on me.